This week we discuss not getting better in therapy, when we should give up, and if it’s up to us to know what we want to work on in therapy. We will also talk about depression and how to come to terms with it, and how to know if we are burnt out.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 243 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. I think I realize why I’m not getting better in therapy. I’ve been going to therapy for almost 10 years on and off. I don’t want to get better. I want someone to save me. Some people may argue that now that you’re an adult you have to save yourself. I’m tired of saving myself. I’ve been saving myself since I was eight years old. I am 29 years old now and struggle with so much self harm including addiction, and disordered eating. I just want someone to scoop me up and save me. How do I stop this mentality? I feel like I’m too old to be doing some of these things to myself. 00:36

2. My counselor told me ‘I can’t really help you if you don’t bring anything to our sessions’. I have already explained that when I come into a session and she says, ‘what do you want to talk about today?’ It stresses me out and I don’t know what to say, so a couple of weeks ago I wrote a list of stuff that is the biggest issues I have and stuff that I am finding the most difficult to deal with at the moment and I gave it to her and we went through that for a session so she has an idea of the stuff I want to work on but she continues to ask every week ‘what do you want to talk about today?’ 16:23

3. How to deal with (come to terms with, accept) depression? How do I get over feeling so useless, unable to function as an adult??? 19:32

4. I’ve been in therapy for 3+ years now and I don’t know it’s getting any better. I’ve been diagnosed with MDD and although functioning, I can’t seem to find joy in my everyday life. I’ve also spoken to my therapist about it and even told her about my want to stop therapy because I feel like I’m wasting her time. My therapist assured me I’m not wasting her time, and also gently persisted about continuing therapy since therapy is the only consistency right now that doesn’t malfunction (note: every other consistent routine doesn’t seem to stick even if I tried). What can I do to get out of the rut? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks for all that you do. 24:12

5. Hey Kati, could you possibly talk about burnout? What could it look like? Would someone with depression already be more susceptible to burnout? And why might it be so hard to admit it and get help? I think I am either completely burnt out or close to it. I work a lot of overtime and can’t just take a break because I don’t have anyone to cover my position (head/only full time chef and kitchen manager at a residential school) I organize the whole week of meals for out students and to be able to take my “normal” days off, it requires so much extra work. I don’t know how to stand up for myself, how to rest when I do have small bits of time and even on my days off there are usually texts or calls to answer from work. I’m leaving my job in 6 months but that feels like a long time to just try and hang on. Any information, help or advice would be so appreciated. Thank you for everything. 27:37

6. Why do the Pollyannas keep telling me "it gets better" when it's painfully obvious that it only gets worse? 38:06

PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week Kati talks about child on child abuse, and if being abused as a child means that we will abuse others. She also explains what trauma processing looks like and whether or not talking out our trauma could itself be traumatizing. Finally, she discusses reparenting and what it can look like, why we want to push our therapist away, and how we can process all we have been through.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 242 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions:

1. Hi Kati, I am wondering if a child who abuses other children will become an adult who abuses children? I ask because my brother (5yrs my senior) molested me from the time I can remember up to about age 5, when his friend took over. He’s since moved far away (we are adults now) but has had access to young children. I worry about the safety of those children. Could he really still be abusing children so many years later?

2. Could you talk about bit about child on child sexual abuse? When is it considered normal child exploration and when is it abuse? And is 4 years old too young for it to be considered abuse? When I was about 4 years old, a boy in my class (who used to bully/tease me sometimes) (also 4) “touched me” (I won't go into the details). He somehow convinced me to let him and...

3. Can you talk about trauma and processing it? Why do I feel like I have to talk about events in therapy more than once? I already talked about it, why can’t it just be a one and done? I shared it once, isn't that enough?

4. I am wondering why after almost a year in therapy and on the cusp of being honest and opening up about my childhood trauma, I am questioning everything my therapist is doing and trying to push her buttons? I seem to want to put conditions on the things I share or do. I don't mean to do this but can't seem to stop. Is this normal or a part of the process?

5. I was wondering if you can explain how reparenting is supposed to help? I have done it a few times with my therapist or on my own and it just feels like I’m shoving down my feelings and telling myself it’s ok and I’m safe when it’s like the opposite of what I’m feeling. Although, when others do it it’s helpful. it’s just weird because I’m giving myself something that I should or should have gotten from others? Isn’t the point of community to get feel good messages? Like how can I be my own parent? My parent wasn’t the parent I needed and I can’t fill that void. I don’t think one person or thing fills that void. I think it’s multiple things and relationships. Anyway, I couldn’t be my own parent as a kid, so how can I now be one as an adult? I don’t know if that makes sense.

