The Session: Living the Empty Nest Life to the Fullest, from Michelle Howe, Focus on the Family

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Rev Up Your Marriage

• This could be a marriage retreat
• It could also mean planning more 24-72 hour getaways
• It may also include going on a cruise

Keep Talking

• Try to connect with the person that you originally fell in love with and talk about memories
• You could attempt to make it a romantic evening over a nice dinner for two.

Make a list of things that you would want to see happen or do with your remaining years

• Jeremiah 29:11 tells us to focus on the plans, hope and the future that God has for the remainder of your married life.
• You and your spouse should be open to trying new things in the empty nest. That may mean joining a local gym or taking up a sport. It could be a dance group or a book club.

Don’t Let the Past Predict and/or Ruin the Future

• It is important that we keep short accounts of anger. If one of you or your spouse are carrying a past hurt, it is important to bring it before the Lord and lay it at Jesus feet and let go of it.

Actively Strengthen Relationships, and Prioritize Self-Care

• This could mean focusing on a relationship that is important to both of you that may have been neglected over time. Encourage getting together for a meal or some kind of outing.
• As mentioned earlier, joining a gym can help a couple enhance their self-care. Regular workouts will help maintain the body longer.

Travel

• It is very doable to check online for a day trip in your state that you live in. This is an example of something you may not have had time to do when you were in the heat of your

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: The Need For Rest, from Amanda Idleman, Crosswalk.com

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work (Genesis 2:2)

3 Reasons Why it Is Crucial That We Rest

The inability to rest affects every part of our lives. It’s a lie from the enemy of our souls that we can do it all, that we can ignore our own…

1. God Commands Us to Rest:

Hebrews 4:9-11 says, “So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience.”

2. Rest Empowers Us to Live Righteously: Galatians 6:9 urges us to not grow weary in doing good, for in due season, we will reap a harvest if we don’t give up. How is it that we avoid weariness? Through making sure we get adequate rest.

3. Rest Improves Our Productivity:

When we give him our minds, bodies, schedules, and other needs, he empowers us to do more with less!

6 Helps For Better Sleep from the Mayo Clinic

1. Stick to a sleep schedule

Set aside no more than eight hours for sleep. The recommended amount of sleep for a healthy adult is at least seven hours. Most people don't need more than eight hours in bed to be well rested.

Go to bed and get up at the same time every day, including weekends. Being consistent reinforces your body's sleep-wake cycle.

If you don't fall asleep within about 20 minutes of going to bed, leave your bedroom and do something relaxing. Read or listen to soothing music. Go back to bed when you're tired. Repeat as needed but continue to maintain your sleep schedule and wake-up time.

2. Pay attention to what you eat and drink

Don't go to bed hungry or stuffed. In particular, avoid heavy or large meals within a couple of hours of bedtime. Discomfort might keep you up.

Nicotine, caffeine and alcohol deserve caution, too. The stimulating effects of nicotine and caffeine take hours to wear off and can interfere with sleep. And even though alcohol might make you feel sleepy at first, it can disrupt sleep later in the night.

3. Create a restful environment

Keep your room cool, dark and quiet. Exposure to light in the evenings might make it more challenging to fall asleep. Avoid prolonged use of light-emitting screens just before bedtime. Consider using room-darkening shades, earplugs, a fan or other devices to create an environment that suits your needs.

Doing calming activities before bedtime, such as taking a bath or using relaxation techniques, might promote better sleep.

4. Limit daytime naps (BUT I LIKE MY NAPEE!)

Long daytime naps can interfere with nighttime sleep. Limit naps to no more than one hour and avoid napping late in the day.

However, if you work nights, you might need to nap late in the day before work to help make up your sleep debt.

5. Include physical activity in your daily routine

Regular physical activity can promote better sleep. However, avoid being active too close to bedtime.

Spending time outside every day might be helpful, too.

6. Manage worries

Try to resolve your worries or concerns before bedtime. Jot down what's on your mind and then set it aside for tomorrow.

Stress management might help. Start with the basics, such as getting organized, setting priorities and delegating tasks. Meditation also can ease anxiety.

Know when to contact your health care provider

Nearly everyone has an occasional sleepless night. However, if you often have trouble sleeping, contact your health care provider. Identifying and treating any underlying causes can help you get the better sleep you deserve.

Mayo Clinic Mi

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: The Energy Vampire, by Dr. Mosunic

Psalm 29:11

May the Lord give strength to his people! May the Lord bless his people with peace!

First, let’s define the energy vampire…bleh bleh bleh

Different types of energy vampires?

Energy vampires are people who suck the energy right out of you. After talking to them, you feel exhausted and are not real sure why.

Dr. Mosunic would say that energy vampires are the type of person who constantly demands your attention, support, or empathy, oftentimes without realizing it. The effects of being around an energy vampire is more than just feeling a bit tired after a long chat. It's about feeling constantly worn out, stressed, or even sad after your interactions with them.

