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💡 SPOTLIGHTED BOOK : Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office

📚 GUEST READER : Valentina Tacchino

💬 CONVERSATION HIGHLIGHTS:

• the book is very portable -- you can dip in and out
• how girls/women are educated to be "nice" and certain behavior were educated with not making the most for them in an office environment
• when being too "nice" can prevent us from standing up for ourselves or voicing our opinions
• student behaviors don't work in an office environment
• the cultural conventions and unwritten rules in within a work environment
• not wanting to confirm and "erase" yourself
• the book not asking women to be like men, but does invite you to reflect on your behaviors in relation to what men do or don't do
• make any book you read yours - don't follow it to the letter
• retaining your own personality and consciousness into reading and applying the book
• ask yourself what type of manager and leader you want to be
• unwritten rules come with any organization or community - hours in the office, dress codes, etc.
• many companies spell out the culture now, but at the time it wasn't like that
• wearing clothes that match your personality along with the unwritten rules of the industry
• sometimes you need to compromise on some things to make it easier for everyone
• mentoring people without telling people what to do
• having to change how I spoke to fit into the culture -- how you sound, how you project, when to participate, managing up, etc.
• not saying yes just because someone is your boss
• standing in your strength and in your values
• life and death moments in your career
• taking time and energy to find the way
• when saying "no" can nourish a relationship, rather than end it
• no is a powerful word in many contexts
• getting curious about someone's "no"
• personal gratification is what will keep us going
• shaking the tree, but not uprooting the tree

ℹ GUEST BIO AND LINKS:

Valentina Tacchino leads a team focused on wealth management for international clients at LGT Wealth Management. She looks after UK resident, not living in the UK and clients moving to the UK.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/valentina-tacchino-488b2a26/

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💡 SPOTLIGHTED BOOK : Unbound by Kasia Urbaniak
📚 GUEST READER : Lucy Chambers

💬 CONVERSATION HIGHLIGHTS:

• when managing 2 opposing views together ( a Taoist Nun and a Dominatrix)
• power is connected to our attention and where we direct it
• Dominant Position - attention out
• Submissive Position - attention in
• Link to coaching and coaches not setting the agenda
• power is about influence and nothing else
• both types of attention have value
• "The SMUSH" - when we flip flop between the two states of attention, or we have a foot in each state
• Incongruence occurs when our words don't match our energy - when we soften our words based on society's expectations on us
• People can smell intention - our animal body speaks more than we know/believe
• Manipulation - women get seen as this more often than men. Women fall into this SMUSH more often than men.
• Learning to ask from a place of grounded legitimacy.
• Socialized that asking correlates with weakness
• We can't have an impact and play big if we aren't willing to ask for what we want/need
• "I am not having a conversation with _____________ about ___________."
• Asking exposes our edges.
• Connecting our requests to our universal human needs.
• Asking creates an opportunity for others and gives them a new role in their life
• Be as specific as you can when making requests.
• The half ask is the SMUSH.
• Wanting people to read our minds doesn't work.
• We have a poor vocabulary for how we feel.
• Ideas need to be nourished.
• Allowing our asks to delight other people as they fulfill them.
• When our asks create a WIN-WIN.
• Asking takes vulnerability
• The toxic side of the independent woman - we don't have to do it all alone, and we are biologically leaned to connect with others.
• We don't create power siting alone in a room, but through connecting with others.
• Spend time taking things in and putting things out in the world.

📚 OTHER BOOKS/RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Imogen Roy
• Playing Big by Tara Mohr
• The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer
• Video Series : The Basics of Non-Violent Communication with Marshall Rosenberg
• Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara
• How to Start a Mistress Group Workbook

ℹ GUEST BIO AND LINKS:

Lucy Chambers is an anti-overwhelm coach and facilitator working on breaking old, broken patterns to create space for new great things. You can find and follow her at: https://facilitationmindset.substack.com/

https://www.facilitationmindset.com/

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💡 SPOTLIGHTED BOOK : First Things First by Stephen R. Covey 📚 GUEST READER : Maha Bali

💬 CONVERATION HIGHLIGHTS:

• it's a life management book and how to prioritize
• imagining the end of your life and what people will say about you
• Live, Love, Learn and Leave a Legacy
• visualization where you attend your own funeral
• when what is written on paper and what you do in real time does not match
• Do our personal goals interfere with our institution's goals?
• Switch careers in order to focus on learning and leaving a legacy
• You don't need to be balanced in all areas at all times - you might focus more on love in some phases of your life and then lean into learning and legacy in other phases
• when strong emotional labor in our work affects the rest of our life
• when we pursue a legacy that isn't ours
• education systems all have their issues
• when our pain points direct our passions and desire to "fix" things later in life
• restart works for more than computers and electronics
• leaning into what brings you joy
• opportunity gaps can cause us to choose a certain path, even if it doesn't fit for us
• when your value as a person is not remunerated financially within society
• reading books by only one demographic can be limiting
• reading things from different cultures takes additional reflection
• interacting with people from different cultures helps us understand other identities
• when you read a book by someone who lived it versus reading a book by someone who has observed the same experience
• when our looks and names get in the way of full assimilation in a country
• empathy to others oppression as an outside observer
• not forcing people into our language dynamics
• sharing learning with others and giving it freely
• share questions, not just the answers
• worry about giving the wrong knowledge

📚 OTHER BOOKS/RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey
• Mindvalley - Speak and Inspire Course
• Lisa Nichols
• Belong - Radha Agrawal
• Emergent Strategy - adrienne marree brown
• Imagination : A Manifesto - Ruha Benjamin
• The Art of Gathering - Priya Parker
• The Message by Ta-Nehisi Coates

ℹ GUEST BIO AND LINKS:

Maha Bali is Professor of Practice at the Center for Learning and Teaching at the American University in Cairo. She has a PhD in Education from the University of Sheffield, UK. She is co-founder of virtuallyconnecting.org (a grassroots movement that challenges academic gatekeeping at conferences) and co-facilitator of Equity Unbound (an equity-focused, open, connected intercultural learning curriculum, which has also branched into academic community activities Continuity with Care,Socially Just Academia, a collaboration with OneHE: Community-building Resources and MYFest, an innovative 3-month professional learning journey. She writes and speaks frequently about social justice, critical pedagogy, and open and online education. She blogs regularly at https://blog.mahabali.me and tweets @bali_maha.

For Maha’s list of peer-reviewed publications, see here.

For Maha’s list of keynotes and invited talks,

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