Episode 39 – Maintaining Your Calm and Approaching Your Divorce Like a Business Transaction with Courtney Harkness, CDC, MBA

Welcome back to High Vibe Divorce! In this episode, Melissa is joined by Courtney Harkness, a Certified Divorce Coach (CDC) and MBA with a corporate background who now supports women through the emotional and financial complexities of divorce. Known for her calm, nonjudgmental presence and strategic mindset, Courtney helps clients detach from drama, set strong boundaries, and approach divorce like the high-stakes negotiation it truly is.

Together, Melissa and Courtney explore how to emotionally stabilize, set a strategic game plan, and execute your divorce with clarity and composure. From setting boundaries to managing high-conflict personalities, they share actionable tips for keeping your cool and protecting your peace—while still getting a fair deal.

Key Topics Covered:

• Why viewing divorce as a business transaction is empowering for women

• The three-step approach: Stabilize, Strategize, Execute

• How to manage emotional manipulation and financial secrecy

• Practical tools for responding (not reacting) to nasty texts or emails

• How not reacting is your divorce superpower

• What to gather financially before working with a divorce coach

• Why narcissist labels don’t matter—and what to focus on instead

• The emotional letdown of being “officially” divorced—and how to prepare

• The vital role of a certified divorce coach in high-conflict or high-stakes cases

• Tips for spiritual grounding and post-divorce transformation

✨ Affirmation of the Episode: “I establish boundaries to support my freedom.”

Guest Info: Learn more about Courtney Harkness and her coaching services at elitedivorcehelp.com

Follow Courtney on Instagram: @elitedivorcehelp

Connect with Melissa: 🌐 highvibemediation.com 📸 Instagram: @highvibedivorce

🎧 If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review! Divorce can be isolating—share this episode with a friend who needs it and keep the support flowing.

Episode 38: Mortgage Assumptions and Home Ownership During Divorce with Tami Wollensak, CDLP

Host: Melissa Wheeler Farag, Family Law Mediator and Recovering Divorce Litigator Guest: Tami Wollensak, Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP) and VP at New American Funding

Navigating real estate during divorce doesn’t have to add unnecessary stress to an already emotional time. In this insightful episode, Melissa sits down for a second conversation with Tami Wollensak, a nationally licensed mortgage loan originator and Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®). Tami shares her expertise on what divorcing homeowners need to know about mortgage assumptions, the real cost of keeping the marital home, and how to make fully informed, financially sound decisions about real estate during divorce.

If you're considering keeping your house after divorce—or you're curious about your mortgage options—this is essential listening.

• The emotional vs. financial reality of keeping the marital home

• Understanding mortgage assumptions: What they are, how they work, and how divorce impacts eligibility

• The importance of budgeting for home maintenance and unexpected expenses post-divorce

• How spousal support and child support affect mortgage qualifications

• Why "house poor" isn't a vibe: balancing financial stability and emotional needs

• Common pitfalls with loan assumptions, home equity lines, and timing considerations

• The case for renting after divorce—and why it can be a financially wise, low-stress choice

Tami Wollensak, CDLP is a Divorce Mortgage Specialist and VP with New American Funding. With over 30 years in the mortgage industry, Tami helps divorcing individuals nationwide find smarter, more stable home equity solutions. Her mission is to educate, empower, and remove anxiety from the mortgage process—offering peace of mind and a clear path forward during divorce.

• Connect with Tami:

  • Website: TakeOrLeaveTheHouse.com

  • Resources: EmpoweredUncoupling.com

  • Instagram: @tamiwollensakcdlp

• Episode 17: Tami’s first appearance on High Vibe Divorce: "Should I Take or Leave the Marital Residence?"

• TakeOrLeaveTheHouse.com for mortgage planning tools

• EmpoweredUncoupling.com for real estate and divorce education

• Website: HighVibeMediation.com

• Instagram:

  • Mediation: @highvibemediation

  • Podcast: @highvibedivorce

If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review! And don't forget to share with a friend who could use some support navigating divorce.

🌟 Until next time, keep the vibes high and the conflict low.

Host: Melissa Wheeler Farag, California Family Law Mediator & Founder of High Vibe Mediation Podcast: High Vibe Divorce

In this episode, Melissa takes you behind the scenes of the entire divorce mediation process—from first inquiry to final agreement. Whether you're considering mediation, are in the early stages of separation, or simply curious about how it works, this episode is your step-by-step guide to what really happens during divorce mediation.

