In today’s episode, Nicole Darby presents Tool Time, exploring schema therapy and unpacking BPD’s four dysfunctional modes; The Abandoned Child, Angry Child, Punitive Parent, and Detached Protector, while emphasizing the goal of a balanced Adult Mode. Then, Nicole also discusses the impact of support systems on managing BPD, offering actionable tips for building a community through “BPD Buddies.”

Following Tool Time, immerse yourself and unwind with a Mindful Moment featuring a guided gratitude meditation for self-compassion and inner peace.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Tool Time With Nicole Darby)

• 1:07 Intro to Tool Time
• 1:45 Term of The Day: Schema Therapy
• 2:24 BPD’s Four Dysfunctional Modes and Adult Mode
• 3:42 The Abandoned Child Mode
• 4:24 The Angry Child Mode
• 5:04 The Punitive Parent Mode
• 5:49 The Detached Protector Mode
• 6:30 The Goal: Adult Mode
• 6:55 True or False: Support Increases Improvement In Synonyms of BPD
• 7:44 Tool & Techniques: BPD Buddies & Ways for Success

(End of Tool Time With Nicole Darby)

(Beginning of Mindful Moment)

• 10:16 Intro to a Mindful Moment
• 10:44 Beginning of Gratitude Guided Meditation

(End of Mindful Moment)

• 19:27 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 19:50 BPD Daily Mantra
• 20:06 Outro
• 21:23 “I Am” by Beautiful Chorus featuring India.Arie: https://youtu.be/4gUY9QshcVQ?si=U1UVrfBsMprgc6-v

Episode Resources:

• Gratitude Guided Meditation - Female Voice by YaleUniversity: https://on.soundcloud.com/cSAsMux6cCexg5yi7

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby: presspause4grace@gmail.com

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

In today’s episode, Nicole, along with Dr. Gregory Serfer and Melanie Jones, dives into the true meaning of impulsivity in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and its impact on those affected and their supporters. They explore what impulsivity means for people with BPD (pwBPD), how to differentiate it from ADHD, and whether it can be destructive. Also, they examine theories behind impulsive behavior, discussing how it often manifests in those with BPD and the underlying drivers behind it. They discuss coping mechanisms, the impact on daily functionality, and how impulsivity often affects friends and family. Finally, they highlight how impulsivity connects to many defining traits of BPD, offering insights and support strategies throughout.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Dr. Gregory Serfer: contact@gregoryserfer.com

Book: “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

• Melanie Jones

Email: emmjay993@yahoo.com

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:07 Beginning Pleasantries with Gregory, Handsome Dan, Melanie, and Nicole
• 3:48 Impulsivity From Mel & Nicole’s Perspective
• 6:30 The True Meaning of Impulsivity and Its Impact on People with BPD (pwBPD)
• 13:48 Theories Behind Impulsivity Behavior Occurs for pwBPD
• 16:19 Clarifying Question: How Do I Know If I Have BPD or ADHD?
• 21:00 Is Impulsivity Destructive? Coping Mechanisms and Masking Impulsivity
• 31:28 Does Different Coping Methods Lead to Low or High Functionality?
• 44:04 How Impulsive Behavior Impacts the Supporting Individuals Around pwBPD
• 48:46 Many Definitive Criteria of BPD Are Connected Through Impulsivity
• 53:09 Mel’s Final Words and Nicole’s Perspective on Impulsivity
• 57:17 Dr.Gregory’s Final Words: The Effect of Alcohol on Impulsivity

(End of Interview)

• 1:02:31 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 1:02:52 BPD Daily Mantra
• 1:03:09 Outro
• 1:04:25 “Little Things” (Remix) by Jorja Smith ft MayDay: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xA9byN3fzks

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby: presspause4grace@gmail.com

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

In today’s episode, Nicole Darby presents a special “Tool Time” segment, diving into practical mental health tools and strategies for managing BPD and life’s daily stressors. Starting with an introduction to Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO-DBT), Nicole explains the key differences between traditional DBT and RO-DBT. She follows this with a series of helpful techniques, to assist you in planning before you go.

After “Tool Time,” Nicole transitions into a relaxing “Mindful Moment,” guiding listeners through a meditation aimed at improving productivity, focus, and prioritization skills. This segment is perfect for those looking to boost mental clarity and feel more grounded throughout the day.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Tool Time With Nicole Darby)

• 1:07 Intro to Tool Time
• 1:45 Term of The Day: Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO-DBT)
• 2:42 The Key Differences Between DBT and RO-DBT
• 4:03 Tool & Techniques: Plan Before You Go, Outfit of Armor, Music, Etc
• 7:44 Tool & Techniques: Three, Three, Three Grounding Technique

(End of Tool Time with Nicole Darby)

(Beginning of Mindful Moment)

• 8:30 Intro to a Mindful Moment
• 8:47 Beginning of Meditation To Boost Your Productivity, Focus & Prioritization Skills

(End of Mindful Moment)

• 26:18 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 26:40 BPD Daily Mantra
• 26:57 Outro
• 28:17 “Surely Slowly” by Jill Scott: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gu_zgEKCC1Q

Episode Resources:

• Meditation to Boost Your Productivity, Focus & Prioritization Skills + Hypnosis and Affirmations by Meditable Goal Meditations: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1JOIOWOld0
• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darbyl: presspause4grace@gmail.com

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle