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LIVRE: Les structures fondamentales des sociétés humaines de Bernard Lahire
INVITÉ : Aïda Koné

Resumé:

• Comprendre les groupes humains
• Psychologie - focus sur l'individuel
• Sociologie - focus sur le groupe
• Racines communes entre les groupes
• Identifiez les différentes strates -- dimensions biologiques, sociales et culturelles
• Pour un facilitateur ou coach d'équipe, c'est bien de savoir où tu vas réagir le groupe -- par quelle couche
• Les couches sont bien mélanges
• Comment on est élevé, c'est la couche culturelle
• Métaphore utilisée -- le barba papa - le bâton, c'est la biologie, les aspects sociaux et culturels se tournent autour du bâton
• On a plusieurs dimensions dedans nous - empathique/coopératif et compétitif/dominant - l'un ET l'autre, pas l'un OU l'autre
• On se ressemble fort quand on a un grand danger - catastrophe naturelle
• Les liens de forces sociologue -- il y a 10 dans le livre -- un est le rapport de domination
• Les humaines sont l'animal qui reste dépendant sur nos parents le plus longs possible
• La hiérarchie est naturelle pour nous, donc il faut qu'on prenne attention quand on crée une culture
• Connaissance de soi -- c'est quoi ma culture personnelle et ma response de domination/contrôle?
• Pas tout le monde préfère une entreprise avec le management horizontale
• Le conflit a un aspect positif -- les gens son engagée
• Les valeurs sont exprimées dans le conflit
• Pas tous les conflits ont besoin d'un modérateur/trice
• On s'adapte à la culture ou on est
• Voit l'aspect positif dont on ne perd pas l'espoir
• Les femmes a le rôle de porter les bébés, donc ça donner le rôle d'hommes plus tôt à l'extérieur
• On est dans une transition vers l'égalité entre hommes et femmes
• Petites étapes pour garder l'espoir
• Il n'y a pas une hiérarchie entre biologie et culture

Autres livres mentionnée:

• Humankind by Rutger Bergman

BIOGRAPHIE D'AÏDA:
J'accompagne les dynamiques collectives en contexte de transformation avec les postures de coach d'équipes, facilitatrice, designer et formatrice.
Je suis particulièrement sensible aux enjeux de la transition écologique qui nous invitent à questionner nos interactions entre humains et avec le vivant dans son ensemble.

J'ai 48 ans, j'ai fait des études d'arts appliqués et ai travaillé dans la communication et le marketing avant de m'orienter vers l'accompagnement

LIEN LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aida-kone

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Spotlight Book: That's What She Said by Joanne Lipman
Guest : Dominique Ara

Conversation Highlights:

• soft skills are people to people
• transgender experiences can give a peak into how our gender biases show up
• hard to recognize that we live in a man's world
• not only men interrupt women - women do it too
• we're not dreaming - the experience of the world is different if you are a man or a woman
• need more sponsors versus mentors
• mentors - give us advice, been there before, tactical approaches
• sponsor - pave the way for us, put our name forward for
• mentorship can create more women acting like men
• the way we are conditioned can set up how we see the gender differences
• how to integrate when you are the "only"
• when you're trained to look at the differences in order to better integrate
• women have learned to talk "men"
• empowerment - the permission to not "act as if" but to act as I am
• team up with the people who think like me
• 20% of the people can change a system
• the power of getting together with others to change the system
• men are not the "bad guys" - they are shamed for being a man
• men are good people who have been conditioned into this system
• when courtesy becomes condescending
• when men don't say anything when they could/should
• the risk of speaking up that men feel -- they may disagree, but they don't speak up because they don't want to lose power/rank among the men
• coming in new to an organization where there is already a hierarchy - create a shared community and purpose that flattens the hierarchy
• when bad habits come back under pressure/stress
• understanding when/how I feel threatened, and what behaviors come up when under threat
• until proven otherwise, men are seen as competent -- until proven otherwise, women are seen as Incompetent
• what if women don't have imposter syndrome or confidence issues - it's just that the system forces women to prove ourselves more
• blind auditions in symphonies/orchestras - erases some of the bias
• Iceland as the number 1 ranked country for gender equity -- and it's not the women involved, it's the men
• the action men take need to NOT discredit themselves
• alliances between men/women to amplify one another's voices
• educate our boys differently

