In this enlightening episode of The School of Resilience, Dr. Maria Bargeman walks listeners through a transformative four-step process to navigate and calm emotional chaos. She explains how emotions follow a natural cycle—appearing, growing, peaking, and subsiding—and offers practical tools for interrupting this cycle when it feels overwhelming. By pausing and naming your emotions, using tools like the emotional feeling wheel, and reflecting on your internal narrative, you can regain clarity and control in emotionally charged moments.

Dr. Bargeman emphasizes the importance of getting specific about your feelings. She introduces the concept of primary, secondary, and tertiary emotions, urging listeners to dig deeper into their emotional experiences. By identifying the story or narrative behind these feelings, we can uncover the root causes of emotional spirals and begin to navigate our way toward healing and self-awareness. This deeper understanding allows for reframing emotions in a way that empowers rather than overwhelms.

To wrap up, Dr. Bargeman shares a powerful strategy for rewriting emotional stories without dismissing past experiences. She introduces the idea of adding an “and” to your story, enabling a more compassionate and balanced perspective. Dr. Bargeman also invites listeners to explore her free resource, the Trauma Resilient Equation, which has been instrumental in her own recovery journey. Visit mariabargeman.com/tre to access this transformative tool and take your first steps toward emotional resilience.

1. Pause and Name Your Feelings: Acknowledge your emotions by identifying the primary emotion you’re experiencing. Tools like the emotional feeling wheel can help create distance from emotional overwhelm.
2. Dig Deeper into Your Emotions: Explore secondary and tertiary emotions for a more nuanced understanding of your feelings, as different emotions often require different approaches to healing.
3. Reframe Your Emotional Story: Add an “and” to your narrative to acknowledge your lived experiences while expanding your perspective. This empowers you to see the bigger picture without invalidating your feelings.
4. Access Free Resources: Dr. Bargeman shares her free tool, the Trauma Resilient Equation, at mariabargeman.com/tre, offering a roadmap to healing from past trauma and building emotional resilience.

Understanding the right pacing for trauma recovery is a crucial yet often overlooked step in the healing journey. Dr. Maria Bargeman outlines how to determine a personalized pace that aligns with your emotional capacity and life circumstances. Through her "traffic light" metaphor, she explains how green, yellow, and red emotional states can guide your approach to processing trauma. This ensures you can progress without overwhelming your nervous system or stalling your growth.

In this episode, Dr. Bargeman emphasizes the importance of evaluating your current life responsibilities, self-care practices, and social supports. She offers practical advice on how to recognize your emotional bandwidth and adapt your healing work accordingly. From building emotional regulation skills to setting boundaries with others, her insights provide a roadmap for creating a safe and effective healing environment.

Dr. Maria Bargeman is a trauma recovery expert, committed to helping individuals reclaim their lives from the impact of trauma. Her compassionate approach combines scientific knowledge with actionable strategies. Learn more about Dr. Bargeman and her work at mariabargeman.com/about.

1. Pace Your Healing: Finding the right pace for trauma recovery involves assessing your emotional stability, daily energy levels, and life responsibilities.
2. Build Resilience: Develop emotional regulation skills and self-care practices to create a solid foundation for healing.
3. Leverage Support: Strong social connections and healthy boundaries can make the healing journey less isolating and more sustainable.
4. Stay Flexible: Life circumstances change; adapt your pacing to ensure progress without overwhelming yourself.

Embarking on a healing journey from trauma can often feel like climbing a mountain. In this episode of The School of Resilience, Dr. Maria Bargeman emphasizes the importance of having the "right fit" for your self-regulation tools and strategies. Much like trying to hike a mountain in ill-fitting boots, using self-care strategies that don’t suit you will inevitably hinder progress. Dr. Bargeman highlights the need for personalized self-regulation tools that cater to each individual's unique emotional triggers and contexts. From dealing with emotional hijacking to creating proactive plans for stressful environments, she explains why one-size-fits-all solutions rarely work and why finding what fits you best is essential for emotional growth and resilience.

Dr. Bargeman shares relatable personal experiences to illustrate how self-regulation looks different for everyone. While her friend finds calm through drawing and music, she finds clarity and grounding through trail running. The key takeaway? Your self-regulation strategy must be unique to you. Dr. Bargeman also offers practical guidance on creating contingency plans for trauma triggers. From using music and movement to calm the nervous system to pre-recording voice memos for emotional reassurance, she provides actionable tools for listeners to stay emotionally grounded when faced with sudden triggers. These tools are essential for navigating intense emotional states and regaining composure.

The episode concludes with a deeper discussion on emotional pacing and the value of having support systems in place. Dr. Bargeman stresses the importance of flexibility and open communication with loved ones, employers, and support networks when navigating emotional challenges. By creating trauma trigger contingency plans, like setting clear communication expectations or building in "check-in" moments, listeners can prevent emotional overwhelm. This episode is a powerful reminder that healing is not a solo journey. The right equipment, proper pacing, and a compassionate support network are all essential for success. Learn more about Dr. Maria Bargeman's unique approach to trauma recovery at mariabargeman.com and follow her journey on Instagram at @resilienttraumarecovery.

1. The Importance of the Right Fit: Healing from trauma is like climbing a mountain — the right tools and self-regulation strategies are essential. What works for one person may not work for another, and success comes from finding the strategies that fit your unique needs.
2. Personalized Contingency Plans: Prepare for emotional hijacking moments by creating trauma trigger contingency plans. These pre-planned strategies — like listening to music, doing physical activity, or using voice memos — can help ground you in moments of overwhelm.
3. Support Systems Matter: Healing isn't a solo journey. Effective communication with loved ones, work colleagues, and support systems is essential for navigating emotional challenges. Create clear communication plans, set expectations, and allow space for self-compassion as you work toward emotional stability and growth.