6. How do I emotionally process a lot stuff that happened this year, example doing splits shifts to getting a new job along with family stuff sprinkled in all within a few months and going to a wedding? I’ve felt like I’ve been on auto pilot and not dealt with it.

Compulsions, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and OCD. This week licensed therapist Kati Morton will discuss what compulsions really are, whether our intrusive thoughts can pop up in our dreams, what causes us to develop OCD, and how to better manage the physical symptoms of OCD and anxiety. Ask Kati Anything ep. 241 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. Is it possible that my self harm and self sabotaging behaviors are compulsions? I usually tell myself I’m not deserving of help or nothing is actually wrong in less I engage in x behavior. So then I engage in the behavior and feel almost like self validated but also I feel too ashamed to talk about it and guilty because if that was my thought then is it even real and can’t I just stop. And then the cycle continues. It’s like I want to stop but I can’t because then I think I’m not worthy of getting help but I can’t even get help because I think I’m making it all up anyway. It doesn’t make any sense but I don’t know why I keep getting stuck in the cycle and I don’t know how to get out. 00:30 2. Can harm / sexual based ocd intrusive thoughts come up in dreams?? I had a very horrible, sexual based dream and now I’m feeling so much shame. Like what if I like that, what if I’m actually a horrible person. (COMMENT: As an add on. Is the same true for agoraphobia? I dream of getting kidnapped if I go outside or when I am too loud at home alone. However I was also diagnosed with OCD and my compulsions of checking locks is also related to the same fear.) 11:25 3. I had really bad and obvious OCD when I was younger, I think roughly from the age of 5 years old. I didn’t have any traumatic event happening to me. Why would a child this young develop OCD? 18:19 4. If you could talk about harm ocd that would be helpful with intrusive thoughts. 25:47 5. Could you talk a bit about physical anxiety? I struggle with anxiety and I feel it super physical, e.g I am dissociating a lot, heart racing, nausea, and my stomach is upset. I’ve learnt coping skills in therapy how to deal with anxiety but I just feel like the physical part of it is not getting better. I also tried more physical exercises and stuff like that to release the physical energy. I feel physically anxious 24/7 even if there’s no reason to be. I am not taking any medication, I tried it in the past but they made me dissociate so much more. Do you have any advice for me? Thank you so much for your help 30:25 #podcast #psychology #katimorton PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimortonInstagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week licensed therapist, Kati Morton talks about therapy and how to get comfortable sharing with our therapist. She also discusses honesty in therapy, its importance, and how we can find the courage to share what we are going through. She then explains how to know when we need to see a therapist versus talking to our friends and family, and finally she digs into therapy ending, why it would happen and how we can cope with it. Ask Kati Anything ep. 240 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. Hi Kati, what can therapists do to try to help their patients get comfortable enough to share about traumas they have never verbalized before to anyone (even themselves)? What tips do you have for therapists and what tips do you have for patients in that situation? 01:01 2. Do you have any advice for someone who is trying to open up/be honest in therapy but genuinely doesn’t know how to say it? 10:45 3. I hope all is well with you. When should we seek support from a friend or family member as opposed to a therapist? I've had a couple of relevant diagnoses. First, I'm autistic, so understanding relationships can already be difficult. Second, I've been treated for borderline PD in the past. I mention this because when I'm in distress, it's often due to feeling abandoned because I haven't heard from my friends in a few days (or even a few hours). It feels inappropriate to reach out when the reason I'm feeling bad is that they've chosen not to reply yet... 12:26 4. How do I find the courage to talk about my OCD intrusive thoughts? The ones that make you question if you’re really a good person or not. I’m really struggling and I want to talk about them but I’m so worried that once she learns about them she’ll see me differently whether she shows it or not. 18:14 5. Hello! I’m currently in Appalachia which is an area most impacted by hurricane Helene. While I and my family are safe with minimal damage, so many people I love have lost so much or even everything. I’ve been in therapy for two years and have made significant progress, but with the recent tragedy, I feel as though I’m back at the beginning of processing trauma. I fear my therapist is going to decide I’m no longer worth the trouble because I’ve backtracked, and I’m afraid sharing that fear will only open the door for her to decide to share that she doesn’t think she’s helping me and we need to stop. For context, I have CPTSD and suffered some pretty significant emotional abuse and neglect as a child. I have a lot of fear of people leaving and often feel as though I’m... 20:40 6. How do I cope with my therapist eventually having to leave me when therapy ends? I feel like there is no way for it to happen without me being retraumatized. It makes me think there is literally no point to any of therapy. I’d rather have not gotten close to my therapist at all and I feel even more skeptical about getting close to other people now. I know there really isn’t a good answer. Living just means constant loss. My mother died when I was a baby My dad didn’t want me. I was taken in by family members and sexually abused throughout my whole childhood by their son. My single best friend of years moved away without a word. My sister moved away. Being born was a joke. Maybe this isn’t really a question. 25:50