Melissa, a former litigator turned mediator, shares the exact process she uses in her California-based practice, including how mediation can save time, money, and emotional energy. With insights from her training in Insight Mediation and her background as a Co-Parenting Specialist, she explains how mediation fosters clarity, safety, and self-determination for separating couples.

• 🌀 What is divorce mediation? Voluntary, confidential, out-of-court, and built on neutrality—not judgment.

• 📅 The step-by-step process: Intake → Mediation Agreement → Goal Setting → Financial Disclosures → Joint Sessions → Negotiation → Drafting the Agreement → Filing with the Court

• 👩‍⚖️ Mediator vs. Attorney vs. Judge: Understanding the neutral role of a mediator and why they don’t make decisions or offer legal advice.

• 💻 Virtual & flat-fee mediation in California: How Zoom sessions and flat-rate pricing create accessibility and financial clarity.

• 🧠 Insight Mediation in action: Exploring the roots of conflict, defensive reactions, and how curiosity can transform combative dynamics.

• 👶 Child-centered parenting plans: Crafting plans that reflect a child’s routine, needs, and developmental stage—fitting the parents around the child, not the other way around.

• 💡 When is mediation the right fit? Best for couples who want to avoid court, keep control over the outcome, and co-create a more peaceful post-divorce life.

• 🔁 Modifying agreements post-divorce: Why many families return to mediation for parenting plan updates or other tweaks—without going back to court.

“Peace begins with clarity.” Let this episode be your invitation to slow down, get informed, and find the clarity you need to move forward with peace and purpose.

• 🖥️ Book a free discovery call: HighVibeMediation.com

• 📸 Connect on Instagram: @HighVibeMediation | @HighVibeDivorce

• Want to learn how mediation actually works (without the legal jargon)

• Are exploring amicable divorce options

• Need a peaceful, streamlined alternative to court

• Are curious about Insight Mediation and how it helps couples shift from defensiveness to understanding

🎙️ Episode 36 – Worth and Wealth: Redefining Divorce and Finances with Heather Reeves, CDFA

In this deeply empowering episode, Melissa is joined by her longtime friend and fellow divorce professional, Heather Reeves—a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), Certified Divorce Coach, licensed real estate broker, and founder of Origin Coaching and Consulting. Together, they explore the emotional and energetic roots of financial anxiety in divorce, especially for women, and how to shift from fear to empowered clarity.

Heather brings a holistic approach that blends financial strategy, somatic coaching, and lived experience. With expertise in corporate finance, real estate, and transpersonal psychology, she helps clients move through divorce with grounded confidence and a renewed sense of self-worth.

🔑 In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How financial anxiety contributes to both staying in and leaving a marriage

• The impact of somatic and energetic tools for money-related stress

• What a CDFA does—and why it can be more cost-effective than relying solely on attorneys

• How to reframe money as a tool of empowerment, not just a stressor

💬 Affirmation of the Episode: “You have been worthy to belong to love all along without any need to improve. In fact, you are love itself.”

Whether you’re navigating the fear of the unknown or beginning to dream of a brighter future, this episode will support you in building financial confidence and emotional resilience.

✨ Connect with Heather Reeves: 🌐 Website: coachingwithorigin.com 📸 Instagram: @coachingwithorigin

🌊 Connect with Host Melissa Wheeler Farag: 🌐 Website: highvibedivorce.com 📸 Instagram: @highvibedivorce

Affirmation of the Episode: ✨ “Let me be open to courageously take the steps that are shown.” This episode invites you to open your heart and mind to the support, guidance, and next steps that can lead you through divorce with greater ease, intention, and transformation.

In this powerful and insightful episode, I’m joined by James Traub, Certified Divorce Coach (CDC) and founder of Best Possible Divorce. James helps parents across the country navigate the critical early stages of separation with compassion, clarity, and practical strategy. Drawing from both professional training and his own healing journey, James specializes in guiding clients through emotional overwhelm so they can protect parent-child bonds and minimize the financial and emotional cost of divorce.

