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$350 champagne with a greasy burger? That’s the kind of culinary anarchy we’re bringing to Episode 190 of The Funky Panther. Mikey finally resurfaces after three years of hiding—probably avoiding our calls—and we’re diving face-first into Fort Worth’s wine scene. Magnolia Wine Bar, 61 Osteria, Bowie House… yeah, we’re basically sommeliers now, except we pair everything with fries. Oh, and did we mention our AI Christmas album? It’s either a masterpiece or a cry for help—jury’s still out.

This episode’s a beautiful dumpster fire of chaos: slap bets, wild bouncer stories, a musician who writes literal poop songs, and our half-baked plan to charm every “Jimmy” in late-night TV into putting us on their shows. We’re also debating natural wine fermentation (spoiler: it’s fancy rot) and dreaming about distilleries because clearly, we don’t drink enough.

As we kick 2024 to the curb, we’re celebrating weddings, Navy dropouts, and career overhauls—all with the kind of reckless humor you’ve come to love (or tolerate). So, grab a drink—or five—and let’s send this trashfire of a year off with the laughter, insanity, and questionable life choices it deserves.

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What if your cowboy hat wasn’t just a fashion flex but a gateway to your final form? This week, The Funky Panther goes full identity crisis, morphing from smooth-talking Charlie Crockett to full-throttle Tiger King insanity. It’s less "saddle up" and more "unhinge completely." We also crack open the cursed tomb of The Guy Game (yes, that sleazy relic) and roast the depravity of the “Girls Gone Wild” era. Spoiler: Some ‘90s nostalgia should stay buried.

Then it’s off to Texas, where THC gummies are legal (kinda), booze ads are everywhere, and Kratom’s about to get whacked by Big Brother. We’re pulling back the curtain on the lawmakers and holy-rollers trying to legislate your vices like they’ve never sinned before. Spoiler alert: They have. If you’re wondering why weed is still a felony but you can buy tequila at Target, congrats, you’ve cracked the American paradox.

But wait—it gets darker. Somewhere out there, an insurance CEO is very dead under some very suspicious circumstances, and we’re side-eyeing capitalism harder than ever. Corporate America has a body count, and we’re connecting the dots. Greed, power, and “unexplained deaths” tend to walk hand-in-hand, don’t they? Throw in some dental nightmare fuel and a debate on whether to scalp your Texas A&M tickets, and you’ve got a perfect storm of chaos, crime, and capitalism’s rotting core.

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This week, we’re unpacking a travel nightmare where personal space gets tossed out the window, literally. Add in ghost sightings at the infamous Crescent Hotel and TV shows awkwardly sidestepping 9/11, and you’ve got a recipe for unsettling hilarity. Oh, and switching our allegiance from the Dallas Cowboys to Gilmore Girls? Yeah, we went there.

Virtual reality isn’t much better—what’s supposed to be the future of tech feels more like a cesspool of humanity’s worst impulses. It’s giving old-school gaming lobbies but with shinier graphics and just as much chaos. Meanwhile, Eureka Springs delivers haunted hotels and scenic hillsides, proving it’s equal parts charm and creep. And Jamie Kennedy’s comedy show? Let’s just say live performances don’t always go as planned.

We also dive into the gritty reality of local life: Shaq playing DJ like it’s the end of the world, cops popping into our lives at the worst moments, and a breakfast joint that feels like the only stable thing in this mess of a timeline. Between spotlighting artists on Amplify817 and unpacking the ridiculous intersection of privacy and spectacle, this episode doesn’t flinch from the absurd.

Forget neat conclusions or feel-good fluff—this is raw, messy, and real. Haunted hotels, public voyeurism, and existential musings: welcome to The Funky Panther, where laughter and unease go hand in hand. #HauntedAndHungry #VirtualInsanity #TheFunkyPanther

CALL OR TEXT OUR HOTLINE AND LEAVE US A MESSAGE! 817-677-0408

Fort Worth Magazine
Best of 2022 - Radio Personality/Podcast (Reader's Pick)

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The Funky Panther
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