of weight!” While on one hand this comment is complimentary, on the other it feels insulting. Pay careful attention to what you’re actually saying and meaning and see if a simple, “You look great!” might bring a more powerful relationship-building result. Sarcasm. When used for looking at life’s irony, sarcasm serves a great role. However, in its other synonymous forms: mockery, cynicism, derision, it will surely contribute to harm in a relationship. Name-calling. This is clearly never a good idea in a relationship unless it’s a term of endearment like “Honey,” “Love,” or “Beautiful.” Even these names can be hurtful if used sarcastically. When in doubt, use the person’s name. Self-deprecation. While comedians have built entire careers on making self-deprecating jokes and laughing at themselves, you need to be mindful of when this is simply putting yourself down to beat your partner to the punch. Or, when it is giving others permission to make fun of you. Again, you will find taking responsibility for either making improvements or practicing self-acceptance to be a healthier path. “People say they want a sense of humor in a mate, but that’s a broad concept. That people think you are funny or you can make a joke out of anything is not strongly related to relationship satisfaction.”What is strongly related to relationship satisfaction is the humor that couples create together.” ~A researcher from the University of Kansas Jeffrey Hall When the essence of jokes contains pure intentions, the kindness of our hearts, and the consciousness of our words.....the better results we will get out of our jokes.

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