Different types of energy vampires

The Victim

This type of energy vampire is always encountering problems and seeking sympathy. They often see themselves as perpetually wronged by life and share their woes frequently, expecting constant support and reassurance.

The Criticizer

The criticizer is quick to point out flaws and rarely has anything positive to say. Whether it's about your choices or general aspects of life, their constant criticism can chip away at your confidence and leave you feeling judged and inadequate.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."

The Dramatizer

The dramatizer’s need for drama can create an atmosphere of tension and unrest. They are capable of blowing things out of proportion to keep the center of attention.

• They tell the worst-case scenario for attention and acceptance

The Blamer

Blamers have a habit of holding others responsible for their own problems. They struggle to take accountability for their actions and often find someone else to point fingers at

• Blame has a job description. It keeps the fuels of anger alive, and it shifts responsibility to take care of it to the person they are angry at.

The Manipulator

Manipulators are skilled in using emotional tactics to get what they want. They might use guilt, pity, or flattery, making it challenging to discern their true intentions.

• The all too powerful guilt trip

How to spot an emotional vampire: 4 signs

They Need to Be The Center Of Attention

• They are capable of interrupting conversations and driving them back to themselves
• Their constant need for attention can be very draining

They exaggerate problems

• Sarcasm is their friend. They are very capable of blowing things out of proportion.

They blame others constantly

• They refuse to take responsibility for their issues.
• Their toxicity is very toxic on their environment where people don’t want to work.
• The Locus of Control isn’t in them

They use people

They are masterful at manipulating people and situations to their advantage

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Family Issues

Psalm 133:1

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!"

Family issues are when an actual or potential conflict between or related to family members becomes a constant source of negative emotions.

• When a family cannot resolve conflicts and and emotional intensity around the relationship becomes overwhelming, it can lead to symptoms of common mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression.

What Are Some Symptoms Of Family Issues?

From Pew Research Center

• Anxiety or worry: You may be frequently preoccupied with concerns about your family and struggle to focus on other things. Over an extended period, this can translate into mental health issues.
• Sadness or depression: Feelings of tension, conflict, or disconnection from your family might make you feel sad or hopeless.
• General stress: You may have trouble sleeping or experience physical symptoms including muscle tension, headaches, and digestive troubles, often time due to family worries like financial troubles or other money problems, or the inability to resolve conflicts in your own home.
• Conflicts with other loved ones: If a relationship with one person is upsetting you, you might find that issues also come up with other people you’re close to. For example, tension with a parent might make you more sensitive in your relationship with your partner. Or differences between parenting styles may affect healthy communication within the family as a whole.
• Low self-esteem: Feeling insecure or threatened within a relationship that means a lot to you can make you doubt yourself and your worth. It can lead to feelings of inferiority
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Different Kinds of Conflict

Parent/child conflict:

• Parents often play such a large part in our earliest development, issues between parents and children can be especially emotional and deeply rooted.

Issues with siblings:

• Competition, comparison, different relational styles: all of these (and many other factors) can lead to conflict with siblings.

Communication Issues

• Communication issues: You don’t feel heard; you wonder whether the other person understands you; you struggle to say what you mean. These are all forms of communication issues, a common setback in many family relationships.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Causes of Family Stress, from Better Help

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!" (Psalm 133:1)

Parental relationship problems

• Constant parent fighting causes unnecessary and unproductive tension in children’s lives

Finances

• Job loss, inability to work, uncontrolled spending, gambling problems, or another reason, stress and conflict related to money and bills is common.

Health Conditions

• When one or more family members is experiencing a health challenge—from a chronic physical condition to a mental illness to a disability

Toxic behaviors between family members

• Sometimes, stress or dysfunction in a family can be traced primarily to the toxic behaviors of one member. For example, someone who frequently engages in manipulation tactics, dishonesty, scapegoating, or similar behaviors can be extremely difficult or even dangerous to live with. These can be personality traits or signs of certain personality disorders.

Unaddressed trauma related to family issues

• In most cases, trauma that has not been effectively and healthily recognized, processed, and healed will cause issues in a person’s life in some way. A family unit that experiences trauma together—such as war, a natural disaster, or the sudden death of a loved one.

Unhealthy expectations

• Family members who feel pressure to conform to unhealthy and/or impossible standards may experience negative effects as a result. For example, a household where each child is expected to perform perfectly in school, never express negative emotions, or never bring up conflict can eventually cause them to disengage or lash out.

Too much or too little time together

• On the other hand, families that are so busy or live so far apart that they rarely get to spend quality time together could also end up experiencing conflict.

