A Mother & Daughter's Adoption Journey

Chavie and Shoshana begin with an account of Shoshana's challenging childhood before she found a fresh start with the Bruk family in Bozeman, Montana. Shoshana shares what it was like to be the eldest of her new siblings while integrating into an observant Jewish household and community. Wanting to fully commit, she attended an all-girls Chassidic boarding school, only to find herself feeling alienated from that environment. Chavie discusses the impossible choices she faced in addressing Shoshana's subsequent mental health struggles as a teenager and the impact it had on their new mother-daughter relationship, which she was so committed to cultivating. The episode concludes with an honest and sometimes comedic reflection on where their relationship stands today, and the love and respect at the core of it all. Shoshana also shares where she stands today in her Jewish identity and her message for girls and women who may be experiencing similar challenges.

Please note: This episode contains numerous references to abuse, self-harm, and other challenging mental health issues.

Shoshana Bruk is the eldest of the five Bruk children. She is a junior at Montana State University and looks forward to pursuing a degree in forensics, law enforcement, and criminology. Her parents, Rabbi Chaim and Chavie Bruk, are the directors of Chabad-Lubavitch of Montana. After a crushing diagnosis of permanent infertility, the Bruks chose to adopt five children. At the time considered taboo in the Orthodox Jewish community, the Bruks have become outspoken advocates for adoption and for removing the stigma around physical and mental health challenges that each of their children face.

This Week's Q&A

• Would you ever move out of Montana?
• Why isn’t adoption more common in the Orthodox Jewish community?
• How do you have time to take on such a big project like a podcast?

Stay in Touch with Chavie!

www.instagram.com/chaviebruk

www.totallyunexpected.blog

Sponsors

This episode is sponsored by dear friends dedicating it to the Bruk children: Shoshana, Chaya, Zeesy, Menny, and Chana Leah. Also in recognition of a new book titled Letters for Life: Guidance for Emotional Wellness from the Lubavitcher Rebbe by Levi Y. Shmotkin.

Does Astrology Align With Traditional Judaism?

In this episode, Mendel tells Chavie about his first encounter with astrology on a random night in Brooklyn. A man read his chart and he was fascinated by how accurate the reading was. That set him on a journey to learn everything he could about astrology and the human psyche. Mendel also shares about how he became interested in farming as a young boy in Israel. He decided to turn his dream of farming into a reality, and to revive the ancient Jewish agricultural heritage. He and his wife, Chana, moved to Maui where they established a kosher farm and welcome visitors far and wide to their life on the land. Mendel performs a live reading of Chavie's astrological chart, delving into her personality and the insights it reveals. He shares how astrology, combined with curiosity about ourselves and others, can help overcome interpersonal challenges and lead to a more satisfying life.

Mendel was born in Israel to Shluchim of the Rebbe and is one of eleven children. He is an ordained rabbi and shochet with a degree in economics. Together with his wife, Chana, he lives on a macadamia nut farm in Wailuku, Hawaii, nestled in the jungles of the West Maui Mountains. They have created a Chassidishe farm and lighthouse surrounded by mango trees, banana groves, avocado, and coffee. In addition to raising goats, sheep, chickens, ducks, geese, quails, and tilapia, they are leaders of the Jewish community and provide kosher food and experiences for locals and tourists.

This Week's Q&A's

1. How did Chavie & Chaim meet?

2. Any tips on connecting to my Jewish identity?

3. How do you juggle being so busy?

References & Resources

Mendel & Chana's Kosher Farm in Maui

www.mauikosherfarm.com

Stay in Touch with Mendel!

www.instagram.com/mauikosherfarm

Stay in Touch with Chavie!

https://www.instagram.com/chaviebruk/

https://www.totallyunexpected.blog/

This episode is sponsored by an anonymous fan of the show.

For sponsorship or advertising opportunities you can reach out to Chavie on Instagram or at chavie@jewishmontana.com.

Chavie and Chana begin by connecting over their shared Chicago connection and their mutual appreciation for living in the mountains. Chana shares how she immediately felt at home in Tzfat, Israel after attending seminary there. They also bond over embracing a variety of personal and professional talents, rather than conforming to societal expectations of sticking to a single lifetime career path. Chana then gives a detailed, minute-by-minute account of the events of October 7th and its aftermath. Chana talks about the lasting trauma her children have experienced after a year of daily bombardments by Hezbollah. They then discuss whether the Jews in the Diaspora community can really relate to what Israelis are going through. Chana emphasizes the importance of acknowledging the evil around them while still cherishing the untarnished joy of the holidays.