12 TIPS from the book:

1. Interrupt Interrupters
2. Use Amplification and Brag Buddies
3. Diversify interviewers, not just the applicants
4. She'll help your bottom line
5. She's not sorry, she's not lucky, and she's not asking you a question
6. Yay, that's not a compliment
7. She's pretty sure you don't respect her
8. Don't decide for her
9. Don't be afraid of tears
10. She's ready for a raise, but she won't ask for her
11. Hire women your mom's age
12. She deserves a promotion, she just doesn't know it yet.

Other Books Mentioned:

• Belonging by Owen Eastwood

GUEST BIO:
Dominique provides teams and organizations with the best appropriate medicine to heal interpersonal communication diseases. She aims to energize and empower people to transform their future by expressing their full potential today. Dominique helps corporation executives to align their core values into everyday life. She is a senior-certified coach in Conversational Intelligence (C-IQ).

You can find out more at:
https://dominique-ara.com/en/about/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dominique-ara/

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SPOTLIGHTED BOOK: The Perfectionists Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan Schafler
GUEST READER : Viktoriia Berezhna

CONVERSATION HIGHLIGHTS:

• Perfectionism evolves over time when we challenge our beliefs
• Preparing does help, but doesn't change perfectionism
• The 5 Kinds of Perfectionists : Classic, Intense, Messy, Procrastinator, Parisian
• Intense - really high expectations for self and others and get intense if expectations not met
• Procrastinator Perfectionist - wait until it's flawless before putting it out there
• Are there differences in how perfectionism shows up based on your age?
• Perfectionism being external - meeting invisible standards
• The role of social media on perfectionism
• When you're driven by what other people think
• Small towns, gossip, and the connection to perfectionism
• Living in integrity means letting go of perfectionism
• When you take something that's perfect in your head and move to create it in the real world
• Are we afraid of the reality not meeting our vision, or the feelings that come up
• Perfectionism connected to shame, regret, grief, etc.
• Not calling ourselves as a "Recovering Perfectionism"
• Can you see perfectionism as a super-power? Use perfectionism in an adaptive and maladaptive way.
• Positive sides of perfectionism
• When you work in a team and how perfectionism styles collide
• Perfectionism is not an illness
• Seeing the gifts in your individual perfectionism
• Power in the self-awareness of your perfectionism
• Purposely making mistakes to "cure" perfectionism
• Different contexts drive different perfectionist tendency
• How do we become a perfectionist? Conditioning from parents, society, etc.
• What we do to make our parents feel proud.
• Coping mechanisms vary depend on the type of perfectionist you are
• Knowing who you are as a way to help you cope
• Keep self moving and out of over-thinking - preparing to do the thing isn't doing the thing, making a list about what to do is also not doing the thing
• Repeated action - just start.
• Do something in which you never expect yourself to be perfect. Purposely be bad.
• Whose yardstick are you measuring yourself by?
• Whose rules are you living by? Can you break some of them?
• How do you know if you are striving in a healthy way or in a perfectionist way?

OTHER BOOKS MENTIONED:

• Playing Big by Tara Mohr
• The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

GUEST BIO:
Viktoriia is a product designer with a passion for creating impactful and user-friendly solutions. With over two years of experience at her current workplace as a Design Team Lead, she is exploring her path as a leader. Currently, she's building a startup called Bookclub VR, an Extended Reality app designed for reading and book clubs, alongside an incredible team of professionals.

Beyond her work, I’m passionate about reading fiction, playing all kinds of racket sports (with a special love for table tennis), and constantly surface-learning new and interesting things, all while still being deeply connected to her journey in design.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/viktoriiaberezhnaya/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/bookclubvr/

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