I grew up Catholic.  But I was a born non-believer, doubter, contrarian who just couldn't get with the program.  Yet, there I was kneeling and praying and shouting to the highest mountain and going through the motions but petrified that I was going to Hell because I didn't feel the spirit.  Any spirit.  In fact, I was pretty certain the whole thing was silly.  And that is why I should be your life coach and spiritual guru.  I have seen both sides of the issue.  I am objective.  And I care.  I want you to thrive.  Let's get started.  

In this episode I describe how I hoped my First Communion would solve all my "I don't feel what everyone else feels" problems with growing up Catholic and how that worked out.  The last straw was a Good Friday celebration when I was in 3rd grade.  Being a believer was just not in the cards for me.  I also discuss a 9 year old crush I had on a married woman (she was so HOT) and my addiction to sound effects which I overuse in this episode and others.  My apologies.  I love cartoon sound effects.  

When did I first get the idea I could save the world?  Or short of that, help one person?  Listen and find out.  Did your Mom make a birthday on Christmas for the Baby Jesus?  Mine did.  It felt really weird singing Happy Birthday to a ceramic figurine in a Nativity scene.  Those of us who were subjected to this type of thing need to talk about it.  Did you ever ask God to prove His existence so you could stop doubting?  I did.  Hear what deals I offered God in return for Proof of His Existence and if I ever heard from Him in this episode.  And most important, as your life coach I tell you how many of the Ten Commandments you really need to follow to get into Heaven... if it exists.