Together, we explore:

• Why intentionality is essential in divorce—and how to cultivate it

• The CDC certification and what makes divorce coaching such a vital support tool

• Why hiring the right support team (yes, more than just one lawyer!) can actually save money

• The most common mindset mistakes people make in divorce

• The truth about venting—and what to do instead

• Reclaiming power and staying in the driver’s seat of your divorce

• How to re-engage communication with your spouse—even after conflict

• The value of working with grounded, emotionally regulated professionals

• How divorce can be a catalyst for transformation

💡 James shares his thoughtful, grounded approach to helping clients get clear on what they want their post-divorce life to look like, and how to reverse-engineer the support and decisions needed to get there. Whether you’re contemplating divorce, in the midst of it, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers wisdom, strategy, and hope.

• 🌐 Website: bestpossibledivorce.com

• 📞 Book a free 45-minute consultation here

• 💼 Follow him on LinkedIn for incredibly helpful infographics and insights

• 💻 Website: HighVibeDivorce.com

• 📱 Instagram: @highvibemediation | @highvibedivorce

• Please subscribe, rate, and review on your favorite podcast platform

• Share this episode with someone who could use support and inspiration on their divorce journey

Until next time, keep the vibes high and the conflict low. ✨

🎙 Episode 34 — Transforming Betrayal: Navigating Divorce and Healing with Dr. Debi Silber

Welcome back to High Vibe Divorce! In this powerful episode, Melissa sits down with Dr. Debi Silber, a holistic psychologist, bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) Institute, to talk about something many divorcing individuals experience—but rarely understand deeply: betrayal.

Whether you’ve been cheated on, blindsided by divorce papers, or deceived in other painful ways, this episode offers validating insights, hope, and tools for healing. Dr. Debi shares her own story of deep betrayal and how it launched her groundbreaking PhD study on betrayal trauma, leading to three major discoveries that are helping people all over the world transform their pain into power.

Together, Melissa and Dr. Debi explore:

• What makes betrayal trauma different from other forms of trauma

• The 5 stages of Post Betrayal Transformation—and how to move through them

• Why staying stuck in pain (stage 3!) is more common than you think

• How betrayal affects your body, mind, and relationships—and how to begin healing

• The surprising ways betrayal may be tied to chronic health issues, anxiety, and difficulty trusting

• The power of deliberate healing and how your divorce can become a launchpad for personal transformation

• Why revenge-based divorce tactics hurt you more than they help—and how slowing down the process can be a gift

• The real meaning of “hard now, easy later”

✨ Affirmation of the Episode (from the Divine Abundance Oracle Deck): "Freedom — I no longer want this fiery ring of resentment to block the good. Release me from its bonds."

💫 Whether you're in the throes of betrayal or supporting someone who is, this conversation is full of practical wisdom, deep compassion, and empowering perspective shifts. You’ll leave with a better understanding of how to reclaim your power, trust yourself again, and rebuild from the inside out.

RESOURCES & LINKS 🌐 Learn more about Dr. Debi Silber & take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com

🌀 About Dr. Debi Silber:

Dr. Debi Silber, Ph.D. is the founder of The PBT® (Post-Betrayal Transformation®) Institute as well as National Forgiveness Day (celebrated yearly on September 1st). She runs a WBENC-Certified WBE (Women’s Business Enterprise) company, is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset, and personal development expert, an award winning speaker, the author of Trust Again, The Rebuild Roadmap, and a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of The Unshakable Woman AND From Hardened to Healed.

Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts.

She’s also a Certified Personal Trainer, holistic Registered Dietitian with a Master’s in Nutrition earning specialty recognition in weight loss/weight maintenance, a Whole Health Coach, Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner, Certified in NES (BioEnergetics) Health, Emotion Code, Whole Person Integration Technique, is a Quantum Human Design Specialist, Quantum Alignment System Specialist, and is a Trauma Sensitive HeartMath Certified Practitioner.

Her Ph.D. study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that change how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice), and more, she’s an award-winning speaker and coach dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most.

📚 Books by Dr. Debi:

• Trust Again

• The Unshakable Woman

• From Hardened to Healed 🎧 Listen to Dr. Debi’s podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough

📱 Follow Dr. Debi on Instagram: @drdebisilber

CONNECT WITH MELISSA 🌀 Website: www.highvibedivorce.com 📸 Instagram: @highvibedivorce 🎙 Podcast: High Vibe Divorce — new episodes weekly 💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for affirmations, insights, and more

💖 If you loved this episode, please rate, review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Divorce isn’t the end—it’s your invitation to evolve.

