Chapter 2. Happiness is a problem

In this chapter, Marc shares the story of Buddha, how he achieved enlightenment, and his philosophical theory that happiness is not a solvable equation and that dissatisfaction and unease are inherent parts of the human body and components to create consistent happiness. Marc explains the same Buddha theory from his biological perspective in this chapter.

According to Marc, we suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically sound. It is nature’s preferred agent to inspire change. We are wired to become dissatisfied with whatever we have and satisfied with only what we do not have.

Marc here talks about two kinds of pain. Physical pain and psychological distress. He says physical pain is also essential because it tells us what is good for us versus bad. It helps us adhere to our limitations.

Marc says that psychological pain is not necessarily always bad. It can be healthy and necessary. The emotional pain of rejection and failure teaches us how to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

He says problems never go away – they improve. The solution to one problem is merely a creation of the next one. Don’t hope for a life without problems. There is no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.

According to Marc, happiness comes from solving the problem. When we avoid solving problems and feel that we don’t have any issues, we will make our life miserable. To be happy, we need something to be solved.

Therefore happiness is a form of action and activity. It is not something that we magically discover. Happiness is a constant work in progress because solving problems is continual work.

Marc says that solving problems is a simple concept, but life does not feel that simple for some people. It’s because of two reasons.

Firstly they don’t accept they have problems. They are always in denial mode. They deny reality, which makes them happy for a short period but leads to a life of insecurity and emotional repression.

Secondly, they always play victim mentality. They believe there is nothing they can do to solve their problems. They blame other people and circumstances for their problems which makes them happy for a short time but leads to a life of anger, helplessness, and despair.

Life’s most essential and straightforward component is our struggles determine our successes. Our problems birth from our happiness and slightly better and upgraded problems.

In this chapter, Marc talks about genuine self–esteem. With the help of an example of a person called Jimmy, Marc says that merely feeling good about ourselves does not really mean anything unless we have a good reason to feel good about ourselves.

The problem with the self–esteem movement is that it measured self-esteem by how positively people felt about themselves.

But a true and accurate measurement of one’s self-worth is how people think about the negative aspects of themselves. A person with high self-worth can look at the negative parts of his character and then act to improve them.

Chapter 3. You are not special