We Need To Talk - My Story: When My Brain Said STOP

Before my TBI, hustling until 10 PM was normal. I believed rest was earned — not needed.

Then my brain collapsed.

This is the truth about Traumatic Brain Injury fatigue: why it’s not exhaustion, why ‘pushing through’ destroys me, and how my son’s recognition of my neurological crash (when others saw attitude) became proof I needed radical change.

Rest isn’t weakness, it’s survival."

📌Timestamps: - Unlearning Old Habits

00:00 - Introduction: The Rest Lies We Believe

"We need to talk about rest... What if everything you thought you knew about rest was actually keeping you from healing!”

01:15 - Unlearning: "Rest is Earned, Not Needed"

"The old me believed fatigue could be conquered with willpower... Society tells us productivity equals worth. My brain injury forced me to unlearn this."

03:15 - TBI Fatigue: What People Get WRONG

"It's NOT laziness. It's NOT exhaustion you can push through. My brain runs on 10% battery trying to run high demand programs. This is neurological NOT physiological.”

05:15 - My Reality: When Your Brain Short Circuits

"98% of TBI survivors experience one form of fatigue. It's a ripple effect: damaged areas force your brain to work harder, burning energy faster. Simple tasks become detours around collapsed bridges."

07:22 - Recognising the Crash: My Body's Shutdown Signals

"Squinting eyes... staring into nothingness... and the shutdown. This is 'pathological mental fatigue' my brain saying 'NO MORE.' On of my resets is my 1-4-2 breathing technique."

09:17 - The Breaking Point: New Year's Eve in LA

"Pushing through led to disaster: a plain flight, a party, a guessing game, and a neurological shutdown. Adults saw attitude; my son saw the crash. That night, I broke. The 'push-through' person had to die."

13:35 - Recovery Truth: Healing Isn't Linear

"Monday: conquer the world. Tuesday: crushed by a phone call. This isn't failure, it's your brain rebuilding. Your capacity changes daily. Work with it."

15:10 - Unlearning Urgency: Rest Can't Wait

"I had to stop scheduling rest like a meeting. When the crash comes, it doesn't care about your plans. Fighting it extends recovery. I learned to respond earlier.”

16:16 - My New Rest Rituals (Part 1): Micro-Resets

1. One-Minute Stillness Break: Stop. Breathe. Do nothing. Permission granted.
2. My 1-4-2 Breathing: Inhale (6s) → Pause || Hold (24s) → Exhale (12s). 10-20 reps until I un-crash….This resets your parasympathatic nervous system."

18:08 - My New Rest Rituals (Part 2): Body & Awareness

3. Heat || Cold Grounding: Ice cubes, cold water, hot (warm) shower to shock your system to focus.
4. Nervous System Journaling: Track body signals & triggers. Build your early warning system.

5. The Protection Question: 'What will resting NOW protect me from? And my answers to this question.

20:27 - Redefining Rest: It’s Not Just Sleep

"Silence. Closing your eyes for 5 minutes. Removing stimulation. Meditation || Yoga. Even gentle exercise builds stamina. Rest is active neurological care."

21:30 - For Loved Ones: How to Truly Support Us

"When we say we need rest: BELIEVE US. Don’t push 'one more game.' Help us find a quiet spot. This is medical selfcare for a chronic condition. A hug helps a lot too.”

24:00 - The Hope: Rest is Resistance

"Rest makes me STRONGER. I honour pre-crashes now. My peace matters more than your pace. To the 27 million new TBI survivors yearly:

You are not alone.

Your brain knows. Listen.

Join the conversation: #howsilencehelpedme #WeNeedToTalk #rest #realtalkunfiltered #TBI #InvisibleBattles #HealingJourney #TBISurvivor

To anyone fighting silent battles:

You are not your trauma.

Not your worst day.

You're the space where healing happens.

! Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional.

This is all my personal experience as I live with my TBI.

Keep dancing in the rain like nobody is watching.

Talk again soon.

"In this episode, I share the turning point in my TBI recovery when I realized that staying silent could actually protect my peace more than explaining ever could. I'll walk you through how brain injury changed my emotional responses, why my limbic system was stuck in overdrive, and how I learned to use 'down-regulation' as survival medicine.

From lightning fast reactions to intentional silence, from needing constant validation to finding peace within, this is the story of how I stopped burning out my energy trying to be understood and started protecting what matters most: my inner calm.

If you've ever felt exhausted from over-explaining yourself, if you struggle with emotional regulation, or if you're curious about the neuroscience behind choosing silence as strength, this episode is for you.

📌Timestamps:

00:00 - Opening/Topic Introduction - "We need to talk, talk about the moment I stopped defending myself and started choosing silence instead."

01:00 - Brain Injury Explanation Begins - "How could I stay silent when my T.B.I has taken control over my brain's ability to process thoughts, regulate emotions..."

03:04 - Left Temporal Lobe Impact - "My accident caused that my left temporal lobe got severely damaged." It's a survival of the brain encountering fear, confusion, frustration, uncertainty.

04:05 - The Early Struggles - "It felt like the left side of my body just stopped working while my right side wanted to survive. No tools and knowledge to help myself.

05:49 - 10-Year Journey - "Over the past ten years, I've had to figure out and find ways to accept and adapt."

