If you've ever wondered how to find yourself again after years of caregiving, silence, or loss, episode 346 of Grief and Happiness is for you. Brenda Coffee, author, blogger, and survivor, joins Emily for a deeply personal conversation about grief, trauma, and the long path back to yourself. Through stories of profound heartbreak and quiet resilience, Brenda shares how she went from being the strong one for everyone else to finally listening to her own voice.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
(1:22) Brenda's first experience with profound grief: losing her father
(4:00) Living with and caring for a mother with mental illness
(5:30) Why trauma made Brenda grow up fast—and stay quiet for decades
(8:10) Her first marriage, emotional abuse, and the moment she said, "No more"
(12:30) Meeting her second husband and building a new life
(14:50) The first experience of anticipatory grief during her husband's illness
(17:40) Losing her second husband suddenly on Christmas Day
(20:10) The complexity of grief: relief, heartbreak, and isolation
(25:40) Why Brenda finally started writing—and what it healed
(28:10) The silent cost of being "the strong one"
(31:00) How writing and blogging became a path back to herself
(33:10) A friend's phone call that helped her shift her perspective
(36:50) What survivors really need—and the courage to be vulnerable
(39:30) The importance of not comparing trauma or grief
(42:10) How happiness can coexist with sorrow
In today's episode, I’m joined by Brenda Coffee, author of Maya Blue: A Memoir of Survival. Brenda is a former caregiver, writer, and speaker whose life has been shaped by loss, emotional abuse, and deep resilience. Her memoir offers a raw and honest look at surviving two marriages filled with illness, addiction, and tragedy. For decades, she put others first, but eventually, she found the strength to reclaim her own identity. Now, she uses her voice to support others in grief and guide them toward new beginnings.
Throughout this episode, Brenda opens up about losing her father as a child, navigating her mother’s mental illness, and surviving an emotionally abusive first marriage. She shares how caregiving for a husband with cancer became both a burden and a purpose, and how losing her second husband suddenly on Christmas Day unraveled everything she had rebuilt.
Connect with Brenda Coffee:
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Maya Blue: A Memoir of Survival
Read Brenda’s blog - 1010 ParkPlace
Connect with Emily Thiroux Threatt:
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The Grief and Happiness Alliance
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