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Whe are The Movie Roulette Podcast, and whe like to party. Whe are the ONLY hwones who party. Whait, whe can’t ALL party. OK, let’s party! Now, on to the episode! Rod whants to be the best stuntman ever. The problem is that he sucks. He also whants to kick his stepfather’s ass to gain his respect. The problem is that his stepfather needs a heart transplant, which is not covered by insurance. Whith help from his crewh, his crush, and the powher of the flaming crocodile claw, Rod sets out to perform his largest stunt yet, raise money for the heart transplant, whin the girl, and finally kick his stepfather’s ass. Life is short, stunt it. Peep the strategy, and join us while whe discuss the movie Hot Rod!

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Hey friends and cohorts! What would your secret knock be? Maybe the Firestorm intro?! We have a Yankees rap for your aural enjoyment. Slammy Sosa approves. Falling cameras. Sic balls! Can you believe Andy actually thinks Shrout and Jason can’t read?! He’s the one reading The Body (For Dummies). The funny thing is, he can’t remember names. What a cock knocker.

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Dick Dreyfuss here! How are ya? Some kids catch wind of a dead kid that was found along the railroad tracks far from town. (The poor bastard got hit by a train while picking blueberries). They decide to journey to the dead body so they can see it. Excitement, craziness, and bonding all happen along the way. Three things before I leave you… 1. You get two for flinching. 2. Chris Chambers never misses. 3. Andy bought the book, Andy read the book, and Andy brings up the book every 2-3 minutes. Brace yourselves, and join my friends Shrout, Andy, and Jason, as they discuss the iconic movie: Stand By Me!

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Come on! We’re going on a road trip out west, to Nilbog Valley. Bill Brasky and Ricky Sweats are coming with us. (Wait, who?) Anyway, they have these kid casinos out there, but folks are trying to have them shut down due to the kids getting addicted to candy bars, bubble gum, and licorice. Oh, and maybe for employing underage candy servers. Johnny Love will be performing a set during open mic at the casino bar. Oddly enough, they serve beer. Why ask why? (Try Bud Dry!) Along the way, we’ll get ice cream cones. Is it even possible to be upset while eating an ice cream cone? We think not. They’ll make a movie about this trip. It’ll be 2.5 hours long (Jesus Christ!), and it’ll be called “Do The Ladder Rungs Ever End? How High Are We Going?” What makes it special is that this will be Jason and Andy’s first trip to this amazing place. But not Shrout’s. He’s been everywhere…man.

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This week, we’ve got one that may or may not be based on Andy’s childhood experiences. A few kids go on the road trip of their lives, on their way to compete in Video Armageddon, the ultimate video game competition. Along the way, they encounter (and try to escape from) all kinds of characters, from family, to creepy private investigators, to teenage bullies, to the ultimate gamer (he brings out our bully instincts due to the actor being a real life creep), hustling anyone they can in video games to make some cash to survive the trip. So, without further ado, join us as we discuss…The Wizard!

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Oh, look! A cute little episode! Ghost In The Corner drops some knowledge. Rag-tag sports movies are 12 for ten cents. Mike Myers! Everybody wanted the guy from Smashmouth to die, didn’t they? Andy tries to wax intellectual about Moby Dick, but he has never even read it. Shrout gets all worked up over sports team locations. Jose Oquendo, Carlos Baerga. Gleeking. Why would you say “don’t”, when it already happened?! It doesn’t even matter. As Jason always says, we’ll blow it in the 9th.

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It’s 1989, and the Cleveland Indians suck. The owner dies, leaving the team to his wife, who wants to sink the team and move them to Miami. She attempts to do this by putting together a roster of aging veterans past their prime, unproven rookies, and some other oddball guys who probably shouldn’t be in the bigs. They are terrible at first, but then the rag-tag bunch manages to win a few, ultimately smashing any hopes the new owner has of relocating. It’s a star studded cast, including the legendary Bob Uecker. Joined off-mic by our friend, Ghost In The Corner, we discuss the beloved baseball classic…Major League!

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Allow us to take you to weird places in this little jammer! Hassling bar patrons. Airsoft guns. The “fuck you horseshoe”. Bullets and water. The University Of “Melbun”. Theories on how Kim Cattrall got her part. Best table smashes. A pistol that shoots…jelly. Andy can’t even talk shit without stuttering. Jason tells us a story of the most hilariously terrible and embarrassing frontman of a band that he’s ever seen. You get caught up in the…FRUIT SODA! Oh, and Hollywood tried calling us again! AND WE THOUGHT THEY LOST OUR NUMBER…

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