07:16 - Healing Through Content Creation - "Making these video's and podcasts is so helpful for my healing."

08:26 - Instant Reactions Phase - "Acknowledging now that my reactions in the first 6-7 years after my TBI were instant, and as fast as lightning..."

09:37 - The Invisible Injury - "This is what living with a brain injury looks and feels like explained from my perspective."

10:52 - Not Recognising Pain Fear, Emotions- “It is so scary to not even recognise your own pain, fears and emotions, it is even scarier when you can’t see them in others”

12:36 - The Turning Point - "And that's where the answer to your question comes in. Choosing silence for me has never just been an emotional choice."

13:47 - Down Regulation Technique - "Later I found out this was clinically called 'down-regulation"

15:52 - Survival Medicine - "For me, a TBI survivor, this isn't just a calming technique. This is survival medicine."

18:05 - Taking Power Back - "By reclaiming the power within my internal space, helped me change."

19:48 - People's Reactions to Silence - "What I see happening around me now is, that people don't know how to handle my peaceful silence."

21:00 - Detachment vs Avoidance - "My silence isn't an avoidance of them. It's a detachment from them and reconnection to myself."

22:22 - Not Needing Understanding - "But that kind of peace doesn't come from being understood. It comes when you stop needing to be understood..."

24:11 - Being Careful vs Fearful - "I'm careful now. Careful who I trust, who im love and who I give my energy to.. don’t mistake Careful for Fearful."

25:35 - Final Message - "For all the listeners: just know that I finally know my worth, my values..." My silence is a choice.

27:04 - Closing - "Hope I didn't ramble too much... Keep dancing in the rain like nobody is watching."

Join the conversation: #howsilencehelpedme #WeNeedToTalk #liveingrace #realtalkunfiltered #TBIWarrior #InvisibleBattles #HealingJourney #TBISurvivor

To anyone fighting silent battles:

You are not your trauma.

Not your worst day.

You're the space where healing happens.

! Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional.

This is all my personal experience as I live with my TBI.

Grief, Love, and their Shattering Lessons…

I lost my father to cancer.

Then my mother, far too soon.

Then I lose the love I thought would last forever.

This isn’t just a story about loss, it’s about what happens when grief rewires your soul. How do you survive when the people who you loved so much are gone? When do you need to let go of the one who promised to always stay.

When even your brain betrays you, forgetting words but never their love.I’ll take you through the three losses that changed everything:

1. My Dad ~ The anchor who taught me how to lovingly say goodbye in 11 unforgettable days.

2. My Mom ~ The woman who showed me how forgiveness and grace is possible even as her body failed her, and how I became an orphan.

3. Her ~ The living soul I reach for in the dark still she isn’t there.

This is about the cruel math of grief: Missing them longer than you ever got to love them.

About abandonment that cuts deeper than death.

About fighting to reclaim your worth when loss tries to erase it.

Most of all It’s a wake-up call.

To you.

To love harder.

To hold tighter.

To stop assuming there’s always "later."

Trust me I’ve learned the hard way and the only thing worse than grief is regret.

If you’ve ever loved, lost, or feared losing someone… this is for you.

Listen, Feel and Heal 🤍

Love & light ...P

📌Timestamps:

00:00 - Seriously we need to talk : answering a Question that hit me hard and I needed to answer right away. “ What is the hardest part of loosing someone that you didn’t get enough time with”

01:13- Losing my father was one of the hardest and also most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt. We were there for him, he was there for us.

05:23 - Here is the part I don’t tolk about: The hardest part of grieving him is not loosing my father, it’s so much more.

07:23 - How my TBI hits me like a hamer in missing him. Grieve has no schedule, no mercy.

08:45 - The Hardest Part & the tears of missing him the time to grow with him, the loss of missing what could be.

09:17 - Loosing my mom was so different, pain on another level. loosing her made me an orphan, is so crazy and lonely like nothing I felt before.

12:56 - My mothers wisdom : forgiveness matters - opening your heart matters - letting people in matters, and regret is a luxury that not everybody get to avoid. She showed me to how to grow even while she was dying.

14:24 - How is I fair to loose them and never to get to watch our love unfold as an adult.

15:45 - Loosing my partner made me homeless. It’s a different kind of love, one you chose for. Losing that is a different kind of grief.

17:11 - Remembering and honouring NOT what went wrong, but what went RIGHT. Even though there is pain and grieving.

19:35 - This is the hardest moment, losing her in my hardest moment in life when I became a orphan. I was left with my TBI managing the loss on another demention then a normal person.

22:32 - Grieving someone thats still alive is like trying to touch fog. With death there is a spirit you can talk to and miss, with someone that is still alive feels like loving nothingness. It’s like talking to air.

24:14 - Grief taught me that nothing is promised. Real love is always worth it. Making memories on purpose is worth it. Live now and love now before it’s gone for good.

26:18 - Grief stole my self worth. Fighting to get that back every day. I'll never forget their love, it’s inside my soul and my body remembers, my hart knows.

Join the conversation: #WeNeedToTalk #liveingrace #realtalkunfiltered #TBIWarrior #InvisibleBattles #HealingJourney #Grief

To anyone fighting silent battles:

You are not your trauma.

Not your worst day.

You're the space where healing happens.

! Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional.

This is all my personal experience.