In this episode, Lizzie and Deana delve into the complexities of manipulation, focusing on gaslighting, blame shifting, and minimizing. They share personal stories and insights on how these tactics can distort reality and erode emotional safety. The conversation emphasizes the importance of recognizing red flags in relationships and offers practical tips for recovery and healthy communication.

Takeaways

• Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that makes you doubt your memory and perception.
• Blame shifting is a common tactic used to avoid responsibility for one's actions.
• Minimizing someone's feelings can erode their emotional safety.
• Recognizing red flags in conversations is crucial for emotional well-being.
• Healthy communication involves feeling safe to express oneself without fear of backlash.
• Keeping a journal can help validate your experiences and memories.
• Seeking support from trusted individuals is essential during confusing times.
• Scripture can provide validation and strength in difficult situations.
• It's important to affirm your own truth in the face of manipulation.
• Healing from toxic relationships is possible with the right support and resources.

Sound Bites

• "He drained all of her retirement."
• "Minimizing erodes emotional safety."
• "Confusion is not from God."

Chapters
00:00
Understanding Manipulation in Relationships

07:12
Blame Shifting: A Personal Story

15:20
Red Flags: Learning from the Past

20:04
Tools for Recovery and Healing

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On the first episode of "Talk It Out Tuesdays", Lizzie and Deana discuss the phenomenon of "gray divorce", particularly focusing on the emotional and financial impacts of divorce for individuals over 50. They share personal experiences of navigating divorce in midlife, the challenges of dating, and the importance of personal growth and healing. The conversation emphasizes the need for women to reclaim their identities and find hope after divorce, encouraging listeners to embrace their journeys and seek support.

Takeaways

• Gray divorce is increasingly common among those over 50.
• Women initiate the majority of divorces, especially in midlife.
• Divorce can significantly impact financial stability, particularly for women.
• The experience of divorce varies greatly between those in their 30s and 50s.
• Survival mode during divorce can differ based on life stage and responsibilities.
• Dating in midlife presents unique challenges, including blending families.
• Being single can offer peace and an opportunity for personal growth.
• Reframing one's story after divorce is crucial for healing.
• It's important to recognize and address red flags in new relationships.
• Perseverance and faith can guide individuals through the healing process.

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In this conversation, Lizzie and Deana explore the complexities of manipulation within faith-based relationships, particularly focusing on how women of faith may be more susceptible to manipulative behaviors. They discuss various manipulation tactics, including passive-aggressive humor, emotional guilt, and triangulation, while emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and healthy communication. The conversation concludes with practical tools for recognizing manipulation and affirmations for those feeling confused or overwhelmed in their relationships.

Takeaways

• Women of faith are often taught to be people-centric, making them vulnerable to manipulation.
• Toxic empathy is not reflected in the Bible; we must be wise as serpents.
• Gut feelings can be a form of guidance, often overlooked in faith contexts.
• Manipulation can manifest through passive-aggressive humor and emotional guilt.
• Triangulation involves bringing in a third party to avoid accountability.
• Recognizing patterns in relationships is crucial for understanding manipulation.
• Healthy communication requires mutual respect and acknowledgment of feelings.
• Confusion in conversations often indicates unhealthy dynamics.
• Self-awareness tools can help identify manipulation signs.
• You are not alone in your experiences; validation is important.

Chapters

00:00
The Vulnerability of Women of Faith

02:35
Recognizing Manipulation Tactics

04:48
Understanding Emotional Guilt and Obligation

07:22
The Impact of Triangulation

10:02
Healthy Communication Strategies

12:37
Discernment and Self-Check Techniques

15:17
Conclusion and Affirmation

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We would love to have you join us on our public FB group; Women of Faith; Breaking Free From Toxic Relationships, or request to join our private FB group; The Matadoras.

In this conversation, three time best selling author, Azadeh Atzberger shares her powerful journey from a troubled childhood marked by bullying and substance abuse to reclaiming her life after escaping an extremely toxic relationship. She discusses the challenges she faced, including addiction, domestic violence, and the struggle to find her voice. Through resilience and support, Azadeh found recovery, rebuilt her life, and now helps others navigate their own healing journeys. Her story is one of empowerment, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and embracing peace after trauma. Grab a copy of her books here! https://a.co/d/fTSCEeg

Takeaways:

• Azadeh's early life was marked by bullying and cultural challenges.
• Substance abuse became a coping mechanism during her teenage years.
• She experienced a toxic relationship that involved manipulation and abuse.
• The turning point came when she escaped from her abuser after a traumatic incident.
• Recovery involved confronting her past and reclaiming her voice.
• Azadeh emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries in relationships.
• She highlights the need for self-love and healing after trauma.
• Her journey includes finding faith and purpose in helping others.
• Azadeh's story illustrates the power of resilience and personal growth.
• She encourages listeners to prioritize their peace and well-being.

