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What do you get when three degenerates dig up cringey home videos, debate astronaut nut trajectories, and confess to hoarding junk like emotional support USB cables? Pure, unfiltered chaos—welcome to The Funky Panther.

Javier stumbles upon a camcorder from his hormone-riddled youth and unleashes footage so humiliating it should be classified under the Geneva Convention. Naturally, this spirals into a confessional about the crap we cling to for no reason—shoeboxes, old tech, and probably some repressed trauma. Oh, and let’s not forget the cursed GoPro currently marinating in Lake Texoma that allegedly holds footage too spicy for YouTube.

Then it gets weirder. The guys dive into NASA’s recent astronaut rescue, but instead of celebrating science, they spiral into a fever dream of surviving space madness armed only with early-2000s music videos and a questionable Wi-Fi signal. And yes, we go there: bodily fluids in zero gravity. Spoiler alert—it's not as poetic as Interstellar.

Things heat up when the crew debates whether paying $500 to breathe the same air as a celebrity is dumb or dangerously horny. Plus, they test their sanity with “AI or Insane Person?”—because in 2025, your toaster might be smarter (and sassier) than your last Tinder date.

Is talking to your dog cute, or are we just one step away from marrying Alexa? Find out in this gloriously unhinged episode full of hot takes, cold regrets, and existential dread wrapped in a tortilla of dark humor.

#SpaceJizz #CringeCore #AIvsPsycho #FunkyPantherUnleashed #LostFootage #DigitalDumpsterDive

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We've all been there—stomach rumbling, cold sweat forming, and no bathroom in sight. In this episode, we expose our most humiliating, panic-inducing bathroom disasters that will make you grateful for every flushable toilet you've ever encountered. From desperate public dump decisions to fully-naked survival tactics, this is the episode you never knew you needed.

Then, we take a hard left into insanity with the "Brown Note" conspiracy—a sound frequency rumored to make you lose total bowel control. Is it real? Has the military secretly tested it as a weapon? And more importantly, could we use it for evil?

Also in this episode:

• Chad’s Olympic-level ladder-climbing obsession (because why not?)
• Tim’s post-dental drugged-up adventure at Trader Joe’s (bad decisions were made)
• Javier infiltrates the Fort Worth music scene (or does he?)
• Kanye West’s latest Nazi-inspired fashion disaster (yep, he’s still talking)
• Local legend Abraham Alexander gets screwed at the Oscars (Hollywood hates Texas)
• Florida Man swallows $769K in stolen jewelry (because of course he does)

Five years and 193 episodes later, we’re still serving up zero-filter, unhinged conversations that you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you’re a die-hard fan or a first-time listener, welcome to the wildest corner of the internet.

#PublicPoopHorrors #BrownNoteWeapon #KanyeWest #OscarsAreRigged #FloridaManMadness

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Fort Worth Magazine
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The unthinkable has happened—Luka Dončić has been snatched from the Dallas Mavericks and shipped off to the Lakers, leaving us spiraling into a full-blown existential crisis. But was this just another ruthless NBA business move, or is Mark Cuban playing 4D chess to tank the franchise and relocate to Vegas? The conspiracy theories are flying faster than trade rumors, and we’re here to break it all down—mock funerals, fan meltdowns, and all.

As we wrestle with whether to abandon our beloved Mavs for the Celtics (traitorous, we know), a pregnant stray cat crashes our recording session—because apparently, even animals can sense Dallas’s pain. Meanwhile, airline chaos has us questioning if flying is even worth it anymore. Delta flights flipping? Mid-air collisions? Maybe we should all just stay home.

Oh, and we’re celebrating five years of The Funky Panther! From surviving the pandemic to interviewing a friend who was wrongfully jailed and extradited, we've seen some wild times. Tune in for a raw, hilarious, and slightly unhinged discussion on sports heartbreak, travel paranoia, and the madness of modern life. Hit us up @TheFunkyPanther and let’s commiserate.

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CALL OR TEXT OUR HOTLINE AND LEAVE US A MESSAGE! 817-677-0408

Fort Worth Magazine
Best of 2022 - Radio Personality/Podcast (Reader's Pick)

Show Links
The Funky Panther
Merch
YouTube