***We are aware the audio quality of this episode is terrible. It is what it is.***

This is the episode that started it all. We met up for coffee for one of our usual amazing conversations, and decided to put my phone on the table to record the whole thing, to see if we could pull off something podcast-like.

Production-wise? Hard no.

Content-wise? Hell yeah.

If you're able to churn through this one, head to S1E1 and listen to us debrief this very recording, sometimes even playing back parts of it to discuss in further detail.

And in silence. 

With decent microphones.

Enjoy! Or don't. That's your business.

Abby & Ryan

TIME CODES:
12:00 - Is it lazy to not do the rounds? Or is it self care?
14:00 - Abby says Ryan needs to have compassion for himself

16:20 - Ryan bullies himself into doing what he needs to do. Self imposed rigid structure
18:45 - Ryan gives example of time his bosses had a conversation with him that could have been troublesome, but I stayed in my business and recognized the comedy. I had no need for them to see my side of the story
23:40 - Abby: What did you do to be able to do that?
24:00 - Ryan: I stood up for myself in my marriage, and whatever it took for me to work up the ability to do that, poured into everything
25:45 - Ryan: I gave myself permission to be what I am apart from what they are.
26:30 - Ryan: The boundary I was looking for was where I end and the world begins.
27:30 - Abby: You got out of your own way and started staying in your business.

28:28 - Abby’s hysterectomy idea

31:00 - Ryan’s peeing in car story

34:30 - Abby talks about the lizard brain
36:15 - Ryan’s work example, filtered through that lens

38:45 - Life is practice
42:45 - Your body is your brain
45:00 - We don’t fault people for not having learned this - it took me 11 years of marriage

46:00 - Ryan doesn’t think he has empathy
48:00 - Abby and Ryan talk about moving forward toward growth and their fears of going back

58:00 - Standing up for yourself

59:45 - Wet hair

1:03:00 - Woke people recognize woke people, but stay with the muck people

1:08:00 - Muck people

1:15:00 -  Compassion vs growth
1:20:00 - Ryan’s dad was never satisfied with his own growth

1:27:45 - Social norms around complements. I SEE YOU HUMAN, social norms

Bathroom Breaks

1:43:36 - Living in your truth can attract attention

1:50:00 - We name the podcast

🥔🌊🦃🎵🚤🦴

Abby & Ryan debrief the entire 83-episode run of the True North Podcast, and then send each other off with gratitude, love, and a splash of nostalgic sadness.
 
 Seriously. Thank you all. Thank you for being on this journey with us, for watching us grow, and growing alongside us. We added the "with Abby & Ryan" to the title so that you could find our podcast amidst all the other "True North" podcasts out there, but really, it's always been with Abby, Ryan, and YOU. So thank ya for bein' there, thank ya for lovin' us.
 
 With Gratitude,
 Abby & Ryan
 
 Also, RYAN WROTE A BOOK!!!
 Gummy Bears for the Soul: A Collection of Life Lessons That Are Easy to Swallow But Hard to Digest as Told Through A Cacophony of Stories About My Dad That Are Definitely All True*

Launch Party link (available until 11:59pm CST March 20, 2022):
 https://forms.gle/8ZujaeYnuGW5rnEFA
 
TIME CODES:
4:37 - Our favorite episodes
14:54 - Our biggest takeaways
30:47 - Our most cringeworthy moments
38:09 - What surprised us the most
41:32 - What we'll fill this time with now
51:10 - What we'll do next
 
GRATITUDES:

• Abby is grateful that Ryan said "yes" to the podcast, and for doing everything he did to make it happen and keep it going.
• Ryan is grateful that Abby said "yes" to meeting every morning to read the Bible together when they worked at the Y.

 MODEETS:

• Join Ryan's tribe at patreon.com/truenorth11
• Get life coaching from Abby at IndigoCoaching.net
• Catch Ryan on TikTok at @the_holistic_mystic
• Watch us at TinyURL.com/TrueNorth11YouTube
• Stalk us at truenorth11.com

🐝🤦‍♂️✨🍑✨🤷‍♀️

Ryan is a second-born middle child. Anyone who puts stock in birth order dynamics just learned a lot about Ryan from those two pieces of information.

In this episode, we interview his older brother Brandon, who has lived in Japan for the past several years. We start by discussing the differences between American and Japanese culture, and what it was like to pack up their entire lives into 16 bags and move across the ocean.

"I am a specific person. I have specific gifts and abilities that are unique to me, and I also have limitations that are also unique to me, and this does not detract from who I am as a person or the types of things that I can hope for. But it does mean that I need to be able to be realistic about the times that I can help and the times that I can't. Because if I can't be realistic about that, then I'll hamstring the impact that I could be making, in favor of the impact that I can't make. So in the end it became a process of, 'Let's not make it anything; let's just see it.' "

"People use their head to establish the direction and their heart for the method, when really it should be the other way around."

"It's not about understanding the truth; it's about understanding your place within it."

"You're looking to your insecurity voice for validation, when you should be looking to it for growth imperatives. It's not telling you wrong, you're listening wrong."

"We want people to get to know us, not contextualize us."

"I don't have to understand why they do what they do, to accept that that's what they do."

TIME CODES:
5:30 - Downsizing life
12:11 - Getting our dad back
17:26 - Father wounds and childcare workers
27:12 - The tension between our desire to help and the limits of our helpfulness
41:51 - Japan Brandon vs. America Brandon
45:01 - Addressing the problem vs. solving the problem
59:00 - Feeling like a foreigner in your own land

GRATITUDES:

• Brandon is grateful that his collection of hard-earned life lessons can and will be passed down to his kids as just the way the world works.
• Abby is grateful for the roles Ryan and Brandon have played in her own self-actualization journey.
• Ryan is grateful for his brother for modeling what it looks like to "run his lap" of parenthood.

  MODEETS:

• Join Ryan's tribe at patreon.com/truenorth11
• Get life coaching from Abby at IndigoCoaching.net
• Catch Ryan on TikTok at @the_holistic_mystic
• Watch us at TinyURL.com/TrueNorth11YouTube
• Email us at hello@truenorth11.com
• Stalk us at truenorth11.com

🦴😬🎵🎁