Silent contracts filled with expectations usually lead to disappointment and communication breakdowns. This is gonna lead to some "A words!" You know, we could probably name this episode "The A Words!"

What "A" words you ask? Agreements (oh yeah, much better!) and Awareness (ok, now we're talking!). In this episode we're going to discuss how to use Awareness so you can cancel those bad silent contracts and more toward creating powerful Agreements!

Let's go parents! Let's stop parenting and start coaching!!

The Takeaways

• Silent contracts can create misunderstandings in relationships.
• Assumptions often lead to negative outcomes in communication.
• Agreements are more sound than flimsy assumptions.
• Awareness of past silent contracts can help in parenting.
• Constant communication is essential for aligning expectations.
• Parents should ask their teens about their perceived expectations.
• Effort in communication can save time and reduce guilt when expectations are not met.
• Aligning expectations with teens can empower them to succeed.
• Canceling silent contracts can build trust in relationships.
• Open dialogues can help clarify assumptions and expectations.

Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

New episodes drop every MONDAY.

We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast!

We'd be even more grateful (if that's possible) if you would like, review, comment or SHARE an episode wherever you find us. This helps us to become more visible to other Most Valuable Parents like yourselves--thank you!

And, there’s more–there always isn't there?! If you’ve read this far you probably are totally nerdy and giddy about helping teen athletes and performers to excel. Well, we do too and that’s why we’re creating parent, uh coaching tools/courses/coaching at createtransformbecome.com. Check it out where you can pick up our 100% Free QOC Tool for parents (The Question Only Conversation!).

-Nate & Steve

Parents, what scoreboard are you using to measure your teen's success—and is it hurting more than helping? And, what scoreboard are they using to measure success—and is it creating momentum or stress in their lives?

Do you ever wonder if your teen is chasing results just to keep you happy—or worse, to feel worthy? We’re digging into that "silent contract" so many families carry without talking about it. You’ll walk away with tools to separate your teen’s performance from their identity, and strategies for helping them craft a scoreboard that reflects who they really want to become.

Find the Stuff You Want!

00:00 Defining Success: Momentum vs. Stress

01:59 Reflective Questions for Parents

06:01 Understanding Silent Contracts in Success

09:59 The Importance of Identity in Success

13:54 Different Scoreboards: Aligning Definitions of Success

19:59 Opportunities in Meltdowns: Growth Mindset

23:56 The Scoreboard Course--Creating Your Own Scoreboard for Success

The Takeaways!

-The way we define success can create momentum or stress.

-Reflective questions help parents understand their own definition of success.

-"Silent contracts" can exist in relationships without being discussed.

-It's crucial for teens to separate their identity from their performance.

-Parents should encourage their kids to define success for themselves.

-Meltdowns can be opportunities for growth and understanding.

-Creating a personal scoreboard helps measure success in a meaningful way.

-Chasing results can lead to dissatisfaction and a never-ending pursuit.

Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

New episodes drop every MONDAY.

We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast!

We'd be even more grateful (if that's possible) if you would like, review, comment or SHARE an episode wherever you find us. This helps us to become more visible to other Most Valuable Parents like yourselves--thank you!

And, there’s more–there always isn't there?! If you’ve read this far you probably are totally nerdy and giddy about helping teen athletes and performers to excel. Well, we do too and that’s why we’re creating parent, uh coaching tools/courses/coaching at createtransformbecome.com. Check it out where you can pick up our 100% Free QOC Tool for parents (The Question Only Conversation!).

-Nate & Steve

Parenting teens isn’t about talking more — it’s about asking better. Discover the Question Only Tool today. Every parent wants their teen to succeed. But success doesn’t come from micromanaging — it comes from ownership. In this episode, we show you how to use The Question Only Conversation to guide your teen toward greater autonomy, confidence, and motivation — all while strengthening your bond.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Teen Wisdom

03:51 The Shift from Parenting to Coaching

07:55 Empowering Teens Through Questions

10:02 The Power of Inquiry-Based Conversations

11:53 Real-Life Examples: Jason's Track Success

15:01 Maya's Dance Audition Journey

17:58 Lessons from Phil Jackson's Coaching Style

20:58 Implementing The Question Only Conversation (QOC)

Gold Nuggets

-Teens often possess wisdom that parents may overlook.

-Shifting from parenting to coaching can enhance relationships.

-Asking questions can empower teens to express their thoughts.

-Unsolicited advice can hinder a teen's sense of autonomy.

-Question Only Conversation is a powerful tool for parents.

-Building a relationship based on respect leads to better communication.

-Teens need to feel ownership of their successes.

-Self-determination theory emphasizes autonomy, mastery, and connection.

-Effective communication can prevent breakdowns in relationships.

-Parents should act as mirrors to help teens process their experiences.

Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

New episodes drop every MONDAY.

We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast!

We'd be even more grateful if you would like, review, or comment or SHARE an episode from any of the platforms where you find us. This helps us to become more visible to other Most Valuable Parents--thank you!

And, there’s more–there always isn't there?! If you’ve read this far you probably are totally nerdy and giddy about helping teen athletes and performers to excel. Well, we do too and that’s why we’re creating parent, uh coaching tools/courses/coaching at createtransformbecome.com. Check it out where you can pick up our 100% Free QOC Tool for parents (The Question Only Conversation!).

-Nate & Steve