Coming out is a profound and pivotal moment in any queer person’s journey. And coming out to parents, specifically, can prove to be particularly challenging, to say the least. Obviously your parents political, religious, and cultural beliefs play into this, and telling them that ayou’re part of the lgbtq+ community can be received with a wide range of reactions from love, joy, and celebration to heartbreaking rejection, shame, and in the worst cases, disowning. I am incredibly grateful that I never had to deal with the latter - but I also can’t say I was met with joy and celebration when I first came out to my mom 10 years ago. 

There was a lot of fear initially for my mom - fear that my life would be harder because I was bisexual. Fear of the unknown, you know there was a lot that she didn’t know and didn’t understand. But in the last 10 years - and even really just in the last 2 years - my mom has come so far in her evolution as an ally - so much so that she participates in TikToks on my very queer-focused TikTok - at whits_tiks - and has even watched The L Word. Yes, my watched the L Word. She’s also stepped into her allyship in other ways, such as wearing rainbow and ally-related shirts and accessories like pins and sticker for her water bottle. So today, I’m having a conversation with my mom - 10 years almost to the day since coming out - to discuss how she got from point A to point B.

2:45 - revisiting my coming out moment (we remember it VERY differently lol)

7:00 - my mom’s initial HONEST feelings about me being bi

10:35 - I ask my mom if she ever suspected I wasn’t straight growing up 

16:14 - my mom discusses her experience with, and view of, queerness growing up in the 60s and 70s

23:18 - "live and let live" - my mom discusses her view of queerness throughout her adult life prior to me coming out when she was 50 

25:25 - the grief process some parents experience when their kids come out (grieving the vision they had) 

27:00 - my mom talks about ending friendships with people who don’t accept my queerness 

32:14 - “there’s something very gay about homophobia” 

36:35 - my mom speaks on the expedited growth she's undergone as an ally just in the last two years 

38:40 - asking my mom if she has any lingering fears or worries about me potentially ending up with someone who's not a man

41:40 - my mom speaks on what helped her get to a place of peace with it all

43:40 - my mom watched the L Word and it changed her life lol 

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1 in 3 U.S. adults ages 18-34 years old live in their parents' home as of 2021, according to data collected by the U.S. Census Bureau.

As a 33-year-old who just moved back home a month ago, I’m one of them. I want to talk about this topic, because, for many in this situation, there is a lot of shame. And essentially, I think that's dumb lol.

3:05 - my TikTok (on @whits_tiks) about living at home with parents that went semi-viral with over a thousand comments of folks in the same situation

6:00 - "I didn't want to show my face ... I felt like such a loser."

6:28 - how I ended up moving back in with my parents at 33

12:45 - reasons people move back in with their parents in their 30s

15:40 - different views of living with parents outside the U.S.

17:00 - unique struggles millennials have faced whilst trying to become well-adjusted adults

20:18 - the silver living / positives of living at home with parents

24:12 - let go of the shame and replace it with gratitude

**PODCAST INSTAGRAM IS NOW @thewhitneyyoungpodcast**

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I am one of the lost girls - the generation of women with ADHD who were missed, misdiagnosed with things like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, etc. - or worse yet, had their symptoms attributed to, and conflated with, their personality - like “that’s just Whitney” (and not in a flattering way). Those of us who had our disability and/or limitations framed as a personal failing. 

You might be one of the lost girls like me - or maybe your daughter, your mom, sister, wife, or friend is a lost girl. We are the women who lived far longer than we should have - often decades - with undiagnosed, unmanaged, and altogether untreated ADHD. For me, the experience of being undiagnosed led to years of confusion, chaos, feeling misunderstood, and low self-esteem stemming from the belief that we were just broken or defective, because there was no disorder to attribute our behavior, emotions, difficulties, and disability to. 

I finally got my official diagnosis six months ago at the age of 32. In this episode, I’d like to share my story with you in hopes that it helps you in some way - even if it simply lets you know you're not alone.

2:40 - ADHD stereotypes I don't fit (which delayed seeking diagnosis)

12:10 - the ADHD iceberg

16:25 - my ADHD assessment and diagnosis

21:48 - ways I handle the grief that comes with diagnosis and how to move forward in healing and thriving

27:30 - online ADHD resources & social media accounts I follow

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