#podcast #psychology #katimorton PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimortonInstagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week we are talking about depersonalization, derealization, otherwise known as dissociation. We will also discuss DID or dissociative identity disorder, how we can build our sense of self, if we can love therapy too much, and why we can feel awkward after disclosing our self injury. Finally, we will talk about whether or not we can be so damaged that no amount of therapy can help us.

Ask Kati Anything ep.239 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT

Audience questions:

1. I struggle with persistent depersonalisation and derealisation. I tried a lot of things over the years (therapy, different mindfulness practices, temperature play, full body shakes, yoga, meditation, being aware of my body etc.) and nothing is working. I know it gets worse when I am overwhelmed or tired or hungry, but it’s nearly happening 24/7 even if I am happy and relaxed and on holidays for example. It doesn’t make sense to me. Sometimes it gets really bad, I think when I also start panicking. Then I feel like I can’t see properly and feel so far gone, that it feels super scary. I know dissociation is not scary and it’s my body’s way to protect me, but when it is so severe, it feels absolutely horrible. Do you have any tips for me? 01:14

2. I am a survivor of CSA and have CPTSD. I don’t think I have DID however, why do I have different “voices” that come out at different times in ways I cannot control? My friends say I have 2 different “voices” one is higher pitched and small, and the other is deeper and more grown-up. Some things can for sure trigger it like feeling afraid or ashamed but it doesn’t always trigger it. Sometimes I am... 17:26

3. How to build a sense of self when no sense (or only a weak sense) of self has ever existed. In this scenario there is no "rebuilding" of the self, because it never existed as a whole in the past. There's nothing to be rebuilt because it hasn't been built yet. Is there any relevant research that looks at outcomes for individuals who developed a sense of self for the very first time in adulthood... 21:57

4. I love therapy. I know it’s supposed to be difficult and a lot of people are “scared” to work on themselves in therapy but I absolutely love it. My therapist told me I am very analytical and symptom focused, I constantly analyze every small behavior about myself and I can’t seem to stop. I constantly need to make sense of everything. I also love the attention that she gives me and I love that she cares about me. I wish I could see her all day every day. Is it normal to love therapy this much? 25:41

5. I just recently told a friend about my self-harming and now I feel really awkward. I wanted to know, why do I feel so embarrassed when near this friend now? 30:59

6. I hope this makes sense to you. It is something I've been wondering about. Is it possible to be so severely damaged by your past that no matter how much therapy you got that you never really heal? Because after all the therapy I got I still have so many trigger points. Is it because I've been traumatized over and over? Is it because of all sorts of abuse over and over? Am I not supposed to get over it by now? 33:30 #podcast #psychology #katimorton PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/katimorton X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimortonInstagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/

PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

In this insightful interview, licensed therapist Kati Morton sits down with mental health advocate Kody Green (aka @schizophrenichippie) to discuss living with schizophrenia and the importance of breaking the stigma around mental illness. Kody shares his personal journey, from his diagnosis to becoming an influential voice in the mental health community. Together, they dive into the challenges and misconceptions surrounding schizophrenia, offering practical insights and ways to better understand and support those affected by this condition.Whether you're curious about mental health or want to develop more empathy, this conversation will leave you with a deeper understanding of schizophrenia and the power of advocacy.

Key topics covered:

• Kody’s schizophrenia diagnosis and journey
• Common myths and misconceptions about schizophrenia
• Coping strategies and daily challenges
• The role of advocacy in mental health
• How to support someone with schizophrenia

Watch now to learn how to foster empathy and understanding for those living with schizophrenia.

#Schizophrenia #MentalHealth #KatiMorton #KodyGreen #SchizophreniaAwareness #MentalHealthAdvocacy #BreakingStigma #SchizophrenicStorytime

Ask Kati Anything ep. 238 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT

Connect with Kody

• TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@schizophrenichippie
• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/schizophrenichippie
• YouTube https://www.youtube.com/ @SchizophrenicHippie

PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIALSX https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses attachment and how that can show up in therapy, she also digs into emotion regulation and finding healthier ways to do it, and finally she talks about attachment in our romantic relationships and how to better manage it.

