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The latest tape starts with caps. Specifically, hat inventory. Apparently, the King of Canada (real or dream-based, unclear) has advised the residents to prepare for winter with new ice scraper-equipped toques. From there, it veers.

There’s mention of a new goldfish-based restaurant called Fish Each—the name refers to a strict one-fish-per-person policy and modelled after Red Lobster or Red Monster as Hat Guy calls it.

Later, a moving truck that doesn’t move needs to be moved, which leads to a plan involving six people and a collection of wooden spools. Caleb is sent on a water run—literally. They believe the faster he runs, the warmer the water gets. Friction, they say. Science, they add. It’s difficult to follow.

There's a lot of discussion, some of it almost rational. By the end of the tape I'm desperate to speak to somebody who does not have a Wile E. Coyote grip on physics.

Also: diced pimentos in Coca-Cola. I don't know what Steven is listening to in the other room but it sounds like spliced together bits of old TV broadcasts from the 1940's era.

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This one kicks off like a 1940s social hygiene film before it collapses into a tale of unstable real estate, gravy-based adhesives, and existential architecture. Hat Guy shares a nursery rhyme, forgets how houses work, and constructs a two-bedroom, zero-bed home entirely out of playing cards. No one moves in. Fortunately.

Elsewhere, Hat Guy may be opening a business, launching a sport, or reinventing the economy—it’s hard to say, because halfway through his pitch, Steven interrupts to explode the dirty dishes. What begins as a plan to trade acorn tops for bottoms quickly mutates into a golf range proposal. A logical move for a town shaped like a ribbon and barely wider than a canoe.

There’s confusion. There’s paste. There’s “decoupage,” which immediately gets added to the official list of Bootstuck’s six Big Words. Also, we finally learn the town's exact dimensions: 6,000 feet long by 30 feet wide. Suitable as a runway—but what, exactly, is landing here?

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The Bootstuck tape machine coughs up another bewildering recording featuring a long, one-sided voicemail, a heated discussion about boot buckles, and a serious deep dive into gravy economics. The townsfolk debate the practical dangers of decorative footwear, the true purpose of a “gravy boat,” and whether Canadian Tire money can be legally used when the nearest Canadian Tire is 400 miles away. Meanwhile, we meet Luke Warm (from Yonder), who apparently measures up at six acorns taller than most. Bootstuck’s logic remains circular, its traditions questionable, and its gravy—plentiful.

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