We are whole beings,

still when we are healing and in need of support we are all of those other things we have always been.

When healing it’s easy to feel disempowered though. To feel stuck, needy, helpless, misunderstood, lonely, insecure. Often because people start feeling sorry for us, sympathize, look down on us, try to fix us.

Our need for support, empathy and compassion makes people uncomfortable. They don’t know how to handle our feelings, our situation and so they become rescuers, trying to fix us. Bring us out of our situation by telling us what to do and not.

Instead of listening, people tell and push their knowledge and truths on you. You become the victim. The helpless person in need of help.

People stop believing you are capable of taking care of yourself, or doing stuff, so they are annoyed. Find you needy. They become the perpetrator critiquing you.

Both the rescuer and perpetrator enabling/ creating exactly what they dislike in you; your helplessness.

You stop believing in your abilities, become insecure and think that you truly need others. That you are helpless. That you cannot trust yourself.

When needing help this truly happened to me. I totally lost my abilities while convincing NAV that I needed support healing trauma.

Suddently I didn’t believe in myself. I went from being a person really capable of making things happen, into not trusting myself at all.

What if we can get support and believe in ourselves at the same time?

The difference between sympathy (looking down at people) and empathy (still believing in people’s capability of taking care of themselves) is crucial in a healing journey.

I am ready to share my story.

Xoxo

Therese Fallentin