In France, domestic club football has returned after a long vacation due to the pandemic but Paris St. Germain, fresh off falling short of Champions League glory, are hungover. Maybe they didn't have enough time off, they are still nursing their wounds or still recovering from a wave of Covid infections but they are not lighting the league on fire at the moment. Which makes this a perfect time for Le Classique, a fiery rivalry between Marseille, a club that lacks the talent to match PSG on the pitch but make up for it with an abundance of assholery. The game lacked goals but made up for it with the best scrape you'll see in any of the major European leagues. 5 Red Cards, spit and a racism claim later, Neymar was suspended for two games and Marseille got all 3 points at the Parc des Princes for the first time in nine years.

The Premier League is also underway and Jose Mourinho's resting bitch face is already in peak form. He seems underwhelmed despite the investment in new talent and could already be losing the locker room. The guys take a look at the Maturing Bros and try to predict when the inevitable implosion begins. They also look at the rest of the league after the first few matches and determine which clubs are forreal at the top half of the table.

Gareth Bale, fresh off of an excellent year of golfing and hair maintenance in Madrid has returned to the Premier League. Back to Tottenham on a season long loan, the club where he became a superstar not so long ago. The Spurs hope that this move propels them back to the top of the league while Bale gets to put the drama with him and Real Madrid behind and get back to balling. With his return from injury in the coming days we'll all find out if this was genius move by the Spurs brass or if this is the beginning of the end for Bale and Jose.

Elsewhere, Covid 19 is still undefeated as it claims the USMNT friendlies and the Ginger Zombie. Luis Suarez proves he's the ultimate scumbag by trying to cheat on the Italian citizenship test, Neymar spurns Nike for Puma and Mario finds an early favorite for Golazo of the year, on The Set Piece.