Poor or nonexistent communication

• Healthy, honest, frequent communication is widely considered to be the foundation of healthy relationships of all types. Families without it are likely to experience recurrent conflict as issues that arise may not be properly addressed and members may not feel heard.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: The Middle Child

Mark 10:13–16

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.

5 characteristics of a middle child:

· They're peacemakers and pleasers.

· They're competitive.

· They try to fit in.

· They are independent and focus on friendships.

· They act out to get attention

Characteristics of a Middle Child

· Not as family-oriented as their siblings. They may have a stronger sense of not belonging than their siblings do. ...

· Feeling overshadowed. They come to believe that their parents don't care about them. ...

· Mobile. They're often the first sibling to move out of the house. ...

· Not perfectionists. ***DOES THIS MEAN THEY ARE SLOBS?***

Middle Child Personality Traits

The middle child is often a people-pleaser due to the lack of attention they get compared to older siblings and younger siblings.

You may be a people pleaser if:

*You want to avoid conflict. ...

· You fear rejection. ...

· You fear disappointing others. ...

· You want something in return. ...

· You want others to be nice to you. ...

· You want to fit in. ...

· You are easily influenced by others. ...

· You are genuinely compassionate.

What is the psychology behind the middle child?

Since they are given some level of independence, they can end up developing initiative and creativity. Researchers found that middle children also become more sociable and outgoing since they learn to assert themselves and speak their mind. They also have a chance of being as well-adjusted as their siblings.

Middle children are more independent as they gain confidence. Middle children typically have more freedom and less pressure growing up. Sometimes they can even get away with more things as a kid.

What Is Middle-Child Syndrome?

Many experts who study personality believe that your family’s birth order plays a role in your development. They see "middle-child syndrome" as the idea that if you're neither the oldest child nor the youngest, you get less attention from your parents and feel “caught in the middle”.‌

As a result, you may take on certain personality traits that are different from those of your older and younger siblings.

***THIS MAKES SENSE. YOU WANT TO FIND A WAY TO BE NOTICED***

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: The Five Cylinder Intimacy Engine of Marriage & Goal Setting in Marriage

Genesis 2:24: “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

The Five Cylinder Intimacy Engine explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

5. Recreational

· Hobbies

· Sports

4. Mental

· Planning, Discussing politics

3. Emotional

· Experiencing Their Emotions

2. Physical

· Bedroom Olympics

1. Spiritual

Smart Goals (Being Proactive and Intentional)

1. Specific

2. Measurable

3. Action

4. Revise

5. Time

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session-Loneliness

Psalm 68:5-6 ~ “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.”

God is always present and provides comfort; Psalm 34:18, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit," emphasizing God's closeness to those who are hurting; and Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest," offering solace and a place of refuge in Jesus.

Key themes from these verses include:

• God's constant presence: Regardless of your circumstances, God is always with you and will never leave you alone.
• God's love and care: He deeply cares about your pain and desires to comfort you.
• Finding strength in God: Even when feeling lonely, you can find strength and hope in your relationship with God.

Other verses to encourage you:

• Hebrews 13:5: "He promised never to leave us"
• Psalm 121:4: "He neither slumbers nor sleeps"

Other ways to combat loneliness:

• Connect with other Christians
• Believe that God can use your loneliness to bring you closer to him.

Overcoming The Pain Of Loneliness, from Tracy Miles

Turn to me and have mercy, for I am alone and in deep distress.” Psalm 25:16 (NLT)

If you’re feeling lonely, plan a time to get away and recover.

(Scott question: By yourself? Which seems counterproductive to being lonely… or with family or a group?)

This can be Christian camp or retreat center or a plan or program that a church puts together to help a person when they have depleted their resources.

A new environment gives a person a chance to focus more on their walk with Jesus.

Key mental health problems associated with loneliness:

• Depression:Loneliness is a major risk factor for developing or exacerbating depressive symptoms.
• Anxiety:Studies show a strong association between loneliness and increased anxiety levels.
• Suicidal ideation:Individuals experiencing significant loneliness may be more likely to consider or attempt suicide.
• Low self-esteem:A lack of social connection can negatively impact self-worth and confidence.
• Stress and poor coping mechanisms:Loneliness can lead to difficulties managing stress and unhealthy coping behaviors.

Key physical health problems associated with loneliness:

• Cardiovascular disease:Research indicates a link between loneliness and higher risk of heart disease and stroke due to potential impacts on blood pressure and inflammation.
• Impaired immune function:Studies suggest social isolation can weaken the immune system, making individuals more susceptible to illness.
• Cognitive decline:Loneliness is associated with an increased risk of developing dementia and cognitive impairment, particularly in older adults.
• Poor sleep quality:Difficulty sleeping and disrupted sleep patterns are often reported by lonely individuals.
• Unhealthy lifestyle behaviors:Loneliness can contribute to poor dietary choices, lack of physical activity, and increased subs

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.