A Dead-End Job Mystery

When unlikely sleuth Helen Hawthorne flees St. Louis, she fetches up in Fort Lauderdale, suddenly surrounded by the beautiful and the Botoxed. They all shop at the same place — Juliana’s, the overpriced boutique where Helen works. And they’re all looking for a wealthy wise guy to take to the cleaners.

Helen Hawthorne is still on the run because of her refusal to pay her worthless ex-husband alimony. But a girl’s gotta eat...and pay rent, utilities, etc. So she’s taken a cash-paying job at Fort Lauderdale’s own Page Turners bookstore. And while the job is decent enough, the owner of the store is anything but. Page Turner III is a boor with more money than brains: He’s cheating on his wife while running his family business into the ground and has a list of enemies longer than any best seller. So when he turns up dead, no one is too surprised. What is surprising is where.

Still living under the radar in Fort Lauderdale due to her refusal to pay her ex-husband’s spousal support, Helen Hawthorne’s latest workaday job might just be the lowest rung on the employment ladder - telemarketing. While Helen is conducting a phone survey with the wealthy Henry “Hank” Asporth, Helen is convinced she heard a murder being committed. With no solid proof, Helen is driven to find out what really happened with Hank and the mystery woman. But if she’s not careful, she just might end up holding a dead line of her own.

After all she’s endured with her own marriage, divorce, and subsequent flight from alimony, Helen Hawthorne getting a job at Millicent’s Bridal Salon is ironic in the extreme. The newest client is Kiki, a wealthy witch who’s making her daughter's wedding day all about Kiki. When Kiki is found smothered to death with her daughter’s wedding dress, the cops seem to think Helen is responsible. Now, Helen must prove her innocence before the bride and groom read their wedding vows—and the police read Helen her rights.

At the Pampered Pet Boutique in Fort Lauderdale, the wealthy owners need a muzzle more than their beloved pets. On her way to deliver a freshly groomed Yorkie, Helen discovers client Tammie Grimsby stabbed to death with a pair of grooming scissors. As Helen sniffs around both the boutique and a growing list of pure breed suspects, she knows that her bark will have to be worse than her bite if she’s going to put the collar on a killer.

Still on the run from the long arm of the law, Helen Hawthorne has found employment as a maid at Fort Lauderdale’s Full Moon Hotel, picking up after clueless tourists and keeping her head down. But staying discreet gets a bit more difficult when Helen opens the hotel dumpster and discovers the dead body of a fellow hotel employee. Then a hotel guest is murdered in the shower, and Helen’s no-good ex-husband Rob arrives in town in search of the money the court said he deserves.

The Superior Club is where Fort Lauderdale’s wealthiest - and snobbiest - come to play. But for Helen Hawthorne, it’s all work and no play. As a customer care clerk, it’s her job to cater to the clients’ every little whim and take care of their every little problem.

Miguel Angel’s chic salon is where Fort Lauderdale’s high society hairdos get done. Even though Helen Hawthorne is just a gofer at the upscale salon, she has to admit the fabulous Miguel Angel is a master at the craft of coif. But with great heads of hair come great headaches. Especially when Miguel Angel and Helen try to prepare the pregnant fiancée of Kingman "King" Oden for her nuptials. King is a bloated, loudmouth bully with a gossip blog, a TV show, and a lousy attitude.

When Fort Lauderdale’s wealthiest want to discreetly trade their best barely-worn threads for cash, they bring it to Snapdragon’s Second Thoughts - which is where Helen Hawthorne finds herself selling the most chic second-hand clothing in Florida. But the usual haggling turns homicidal when a particularly petty customer turns up dead - dangling by a darling Gucci scarf - and Helen's boss Vera is eyed as a suspect.

Newly married, Helen Hawthorne can’t wait to start her life anew - and start an investigation agency with her PI hubby, Phil. Her penchant for working dead-end jobs comes in handy when they’re hired to look into a fitness fanatic who may be cheating on his wife. Taking a receptionist job at their subject’s gym, Helen soon discovers that she has to start pumping her own iron if she wants to keep an eye on the weight-lifting lothario.

Helen Hawthorne and her new husband, Phil Sagemont, are a PI team. To catch a jewel thief on a luxury yacht, Helen goes undercover as the ship’s new stewardess, serving drinks to snobs, scrubbing floors, and cleaning up after seasick passengers. While Helen is cruising the Bahamas, Phil has to catch a sexy gold digger who may have killed her elderly husband for his fortune.

Helen and Phil discover dark undercurrents of corruption behind the facades of cute beachfront businesses, as well domestic secrets. Helen and Phil have to solve this crime soon—before they’re all up a creek without a paddle.

Husband and wife PI team Helen Hawthorne and Phil Sagemont are hired by Trish Barrymore, who is divorcing her no-account accountant Mort. When Mort is found dead, Trish is the main suspect. She wants Helen and Phil to find out who killed Mort Barrymore—and more importantly, kidnapped Justine, the couple’s pedigreed Chartreux show cat. Helen goes undercover as an assistant to a woman who shows prizewinning Persians. Under the primping, posing, and purring, cat shows are a high-pressure world, and now the stakes are life and death.