Well…despite having a lot to gain by influencing you to watch the season by saying the rebrand is amazing…you know we cannot tell a lie. We’re all about AUTHENTICITY, unlike all of these scripted comedy sketches these producers cooked up for every other scene?! The lighting gives Bourne Ultimatum, the sinister music gives Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, the “challenges” give storebrand Are You The One, and the heavily manicured flat declarations say new-age Love Is Blind. We can’t help but discuss Love Island in scattered tangents, Nicolandria’s rebirth, Huda’s final (?) crash-out, and our nephew Marcel.

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We took about an hour-long tangent about Love Island US, but so much NEEDED to be discussed. First, Camille recaps witnessing Beyoncé's near-death experience at Cowboy Carter in Houston. Then, we get into the Nicolandria obsession, the rupture of the Love Island “Sisterhood”, upcoming predictions, and more. In Hawaii, with the Valley cast, Kristen Doute gets engaged while some friends celebrate and others ruminate.

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The first 20 minutes of the episode are purely Love Island US talk, and hear us when we say, you NEED to be watching. Do not miss this opportunity! Down in the Valley, Jax is out of the so-called “mental health facility” and wreaking absolute havoc like nothing has changed. Janet’s on her typical BS, as is Michelle. But it’s a beautiful moment in America: a country united over our shared disdain.

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