Episode 39 – Maintaining Your Calm and Approaching Your Divorce Like a Business Transaction with Courtney Harkness, CDC, MBA

Welcome back to High Vibe Divorce! In this episode, Melissa is joined by Courtney Harkness, a Certified Divorce Coach (CDC) and MBA with a corporate background who now supports women through the emotional and financial complexities of divorce. Known for her calm, nonjudgmental presence and strategic mindset, Courtney helps clients detach from drama, set strong boundaries, and approach divorce like the high-stakes negotiation it truly is.

Together, Melissa and Courtney explore how to emotionally stabilize, set a strategic game plan, and execute your divorce with clarity and composure. From setting boundaries to managing high-conflict personalities, they share actionable tips for keeping your cool and protecting your peace—while still getting a fair deal.

Key Topics Covered:

• Why viewing divorce as a business transaction is empowering for women

• The three-step approach: Stabilize, Strategize, Execute

• How to manage emotional manipulation and financial secrecy

• Practical tools for responding (not reacting) to nasty texts or emails

• How not reacting is your divorce superpower

• What to gather financially before working with a divorce coach

• Why narcissist labels don’t matter—and what to focus on instead

• The emotional letdown of being “officially” divorced—and how to prepare

• The vital role of a certified divorce coach in high-conflict or high-stakes cases

• Tips for spiritual grounding and post-divorce transformation

✨ Affirmation of the Episode: “I establish boundaries to support my freedom.”

Guest Info: Learn more about Courtney Harkness and her coaching services at elitedivorcehelp.com

Follow Courtney on Instagram: @elitedivorcehelp

Connect with Melissa: 🌐 highvibemediation.com 📸 Instagram: @highvibedivorce

🎧 If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review! Divorce can be isolating—share this episode with a friend who needs it and keep the support flowing.

Episode 38: Mortgage Assumptions and Home Ownership During Divorce with Tami Wollensak, CDLP

Host: Melissa Wheeler Farag, Family Law Mediator and Recovering Divorce Litigator Guest: Tami Wollensak, Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP) and VP at New American Funding

Navigating real estate during divorce doesn’t have to add unnecessary stress to an already emotional time. In this insightful episode, Melissa sits down for a second conversation with Tami Wollensak, a nationally licensed mortgage loan originator and Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®). Tami shares her expertise on what divorcing homeowners need to know about mortgage assumptions, the real cost of keeping the marital home, and how to make fully informed, financially sound decisions about real estate during divorce.

If you're considering keeping your house after divorce—or you're curious about your mortgage options—this is essential listening.

• The emotional vs. financial reality of keeping the marital home

• Understanding mortgage assumptions: What they are, how they work, and how divorce impacts eligibility

• The importance of budgeting for home maintenance and unexpected expenses post-divorce

• How spousal support and child support affect mortgage qualifications

• Why "house poor" isn't a vibe: balancing financial stability and emotional needs

• Common pitfalls with loan assumptions, home equity lines, and timing considerations

• The case for renting after divorce—and why it can be a financially wise, low-stress choice

Tami Wollensak, CDLP is a Divorce Mortgage Specialist and VP with New American Funding. With over 30 years in the mortgage industry, Tami helps divorcing individuals nationwide find smarter, more stable home equity solutions. Her mission is to educate, empower, and remove anxiety from the mortgage process—offering peace of mind and a clear path forward during divorce.

• Connect with Tami:

  • Website: TakeOrLeaveTheHouse.com

  • Resources: EmpoweredUncoupling.com

  • Instagram: @tamiwollensakcdlp

• Episode 17: Tami’s first appearance on High Vibe Divorce: "Should I Take or Leave the Marital Residence?"

• TakeOrLeaveTheHouse.com for mortgage planning tools

• EmpoweredUncoupling.com for real estate and divorce education

• Website: HighVibeMediation.com

• Instagram:

  • Mediation: @highvibemediation

  • Podcast: @highvibedivorce

If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review! And don't forget to share with a friend who could use some support navigating divorce.

🌟 Until next time, keep the vibes high and the conflict low.

Host: Melissa Wheeler Farag, California Family Law Mediator & Founder of High Vibe Mediation Podcast: High Vibe Divorce

In this episode, Melissa takes you behind the scenes of the entire divorce mediation process—from first inquiry to final agreement. Whether you're considering mediation, are in the early stages of separation, or simply curious about how it works, this episode is your step-by-step guide to what really happens during divorce mediation.

Melissa, a former litigator turned mediator, shares the exact process she uses in her California-based practice, including how mediation can save time, money, and emotional energy. With insights from her training in Insight Mediation and her background as a Co-Parenting Specialist, she explains how mediation fosters clarity, safety, and self-determination for separating couples.

• 🌀 What is divorce mediation? Voluntary, confidential, out-of-court, and built on neutrality—not judgment.

• 📅 The step-by-step process: Intake → Mediation Agreement → Goal Setting → Financial Disclosures → Joint Sessions → Negotiation → Drafting the Agreement → Filing with the Court

• 👩‍⚖️ Mediator vs. Attorney vs. Judge: Understanding the neutral role of a mediator and why they don’t make decisions or offer legal advice.

• 💻 Virtual & flat-fee mediation in California: How Zoom sessions and flat-rate pricing create accessibility and financial clarity.

• 🧠 Insight Mediation in action: Exploring the roots of conflict, defensive reactions, and how curiosity can transform combative dynamics.

• 👶 Child-centered parenting plans: Crafting plans that reflect a child’s routine, needs, and developmental stage—fitting the parents around the child, not the other way around.

• 💡 When is mediation the right fit? Best for couples who want to avoid court, keep control over the outcome, and co-create a more peaceful post-divorce life.

• 🔁 Modifying agreements post-divorce: Why many families return to mediation for parenting plan updates or other tweaks—without going back to court.

“Peace begins with clarity.” Let this episode be your invitation to slow down, get informed, and find the clarity you need to move forward with peace and purpose.

• 🖥️ Book a free discovery call: HighVibeMediation.com

• 📸 Connect on Instagram: @HighVibeMediation | @HighVibeDivorce

• Want to learn how mediation actually works (without the legal jargon)

• Are exploring amicable divorce options

• Need a peaceful, streamlined alternative to court

• Are curious about Insight Mediation and how it helps couples shift from defensiveness to understanding