My next Dance Past Sunset show will continue my series on sex in the second half, which began with health and beauty consultant Sophie Benge speaking on her personal experience with menopause, followed by Wendy Cobina Demos speaking on restoring sex to its sacred place.

My next guest, a 70 year old man, will talk about his journey of reclaiming his own sexual power, and in doing so finally feeling witnessed, seen, and loved. He developed a profound sense of trust and depth of intimacy he would have never experienced without some courageous personal honesty, something I’d like to think we all develop as we move into the second half of our lives.

But before I introduce my guest, who will be interviewed in two parts, I want to offer some context.

A New and Better Ethic
As you may know from my book Blue Skyways, or from comments I’ve made over the years on this show, I spent about 30 years in the evangelical Christian faith, having become “born again” on July 25, 1975 at the tender age of nineteen. When I actually left the faith is less clear, since I kind of smudged out about 14 years ago, keeping some things I valued and throwing out others.

One ethic I threw out is the disapproval most but not all evangelical christian's hold for LGBTQ sexual orientation, or for genders other than those distinctly male and female. I personally no longer accept that ethic. A quick study of biology shows diversity in gender and sexuality, physically if not emotionally and spiritually, and I respect science.

So I have taken to heart what is for me a new ethic, and for me, a better one. I support a non-binary, gender fluid world that respects and celebrates all genders and that everyone should be able to live their truth in complete freedom. The challenges of our world are complex, and it will take all hands on deck to solve them: all races, all ages, all faiths, all genders, everybody.

My Next Guest Galen Fous
That new ethic made it easy for me to welcome my next guest, Galen Fous, a man who self-identifies as a heterosexual, dominant erotic sadist, and if you think you know what that means, then I suggest you also listen to part two of this show. Galen is also a kink-positive therapist, author, educator and sex researcher. He is the inventor of the Tetruss Shibari Suspension Bondage Rig, Portable BDSM Dungeon and Sex Swing, which is the world’s most versatile adult toy, and most recently, the my yoga chair. At age 70, he has some good and interesting ideas for how to stay in shape through the second half of life, sexually and otherwise.

Our conversation is probably PG rated, so not for little kids, but really useful for any adult seeking to reclaim their own sexual power, and in doing so, finally being able to live in true freedom, feeling witnessed, seen, and loved.

Sex & Death
Some of you may be wondering how I move from death, the subject of most of my earlier shows and still the red thread that runs though them, and sex, the subject of recent shows. Notwithstanding that sex and death are two of the most powerful forces affecting humans, there is a profound connection, a sort of Ariadne's string that leads us from one to the other in the labyrinth of life. It has everything to do with personal authenticity.

Confronting death has a way of stripping away the imposter in us, the person who is living someone else’s life instead of his own. That brutal confrontation doesn’t have to be with the final death, the one with a capital D, although I understand that one is foolproof. Finding our true selves can also come by encountering one of the secondary deaths, like divorce, job loss, serious illness, a Near Death Experience, or the loss of a friendship or loved one. It can be anything that ushers in what the Catholics call the “dark night of the soul.”

Galen has his own brutal confrontation when his partner outted him and he lost everything — his job, his children, his position in his community — everything. Then, finally, and only then, was he free to be who he was all along, but now with the honesty and integrity that are vital to wholeness. He died, but then he was born again in a more honest form.

I like to think that those of us who are in the second half of life, no matter our age, are primed to begin living our own true, authentic lives, free from the patterns and complexes that held us prisoners in the first half. If you’ve had your own encounter with death, than you know to not to waste a single moment chasing someone else’s dream, or living someone else’s life. Make the most of every moment, because it’s the only moment you’ve got.

I am coming to you from the quaint town of Tavira, Portugal, part of my year long travel around the world and the subject of my third book "Blue Skyways." I’ll tell you at the end of the show how you can access an exclusive copy of Blue Skyways, but for now, I want to talk about sex. Yes, this next show is another in my “sex in the second half” series, and not all the content is suitable for the kiddies, so please use discretion before playing this podcast over your elementary school's PA system.

Now I’ll admit, I am as dumb as a bag of rocks on many of these issues, which is exactly why I’m curious to explore them. At 63 years old, I can feel my body changing, and that is affecting my sex life. Sound familiar? Furthermore, my ideas about relationships are shifting. Is traditional marriage still the right model for men and women who want to have sex, or is there something else? What about living together 24 by seven by 365? Might there be another approach that is not quite so…ahem…suffocating?

I talk about all this and more with my next guest Wendy Cobina Demos, who is the founder of the Sacred Sexual Music festivals and JuicyMeJuicy.com. Wendy and I met in her home city of Vancouver, British Columbia, where we huddled for this recording in her festival van on a rainy evening. Not only does Wendy have a wonderful vision for restoring the sacredness of sex, which you’ll hear about in this interview, she also a talented musician. You can hear one of her songs playing in the background.

So please join me on the Dance you my conversation with Wendy Cobina Demos of SacredSexualMusicFestival.com.

I met my next guest in Portugal last May, at a conference on healing, and was immediately attracted to her natural beauty and radiance. No surprise there — just take a look at her picture! When someone has an inner smile, it manifests outwardly, and I love to see it.

Sophie Benge is an international journalist and consultant on beauty and wellness, with a focus on women. Now guys, don’t turn me off yet, because you are going to want to hear Sophie explain how you and the woman in your life can have more and better sex, and we do that by talking about…wait for it…menopause. That’s right, Sophie and I dive deeply into this often misunderstood stage of life that affects most women of a certain age, and so it affects us men too.

Sophie Benge is the author of several books on the healing power of natural resources, the human energy system, and ancient systems of medicine. She is the curator of retreats and workshops called Aging Gracefully, including one coming up in late November 2019. But Sophie is not just about seaweed soaks and kundalini, she is also a sucker for the traditional salon blow dry and wrinkle-reducing cream. I know — when I was looking pretty shaggy after six weeks on the road, Sophie helped me get a a good haircut in London, where she lives and works.

Now I have a confession to make before we get started. As with so many subjects we cover on this podcast, I knew almost nothing about menopause. You’ll pick up on that as Sophie gives me a proper schooling on Hormone Replacement Therapy, the symptoms of menopause, and how it affects our sex lives. There was so much to learn that I broke the interview into two parts, and while they are both PG rated, the discussion gets decidedly saucier as we go on.

So please join me for Part One of my two part interview with Sophie Benge, international journalist, author and curator of Ageing Gracefully as we talk about menopause.