In this episode, host Julie Menanno delves into the evolving dynamics of Melissa and Drew's marriage as they navigate the life-altering effects of parenthood. After 12 therapy sessions, the couple has made strides in breaking free from negative communication patterns, but challenges still arise around their differing needs for social time.

Melissa, a stay-at-home mom, opens up about the insecurities and frustrations that come with her role, feeling like her personal sacrifices go unnoticed as she devotes herself to their family. When Drew mentions his desire to hang out with friends and potentially take trips—like one to Vegas—Melissa feels overwhelmed and unappreciated, her insecurities amplified by the freedom Drew seems to have.

Julie helps the couple explore how the unspoken pressures of motherhood can shift relationship dynamics and create emotional disconnects. Through constructive dialogue, both partners learn to validate each other's needs while addressing the vulnerabilities that have shaped their current struggles. The episode encourages listeners to reflect on how societal expectations around motherhood can influence marital dynamics—and why open, empathetic communication is key to bridging those gaps.

• Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
• For weekly homework assignments visit Julie's website: The Secure Relationship
• Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, Drew confronts his deep-seated feelings of shame, tracing their roots back to childhood experiences, including a pivotal moment at a baseball game when his father left him. This incident instilled a belief of inadequacy that resurfaces in his present-day struggles, particularly regarding anxiety about new work conditions. Drew expresses fears of needing to "reprove" himself, which amplifies his feelings of failure and shame.

Under Julie's guidance, Drew begins to articulate these emotions and recognizes the importance of being vulnerable with Melissa, despite his tendency to avoid such discussions. This session marks a significant milestone in their therapy journey, as Julie notes that it may be the last deep dive into Drew's shame, indicating his progress in being fully present with his struggles. The couple's evolving dynamic highlights the shift from avoidance to emotional connection, setting the stage for a more secure relationship.

• Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
• Sign up now for Julie's upcoming Couples Workshop this Saturday, September 28th: Healing Together Workshop
• For weekly homework assignments visit Julie's website: The Secure Relationship
• Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, host and couples therapist Julie Menanno focuses on Melissa, the anxious partner in her relationship with Drew. Melissa feels an overwhelming sense of "getting it wrong" in her interactions with him. As Melissa navigates these vulnerable feelings, Julie guides her out of intellectualizing emotions and into truly experiencing them. Through the session, Julie points out how Melissa's tendency to process feelings in her head can act as a defense mechanism against deeper pain, stemming from a fear of rejection and loneliness.

As Melissa opens up, Julie reassures Drew's presence, ensuring he is a co-regulating force for Melissa's emotions. She emphasizes how Drew, though supportive, needs to work on acknowledging Melissa's feelings without jumping into his own discomfort or trying to fix them immediately. For those listening, Julie encourages self-validation by staying with difficult emotions, rather than rushing to intellectualize or dismiss them. The key takeaway: in relationships, partners should make space for each other's feelings before attempting to address or resolve them. This process not only deepens emotional intimacy but also helps build secure attachment over time.

• Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
• For weekly homework assignments visit Julie's website: The Secure Relationship
• Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime