Boy oh Boy, after taking off more than a year we're back. This is mostly Kyle's fault, as this episode has been sitting on the hard drives since 2018! Holy shit. 

You wouldn't guess it though, time is truly a flat circle. Only a few things give away the time disparity, and that is we are talking about old failures of Keith. If you keep up with the YouTube show, you'd know that Keith is no longer in Boston, but now confined to Florida. So his parents are not truly as disappointed as they once were. 

We talk about a dead script about Dracula this time. Enjoy!

Money Hell, incipient failure redux, thousands of Achewood references, nerve tonic, Nick calls Keith a goofball, Kyle earnestly researches how to make someone a ward of the state. Revenge of Dick Turnip: Telemonsters an oddly prophetic autobiographical skit about phone-powered beings of darkness.

Kyle abortive second script idea really terminates the episode on a new nadir threshold

An austere, godless sky, the elegiac tatters of a world that once knew hope but will no longer, only charred desolation to greet the eye for as far as one might care to look if only their gaze would be rent from the teeming doom written in the very soil, blighted and forskaen by the processes of life. Above it all, the telltale insignia of man’s own decisive vindication of his eviction from the Garden: It reads, simply, ‘Marge for President.’

The fellows muse once again on Keith’s impending and uncertain fate, where once a human soul did stir and yearn for warmth, now there is naught but a receding hall of mirrors, at center of which is a sepulcher-like recess in which is found only a melting simulacrum of humanity. It cannot bear your touch, so don’t even try. After that, most of the rest of the episode languishes in the depths of an interminable discussion about insects and the cruel pranks of nature which their existence constitutes. The term “semen icepick” is evoked. Kyle later has occasion to regale us with the sordid account of a Florida man’s brush with genius. He also has occasion to boat about his call to The Dick Show and his most public sharing of a horrific fun fact to date.

As for this month’s mummified script:

Nick takes us through the febrile ramblings of a script meant to be a one year anniversary video for Mom, Can I Have Another Dollar? It, as is so typical of Trouble Planet scripts, leads to an all-consuming conflagration and a casual suicide attempt.

We marshall the extent of our literary reference library to bring you the clearest possible articulation of our narrative approach, best summed up as being akin to a sort of despairing anti-Bob Ross making a portrait of “sad big trees” within our “cycles within cycles” narrative structure. In time hopefully there will be hours-long tedious exegesis on the artful approach to wrongness that we are herein pioneering.

Keith’s incipient movie making career may already be showing signs of terminal decline! Kyle sold his cameras for food scraps! And Nick is so preoccupied with dishes that he can’t easily produce footage for our (still not abandoned!) Maximum Bad “pilot.” Beats being compared to a tarantula hawk!

After a brief update on the ongoing ignominy that is Maximum Bad, we move on to this month’s abandoned idea baby: A bleak bit of gallows comedy called Apocalypse Calendar. How would Kyle and Nick cope with a world where food is scarcer than pornographic calendars?! The answer will surprise nobody.

Originally recorded March 2018

As you might be able to surmise through the powers of basic critical thinking, this podcast is not being aired live. However, Kyle did discover some interesting geographical tidbits, and Keith burrowed out of the earth like the cicada arising after years of slumber to provide even further excessive insight into the the game of Dick Slap© that is our collective human culture. We find that The Industry has been kind to our boys, if only to deeper sink in the hooks of a long con.Speaking of the successful production of visual media, we land on another abortive project which the Trouble Planet gang will likely never be able to see through to fruition: police trying to put the legal screws to an uncooperative magician. Hear all their “woe is me” caterwauling on this installment of the Trouble Planet Podcast!

Originally recorded in March 2018

In this Episode 14, Keith is recording indoors for a change of pace, and has someone who is interrupting him every so often. It does lead us into interesting avenues of comedy that we don't explore very often. That is, listening to the sound effect suggestions on Keith's behalf. We kind of go nuts with the concept, so be prepared to not hear this extent of craziness ever again. 

We talk about what's going on with MCIHAD, and we talk abut what's in the future for Trouble Planet, and hint a bit at our up coming stuff "Maximum Bad". Then we talk about an old failed script idea "Hypnotized to Honk". Maybe we can actually start making some of these scripts since we're on a little break from MCIHAD? Probably not. It was doomed for a reason. 

Originally recorded January 2018

We tried to generate filler content for in-between our let’s play sessions. ‘Tried’ being the operative word. Also… ‘tired.’ The other operative word for the month is “fuckboy.” This month’s script is an unused “tour of my brain” parody video, as well as a thing about cowboys murdering one another over a long span of time.