#Divorce #KeepTheVibesHigh #HighVibeDivorce #BetrayalHealing #DivorceTransformation #PostBetrayalSyndrome

“Make Your Divorce an Up-Level, Not a Rock-Bottom” with Special Guest: Anna Wallace, Divorce Coach & Founder of Your Healthy Divorce

Episode Summary: In this powerful and inspiring conversation, I’m joined by Anna Wallace—attorney, yoga instructor, wellness mentor, and the visionary behind Your Healthy Divorce. Anna shares her personal journey from divorce litigation to divorce coaching, and how she created the Healthy Divorce Method to support the whole person—emotionally, mentally, financially, and spiritually—through the divorce process.

Together, we explore how divorce doesn’t have to be your rock bottom. With the right support, it can be a beautiful opportunity for growth, clarity, and up-leveling your life.

What We Cover in This Episode:

• How the Healthy Divorce Method integrates nervous system regulation, legal planning, and transformational coaching

• The power of coaching vs. traditional litigation

• Why nervous system regulation is essential for smart, empowered decision-making

• What limited scope legal services really are—and how they can save you thousands

• Why divorce coaches are changing the game

• How yoga, breathwork, and somatic healing can help you alchemize grief into growth

• The emotional + financial cost of staying stuck in fight-or-flight

• What it means to have a divorce your future self will be proud of

Guest Info: 🌿 Anna Wallace, Divorce Coach & Founder of Your Healthy Divorce Instagram: @thehealthydivorce

Your Health Divorce: Course Link

👉 Anna offers 1:1 coaching, workshops, and her signature Healthy Divorce Course, launching February 1st. It’s packed with self-paced modules to help you stay calm, clear, and confident through your divorce process.

Affirmation of the Episode: ✨ “I am alive. I honor my life by letting go, dancing, singing, and feeling the fullness of my joyful energy. I am my true self when I am having fun.” — I AM Everything Deck

Connect with Me: 💻 HighVibeMediation.com 📸 Instagram: @highvibemediation | @highvibedivorce

If you loved this episode: 🌟 Please subscribe, rate & review on your favorite podcast platform. 📲 Share it with someone navigating divorce who needs a dose of hope, clarity, and calm. 💌 DM me your thoughts—I love hearing from you.

Until next time… Keep the vibes high and the conflict low.

Host: Melissa Farag, Divorce Mediator Guest: Dr. Kate Flynn, The Crisis Coach

In this transformative episode of High Vibe Divorce, I sit down with Dr. Kate Flynn, a developmental psychologist and crisis coach who helps individuals navigate high-stakes personal and professional crises. With a background in clinical psychology and entrepreneurship, Kate developed a framework for stabilizing chaos, supporting strategic decision-making, and helping individuals emerge from crisis with clarity and control.

Kate shares her personal journey through an unexpected life crisis—her ex-husband’s arrest—which forced her to rebuild every aspect of her life. Through this experience, she uncovered the power of post-traumatic growth, a psychological phenomenon where individuals can emerge from adversity stronger, more intentional, and more connected than ever before.

If you're facing a divorce or any major life crisis, this episode is packed with insights on how to shift from reacting to responding, regain control, and harness life’s toughest moments as a catalyst for growth.

🔹 What is a crisis coach? Kate explains how she helps clients navigate crisis and transition. 🔹 How to stabilize chaos – The first steps to regaining control in a difficult situation. 🔹 The role of radical acceptance in healing and moving forward. 🔹 Why post-traumatic growth is possible – and how to achieve it. 🔹 The importance of choosing the right professionals during a divorce. 🔹 Therapeutic tools for transformation, including EMDR, neurofeedback, IFS (Internal Family Systems), and more. 🔹 How divorce can be a catalyst for personal growth if approached with intention.

💬 "Crisis steals control. How you respond changes everything." – Dr. Kate Flynn 💬 "You can either stay stuck, regress, or use this moment to level up. The choice is yours." – Melissa Wheeler Farag 💬 "There is no going back to who you were before the crisis. But you get to decide if you become better or worse." – Dr. Kate Flynn

✨ Connect with Dr. Kate Flynn at TheCrisisCoach.com ✨ Book a free consultation with Kate: Click Here ✨ Follow Kate on LinkedIn: Dr. Kate Flynn

✨ Connect with Melissa Wheeler Farag: 🔹 Website: HighVibeMediation.com 🔹 Instagram: @highvibemediation | @highvibedivorce

🎧 If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend! Divorce can feel isolating, but together, we can transform it into something empowering.

Until next time, keep the vibes high and the conflict low! ✨💜