Audience questions for Ask Kati Anything ep. 237 | Your mental health podcast

1. Hi Kati! I hope you are well, I absolutely love your videos and you are helping me so much. My question is attachment related. I was in therapy for a year and now ended a few months ago and I am really struggling to cope now. I have an anxious attachment style and severe abandonment issues. Since the beginning of therapy I've been super attached to my therapist and feared therapy ending. I told her about everything I was feeling and we worked on therapy ending quite a lot, but we didn't really do any attachment work... 01:38

2. Hey Kati, could you talk about emotional regulation please? I have been talking to a friend about self and co-regulation. Could you possibly explain a bit about how they relate to each other and how to learn how to self regulate? I think it is coming from an anxious attachment style for me and I’m really struggling to self regulate but it’s so difficult to reach out. It’s something I am coming to realize I struggle with and I feel like it will strain my relationship with my best friend because she is dealing with me a lot at the moment. She is amazing and is so understanding but I don’t want to put this on her. We have already talked a bit about it. 14:42

3. I second the idea of emotional regulation. I never learned that skill. All I learned from observation was to not show anyone how I feel. That’s problematic for those of us on the spectrum. I just realized I’ve had meltdowns in the past. I thought that’s what “crying” or “being mad” was. So I want to process and regulate better going forward. 21:07

4. Hi Kati!! Could you talk about why self harm helps relieve our intense emotions in the moment of self harming? Could you also talk about why someone touching where we self harm can be so triggering? My friend grabbed my wrist the other day and I freaked out. 24:48

5. Hi Kati! Whenever I can‘t see my partner for longer periods of time (due to travel for work or holidays), I miss him but simultaneously get a strong urge to pick a fight and break up. I really spiral, feel worthless and unloved and am disgusted with myself. Similarly, as soon as my therapist is away on holiday and I wish I had a session, I freak out and want to quit therapy for good. This seems to be a weird pattern throughout my relationships I can‘t quite get a handle on. Where can this come from and how do I address it? I really struggle to not impulsively act on my feelings. In case that’s important: I have ADHD and suffer from CPTSD due to emotional and physical abuse during childhood. Thanks for everything you do! 28:17

6. Hi. I recently broke up with my long term partner. It was very hard but not dramatic, I just fell out of love, but it triggered many feelings of fear about aging and loneliness. I feel sometimes like I'm a bad person that is not deserving of love and I feel guilt about the breakup. 35:41

#podcast #psychology #katimorton PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com Partnerships: Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about change and why it can be so difficult. She digs into ways we can stop judging ourselves for overeating, how to put ourselves out there and start living, and ways we can start to feel ready for something. She also explains how to balance prioritizing ourselves without feeling selfish, and what behavioral activation really is and why it’s the best way to combat our depression. Questions for Ask Kati Anything ep. 236 | Your mental health podcast 1. Why do I hate change so much? Change tends to worsen my depression and stress longer than anyone else seems to be affected by it at all. Is that just a personality characteristic, or is it possible that there is a reason? 02:07 2. Hi Kati, how can I stop judging myself for “overreacting” and having trauma responses to things that aren’t “big T”traumas? Other people reasonably might not have a trauma response to those same situations, so that makes me feel like I’m weak and overreacting because it shouldn’t be a big deal. I realize the judgment isn’t helping me, but I don’t know how to stop. It’s keeping me from sharing about those things with my therapist because I’m ashamed and judging myself. What should I do? 14:49 3. I’m often told that I don’t have a life. How do I put myself out there and start living? 24:07 4. Hey Kati, can you please talk about "how to get/feel ready" for something? I read that feeling not ready or simply not being able to do things can be connected to not wanting to feel ready or change. The thing is, I know that I want to have a romantic relationship, but still feel not ready. What can I do here? Thanks for your positive impact that you make 32:32 5. Hi Kati, I have been told multiple times by my therapist that I’m allowed to prioritize myself and stop trying to appease everyone else in my life. However, every time I try my inner voice tells me I’m being selfish and egotistical and shames me for thinking like this. How can I challenge these thoughts and show them they’re wrong? 37:02 6. Hey Kati! Can you talk about behavioral activation? The idea behind behavioral activation is that by deliberately practicing certain behaviors, you can “activate” a positive emotional state. 40:40

#podcast #psychology #katimorton

PUBLISHED BOOKS

Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j

Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY

ONLINE THERAPY

While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month)

SOCIAL

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton

X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton

Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/

PARTNERSHIPS

Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com