Chapters

00:00
Introduction to Azadeh's Journey

00:30
Overcoming Childhood Bullying and Trauma

04:01
Struggles with Addiction and Abusive Relationships

08:26
Breaking Free from a Toxic Relationship

17:16
Finding Strength and Purpose in Recovery

21:46
Navigating Relationships After Trauma

27:10
Embracing Peace and Healing

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Check out our website; survivingtoxicrelationships.org

We would love to have you join us on our public FB group; Women of Faith; Breaking Free From Toxic Relationships, or request to join our private FB group; The Matadoras.

In this conversation, Dr. Becky Whetstone, LMFT discusses the complexities of marriage, particularly focusing on the challenges faced when one partner wants to end the marriage. Becky shares insights from her book, "I Think I Want Out, The 5 Stages of Marital Breakdown" which addresses the five stages of marital deterioration and the lack of resources available for couples in crisis. The discussion also delves into the dynamics of narcissistic relationships, the impact on children, and the importance of supporting victims of such relationships.

Throughout the conversation, Becky emphasizes the need for awareness and proactive measures in addressing marital issues before they escalate, while sharing her experiences dealing with narcissistic family members and ex-spouses. She also emphasizes the importance of legal preparedness, particularly having wills in place. The discussion highlights strategies for outsmarting narcissists, the emotional toll of such relationships, and the journey towards resilience and recovery. The speakers aim is to empower listeners with knowledge and insights to navigate their own challenges with narcissism.
Dr. Whetstone has been featured on CNN, The Wall Street Journal, Huffington Post and more.

You can find her book here: I (Think) I Want Out: What to Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage

Takeaways

There is a significant void in self-help resources for couples facing marriage crisis.

• Understanding the five stages of marital deterioration can help couples address issues early.
• Narcissistic partners often resist therapy and blame their spouses for problems.
• Victims of narcissistic relationships need validation and support to heal.
• Children are affected by parental conflicts and need one healthy parent.
• It's crucial to communicate the truth to children in an age-appropriate manner.
• Narcissists often manipulate perceptions and create division among family members.
• Therapists can help victims recognize that the issues are not their fault.
• The emotional toll of divorce can be profound and long-lasting.
• Healing from a toxic relationship requires time and self-compassion. If your ex is a narcissist, get your kids to have a will.
• Narcissists can create nightmarish family dynamics, especially after death.
• Ironclad wills are essential when dealing with narcissistic family members.
• Don't let a family member be the executor of a will if they're narcissistic.
• Legal advice can help you outsmart narcissists in court.
• Resilience is crucial for mental and emotional health after toxic relationships.
• Trust your intuition; it's often right about relationships.
• Narcissists thrive on retribution and manipulation.
• Seek therapy to help recover from narcissistic abuse.
• Empower yourself with knowledge to prevent falling into traps.

Chapters

00:00
Introduction to Marital Challenges

03:01
The Five Stages of Marital Deterioration

06:0

Like and follow us on YouTube, & Tik Tok! @survivingtoxicrelationships12

Check out our website; survivingtoxicrelationships.org

We would love to have you join us on our public FB group; Women of Faith; Breaking Free From Toxic Relationships, or request to join our private FB group; The Matadoras.

In this episode, Lizzie and Deana explore the critical distinction between forgiveness and reconciliation, emphasizing that forgiveness is a personal choice that can occur independently of the other party's actions. They discuss the importance of healing from emotional trauma, the necessity of setting boundaries, and the significance of surrounding oneself with supportive individuals. The conversation highlights that forgiveness is essential for personal peace, while reconciliation requires mutual effort and safety.

Takeaways
Forgiveness is a personal choice to release resentment.

• Reconciliation requires mutual effort and safety.
• Healing from trauma takes time and is a personal journey.
• Being angry is a natural part of the healing process.
• Forgiveness does not mean condoning the harm done.
• Setting boundaries is crucial for self-preservation.
• Surround yourself with supportive people during healing.
• Forgiveness can happen without the other person's involvement.
• You can forgive someone and still choose not to reconcile.
• True love involves accountability and change from the person who caused harm.

Chapters

00:00
Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation: Understanding the Difference

09:44
The Process of Healing: Moving Beyond Anger

18:57
Setting Boundaries: The Importance of Self-Preservation

26:41
Choosing Your Circle: Surrounding Yourself with Supportive People

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Check out our website; survivingtoxicrelationships.org

We would love to have you join us on our public FB group; Women of Faith; Breaking Free From Toxic Relationships, or request to join our private FB group; The Matadoras.