Chana Traxler is the Education Director at Machon Alta Women’s Yeshiva and the Programs and Extra Curricular Coordinator at Seminary Chaya Mushka in Tzfat, Israel. She and her husband, Rabbi Zalman Traxler, are the founders and directors of the Artist Quarter Minyan, a dynamic community for the English speaking community of Tzfat. She is mother to six beautiful children and originally from Chicago, Illinois.

This Week’s Q&As:

Q #1: How do I let go of the hurt of my only sister?

Q #2: How do you make time for therapy?

Q # 3: How does mind body healing work and is it a real thing?

References & Resources

Chana & Zalman’s Artist Quarter Minyan

www.artistquarterminyan.com

Stay in Touch with Chana!

https://www.instagram.com/chana_traxler/

Stay in Touch with Chavie!

https://www.instagram.com/chaviebruk/

https://www.totallyunexpected.blog/

This episode is sponsored by Simpo Travel, www.simpotravel.com, & Benz’s Fish, www.benzfish.com.

Chavie and Elisheva begin by discussing the challenges and benefits of creating free content on social media. Elisheva shares how her love for words started at a young age and how she always aspired to be a therapist. She eventually specialized in relationships and sexuality after noticing that very few were addressing this topic within the Orthodox Jewish community. They also highlight the importance of normalizing biologically accurate language around body parts and intimacy. They then talk about the need to maintain the spectrum of our “systems” and values while also evolving in order to foster healthier societies and avoid the pitfalls of secrecy and shame.

Elisheva Liss is a licensed marriage and family therapist in the New York area. She works with individuals and couples to help improve their quality of life and relationships. The most common issues she treats are depression, anxiety, sexual, and relationship challenges.

1. How do you not get stressed preparing for the holidays and how do you make time for yourself to learn and pray?
2. What is your advice for someone navigating a new infertility diagnoses?
3. How do you handle the triggers and insecurities your child brings our in you?

Sacred not Secret

The Schmoozeletter!

Elisheva’s Book

The Intimacy Building Exercise

Mentioned: Dr. Brene Brown, Dr. Yocheved Debow, Sara Diamond

Elisheva's Instagram

Elisheva's Website

Chavie's Instagram

Totally Unexpected! Blog

This episode is sponsored by Hasofer, www.esofer.com.

Sara Miriam Smith has a master's degree in special education and is the author of, "Are You My Mother?" Chavie and Sara Miriam talk about how they met on social media and then became friends in real-life. They discuss how hard parenting is and that instead of beating ourselves up when we make mistakes, we should believe in "our own goodness." Then, Chavie and Sara Miriam dive deep into Sara Miriam's journey with loss, grief, and her relationship with G-D. Sara Miriam talks about her "coffee dates" with G-D and how she felt His presence even in her lowest moments.

Q&A's this Week:

1. How to find the right therapist?

2. How to overcome guilt when kids aren't Torah appreciative?

3. Does Chavie have cleaning help?

About Sara Miriam Smith

Sara Miriam is a mom to five and is no stranger to all things messy. While getting her masters degree in Special Education, she became fascinated in the crucial role sensory play takes in child development. Things turned personal when one of her children struggled with sensory processing difficulties and received an ADHD diagnosis. She started incorporating sensory materials into her everyday life and saw incredible advances in her child's emotional and physical development and overall comfort. Sensory play has since become a staple at home as a way to play, connect, and have fun!

Sensory Kits https://www.inbetweenthetantrums.com/collections/all

My Friend ADHD https://a.co/d/j5PAlgi

Are You My Mother https://a.co/d/0qAfBzX

Website https://www.inbetweenthetantrums.com/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/in_between_thetantrums/

This episode is sponsored by www.project6nykids.com.

I love people and I love hearing their stories. I want to know who they are, how they got there, what didn’t go as expected, and what they did about it. That passion and curiosity led me to create “Totally Unexpected!” I've had my own fair share of unexpected twists and turns; a permanent infertility diagnoses, five adopted children with varying degrees of challenges, and co-directing Chabad-Lubavitch of Montana with my husband. I embrace all these parts of who I am, as challenging as that is sometimes, and that's how I am able to thrive through it all.

I will be releasing episodes every other Monday, featuring interviews with people who inspire me. There will also be a Q&A segment to address questions and topics that you guys want me to talk to about. Look out for the prompt in my Insta stories and go crazy!