This week we discuss not getting better in therapy, when we should give up, and if it’s up to us to know what we want to work on in therapy. We will also talk about depression and how to come to terms with it, and how to know if we are burnt out.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 243 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. I think I realize why I’m not getting better in therapy. I’ve been going to therapy for almost 10 years on and off. I don’t want to get better. I want someone to save me. Some people may argue that now that you’re an adult you have to save yourself. I’m tired of saving myself. I’ve been saving myself since I was eight years old. I am 29 years old now and struggle with so much self harm including addiction, and disordered eating. I just want someone to scoop me up and save me. How do I stop this mentality? I feel like I’m too old to be doing some of these things to myself. 00:36

2. My counselor told me ‘I can’t really help you if you don’t bring anything to our sessions’. I have already explained that when I come into a session and she says, ‘what do you want to talk about today?’ It stresses me out and I don’t know what to say, so a couple of weeks ago I wrote a list of stuff that is the biggest issues I have and stuff that I am finding the most difficult to deal with at the moment and I gave it to her and we went through that for a session so she has an idea of the stuff I want to work on but she continues to ask every week ‘what do you want to talk about today?’ 16:23

3. How to deal with (come to terms with, accept) depression? How do I get over feeling so useless, unable to function as an adult??? 19:32

4. I’ve been in therapy for 3+ years now and I don’t know it’s getting any better. I’ve been diagnosed with MDD and although functioning, I can’t seem to find joy in my everyday life. I’ve also spoken to my therapist about it and even told her about my want to stop therapy because I feel like I’m wasting her time. My therapist assured me I’m not wasting her time, and also gently persisted about continuing therapy since therapy is the only consistency right now that doesn’t malfunction (note: every other consistent routine doesn’t seem to stick even if I tried). What can I do to get out of the rut? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks for all that you do. 24:12

5. Hey Kati, could you possibly talk about burnout? What could it look like? Would someone with depression already be more susceptible to burnout? And why might it be so hard to admit it and get help? I think I am either completely burnt out or close to it. I work a lot of overtime and can’t just take a break because I don’t have anyone to cover my position (head/only full time chef and kitchen manager at a residential school) I organize the whole week of meals for out students and to be able to take my “normal” days off, it requires so much extra work. I don’t know how to stand up for myself, how to rest when I do have small bits of time and even on my days off there are usually texts or calls to answer from work. I’m leaving my job in 6 months but that feels like a long time to just try and hang on. Any information, help or advice would be so appreciated. Thank you for everything. 27:37

6. Why do the Pollyannas keep telling me "it gets better" when it's painfully obvious that it only gets worse? 38:06

PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week Kati talks about child on child abuse, and if being abused as a child means that we will abuse others. She also explains what trauma processing looks like and whether or not talking out our trauma could itself be traumatizing. Finally, she discusses reparenting and what it can look like, why we want to push our therapist away, and how we can process all we have been through.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 242 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions:

1. Hi Kati, I am wondering if a child who abuses other children will become an adult who abuses children? I ask because my brother (5yrs my senior) molested me from the time I can remember up to about age 5, when his friend took over. He’s since moved far away (we are adults now) but has had access to young children. I worry about the safety of those children. Could he really still be abusing children so many years later?

2. Could you talk about bit about child on child sexual abuse? When is it considered normal child exploration and when is it abuse? And is 4 years old too young for it to be considered abuse? When I was about 4 years old, a boy in my class (who used to bully/tease me sometimes) (also 4) “touched me” (I won't go into the details). He somehow convinced me to let him and...

3. Can you talk about trauma and processing it? Why do I feel like I have to talk about events in therapy more than once? I already talked about it, why can’t it just be a one and done? I shared it once, isn't that enough?

4. I am wondering why after almost a year in therapy and on the cusp of being honest and opening up about my childhood trauma, I am questioning everything my therapist is doing and trying to push her buttons? I seem to want to put conditions on the things I share or do. I don't mean to do this but can't seem to stop. Is this normal or a part of the process?

5. I was wondering if you can explain how reparenting is supposed to help? I have done it a few times with my therapist or on my own and it just feels like I’m shoving down my feelings and telling myself it’s ok and I’m safe when it’s like the opposite of what I’m feeling. Although, when others do it it’s helpful. it’s just weird because I’m giving myself something that I should or should have gotten from others? Isn’t the point of community to get feel good messages? Like how can I be my own parent? My parent wasn’t the parent I needed and I can’t fill that void. I don’t think one person or thing fills that void. I think it’s multiple things and relationships. Anyway, I couldn’t be my own parent as a kid, so how can I now be one as an adult? I don’t know if that makes sense.

6. How do I emotionally process a lot stuff that happened this year, example doing splits shifts to getting a new job along with family stuff sprinkled in all within a few months and going to a wedding? I’ve felt like I’ve been on auto pilot and not dealt with it.

Compulsions, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and OCD. This week licensed therapist Kati Morton will discuss what compulsions really are, whether our intrusive thoughts can pop up in our dreams, what causes us to develop OCD, and how to better manage the physical symptoms of OCD and anxiety. Ask Kati Anything ep. 241 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. Is it possible that my self harm and self sabotaging behaviors are compulsions? I usually tell myself I’m not deserving of help or nothing is actually wrong in less I engage in x behavior. So then I engage in the behavior and feel almost like self validated but also I feel too ashamed to talk about it and guilty because if that was my thought then is it even real and can’t I just stop. And then the cycle continues. It’s like I want to stop but I can’t because then I think I’m not worthy of getting help but I can’t even get help because I think I’m making it all up anyway. It doesn’t make any sense but I don’t know why I keep getting stuck in the cycle and I don’t know how to get out. 00:30 2. Can harm / sexual based ocd intrusive thoughts come up in dreams?? I had a very horrible, sexual based dream and now I’m feeling so much shame. Like what if I like that, what if I’m actually a horrible person. (COMMENT: As an add on. Is the same true for agoraphobia? I dream of getting kidnapped if I go outside or when I am too loud at home alone. However I was also diagnosed with OCD and my compulsions of checking locks is also related to the same fear.) 11:25 3. I had really bad and obvious OCD when I was younger, I think roughly from the age of 5 years old. I didn’t have any traumatic event happening to me. Why would a child this young develop OCD? 18:19 4. If you could talk about harm ocd that would be helpful with intrusive thoughts. 25:47 5. Could you talk a bit about physical anxiety? I struggle with anxiety and I feel it super physical, e.g I am dissociating a lot, heart racing, nausea, and my stomach is upset. I’ve learnt coping skills in therapy how to deal with anxiety but I just feel like the physical part of it is not getting better. I also tried more physical exercises and stuff like that to release the physical energy. I feel physically anxious 24/7 even if there’s no reason to be. I am not taking any medication, I tried it in the past but they made me dissociate so much more. Do you have any advice for me? Thank you so much for your help 30:25 #podcast #psychology #katimorton PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimortonInstagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com