Summary

In this conversation, Katherine Miura, a licensed marriage and family therapist, shares her insights on navigating narcissistic abuse. She defines narcissistic abuse as the construction of a false perception of reality by the abuser to control the victim. Katherine emphasizes the strength of the victim, the importance of recognizing the illusion created by narcissists, and the need for self-empowerment. The discussion also covers the red flags to watch for in relationships, the impact of narcissistic dynamics on personal growth, and the significance of understanding one's own vulnerabilities as an empath. In this conversation, Katherine Miura and the Matadoras discuss the complexities of relationships affected by narcissism and emotional abuse. They explore themes of empathy, faith, and the burdens of expectations placed on individuals in toxic relationships. The discussion highlights the transformative power of adversity, the importance of recognizing red flags, and the emotional toll of ending unhealthy relationships. Through personal stories, they emphasize the significance of healing and finding purpose in pain, ultimately encouraging listeners to seek truth and support in their journeys.

Takeaways

• Narcissistic abuse involves creating a false perception of reality.
• Victims often underestimate their own strength.
• Understanding the narcissist's weakness can empower the victim.
• Setting boundaries is crucial for self-respect.
• Narcissists use manipulation tactics like love bombing and gaslighting.
• Recognizing red flags early can prevent future abuse.
• Empathy can make individuals vulnerable to narcissists.
• Healing involves breaking the trauma bond and reclaiming self-worth.
• The cycle of kindness and cruelty is a common tactic used by narcissists.
• Awareness and education are key to preventing narcissistic relationships. The line between empathy and grandiosity can be thin.
• Faith can complicate the dynamics of abusive relationships.
• Toxic relationships can lead to a crisis of faith.
• Adversity can lead to personal transformation and growth.
• Recognizing the signs of abuse is crucial for healing.
• Ending a relationship can feel like a failure, but it can also be a step towards freedom.
• Support from those who understand is vital in recovery.
• The journey through abuse can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself.
• Healing is possible, and purpose can be found in pain.
• Sharing experiences can foster community and support.

00:00
Understanding Narcissistic Abuse

06:05
The Illusion of Control

12:08
Breaking Free from the Cycle

18:34
Recognizing Red Flags

24:28
The Impact of Narcissistic Relationships

30:41
Empathy and Vulnerability in Relationships

34:08
The Complexity of Empathy and Grandiosity

35:16
Faith, Relationships, and the Burden of Expectations

36:59
The Impact of Toxic Relationships on Faith

38:23
Transformation Through Adversity

40:48
Finding Purpose in Pain

42:44
Recognizing the Face of Evil

45:00
Understanding Abuse and Its Effects

47:30
Identifying Red Flags in Relationships

50:48
The Emotional Toll of Ending Relationships

Like and follow us on YouTube, & Tik Tok! @survivingtoxicrelationships12

Check out our website; survivingtoxicrelationships.org

We would love to have you join us on our public FB group; Women of Faith; Breaking Free From Toxic Relationships, or request to join our private FB group; The Matadoras.

In this conversation, Mandy Schulis, a narrative coach and nervous system expert, shares her insights on healing after toxic relationships. She emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, patience, and understanding the nervous system's role in emotional recovery. Mandy provides practical tools for women to navigate their healing journey, including breathing techniques and the significance of recognizing positive experiences. She also discusses her book, '48 Hours to Change Your Life,' which offers a framework for personal transformation following trauma.

Takeaways

Mandy Schulis is a narrative coach and nervous system expert.

• Healing from toxic relationships requires patience and self-compassion.
• Talking to yourself gently is crucial for emotional recovery.
• Recognizing the nervous system's response is key to healing.
• Breathing techniques like box breathing can help reset the nervous system.
• Finding hope and evidence of progress is essential in recovery.
• Positive experiences can help shift the focus from negativity.
• Mandy's book provides a framework for personal transformation.
• The first 24 hours after trauma should focus on self-care and reflection.
• It's important to remember where you came from to appreciate your journey.
  Chapters
  00:00
  Introduction to Mandy Schulis
  01:50
  Healing After Toxic Relationships
  03:11
  The Importance of Self-Compassion
  08:30
  Understanding the Nervous System
  11:39
  Finding Hope and Evidence
  16:55
  The Bucket Analogy for Healing
  22:11
  48 Hours to Change Your Life
  28:52
  Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Like and follow us on YouTube, & Tik Tok! @survivingtoxicrelationships12

Check out our website; survivingtoxicrelationships.org

We would love to have you join us on our public FB group; Women of Faith; Breaking Free From Toxic Relationships, or request to join our private FB group; The Matadoras.