You can't give in to the fear, because healing won't happen.

Susan Snow is a speaker, coach, and author of the book “The Other Side of the Gun”.

Susan describes the overwhelming shock she felt when her father - a Los Angeles detective - got ambushed and shot in front of her brother’s school on Halloween. Her world was painted black and her young teenage life was thrust into a world of pain and loss. The trauma of losing a parent in such a violent manner created deep psychological scars, affecting her relationships and her sense of security.

This tragic event set the stage for her lifelong struggle with PTSD, a condition that would go undiagnosed for years. She openly speaks about the nightmares, anxiety, and flashbacks that haunted her daily life, and how these symptoms were often misunderstood by those around her. The lack of understanding and support only compounded her sense of isolation, making it even harder for her to find a path to healing.

One more school shooting was the pivotal moment when she began her healing journey. Through therapy, she started to unpack the layers of grief and trauma. Susan talks about the coping mechanisms she developed, such as mindfulness and self-care practices, which helped her regain control of her life.

Her journey was not easy, but Susan found strength in her vulnerability. She began to advocate for mental health awareness, using her story to help others struggling with similar issues.

Notes:
👨‍👧 Susan’s father was killed in a drive-by shooting at her brother’s school in 1985: when Susan was only 17. 02:05
☹️ Living with unaddressed trauma: struggling with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts without knowing how to deal with them. 08:15
👮‍♂️ Thomas C Williams was a great dad, very present in his relationship with his daughter: Susan’s abandonment issues; her shattered her sense of safety. 11:23
👨‍⚕️ Mom’s self-sabotaging approach to coping with trauma and grief: starting generic therapy paid for by the LAPD. 14:22
🕶️ Susan’s rose-colored glasses shattered: moving to Colorado and being triggered by a school shooting. 19:29
🤯 Her first real therapist realized instantly she had PTSD. 22:54.
✍️ Insomnia, and being terrified of sleeping: therapy, journaling and breathing work. 27:47
🤗 Embracing vulnerability in her life and her book: not giving in to the fears. 32:26
⚡ Everyone has trauma, and many fear vulnerability: healing is a way to reclaim your power. 36:10
💜 Give yourself grace when you don’t have it: healing your younger self and validating yourself. 40:30

Links:

Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BRYXZKY2

Website: www.SusanSnowSpeaks.com

Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims

Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims:calendly.com/bonnie-96

“Therapy was like a big warm hug... It was cathartic and freeing. I wish I had these tools years ago. Having somebody to talk to who wasn’t a friend or family member... It was invaluable."

Gretchen Shoser, also known as G Rex, is a mental health advocate and co-host of the podcast ”Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads”. Gretchen shares her journey of a severe mental health crisis on Christmas Day 2022, which led her to call 988 for help. This experience, combined with therapy and sharing her story on social media, helped her find support and heal.

Finding hope despite feeling overwhelmed and being close to suicide is something Gretchen lived by. She explains how thinking about her loved ones and future possibilities helped her reach out for help. The role of therapy in providing tools, support, and a safe space for expression is huge. The importance of finding the right therapist and the profound impact therapy has had on Gretchen’s life, including dealing with negative self-talk and emotional healing. The negative self-talk is very powerful, but Gretchen didn’t fully understand its extent until she started therapy.

Finding hope and love is possible, just reach out.

Notes:
😇 Becoming a mental health advocate after a serious breakdown in 2022: being terrified and on the edge of suicide. 02:26
😩 Being really scared and calling 988: what if this is not working, what about my loved ones? 5:55
😭 Cathartic tears and findings during the therapy: three types of therapies Gretchen is practicing. 08:47
🆚 “Go find your Happy” vs blockage: Gretchen’s bad self-talk and not being able to find her voice. 13:22
🛋️ Being 18 months in therapy and having tools for changing issues that appear: helping other people through a podcast. 18:38
🎙️ Laughing therapy and creating a podcast: sharing stories with people about their mental health journey. 21:05
🌞 Getting out of the shadows: shame came out when therapy started and people left Gretchen when she started sharing her story. 26:07
🙅‍♀️ Boundaries is not just saying no: three questions Gretchen asks herself. 27:47
🕵️‍♀️ Figure out patterns other people are pushing towards you: taking care of yourself and not being a people pleaser. 32:07
🧒 Let your inner child come out at least once a day: Gretchen is happy to be alive. 35:04
✍️ The power of journaling for Gretchen: routine with five new tools she learned in therapy. 39:24
🤗 Self-care is a decision to care for yourself: you are worth of it - find your joy and connection to yourself. 46:29
🩷 Don’t compare yourself to others. 47:49

Links:

Connect www.linkedin.com/in/gaschoser

Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/1KWbjOUrCd26BksvczVdkK

Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims

Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims:calendly.com/bonnie-96

**Trigger Warning: Suicide**

The following content discusses topics related to suicide. This may be distressing or triggering for some individuals. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please seek help from a mental health professional or contact a crisis hotline immediately.

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Sharing creates a community and an environment where people don't feel judged.

Lisa Sugarman is an author, syndicated columnist, three-time survivor of loss from suicide. She’s also a storyteller with NAMI, and a crisis counselor with the Trevor Project. Lisa shares her personal story of losing her father, cousin, and childhood friend. Lisa didn't know her father had taken his life until she was 45, the same age he was when he died. The specific kind of grief she experienced prompted Lisa to learn all she could about mental health and share her experiences to help others.

While Lisa is an empath and a highly sensitive person, her work as a counselor in Lifeline is not negatively affecting her. Rather, it has empowered her more! Lisa shares tips on how to deal with people in crisis and how to help them manage the tough feelings they’re experiencing.

The decision to take one’s life stems from horrible suffering, often endured silently. Listening to people’s stories, doing all you can to understand them, and holding a safe space to express their problems can help tremendously.

It’s so important to bring uncomfortable subjects to the surface and into the mainstream so we can normalize conversations around mental illness, suicide, and crisis.

Show notes:
☹️ Lisa is a Crisis counselor: she lost her father, cousin, and childhood friend to suicide. 01:47
🤩 Storytelling, writing, and being a listener to help suicidal people. 03:18
⚠️ Understanding the power of sharing your story as a suicide loss survivor: suicide loss is a specific kind of trauma. 07:07
👂 There is no fix for grief but holding space gives empowerment. 11:03
😭 The way Lisa found out her dad took his life: the different kind of grief. 12:35
👩‍👧 Mother’s protection and family dynamics after the suicide. 15:43
🦸 Crisis counselors are unsung heroes: meeting people in their most raw realness. 20:23
🗣️ Using blunt language with a person who is in pain or potentially suicidal. 24:04
☎️ Lifelines are needed for every crisis and should be used regularly: call 988. 29:40
🌺 Lisa creates short videos and writes the column We Are Who We Are: creating recourses and making them available for everyone. 32:18.

Links:

Website: www.lisasugarman.com

Connect with Lisa: www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-sugarman-she-her-hers-16925b69
Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims

Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims:calendly.com/bonnie-96