In this enlightening episode of The School of Resilience, Dr. Maria Bargeman walks listeners through a transformative four-step process to navigate and calm emotional chaos. She explains how emotions follow a natural cycle—appearing, growing, peaking, and subsiding—and offers practical tools for interrupting this cycle when it feels overwhelming. By pausing and naming your emotions, using tools like the emotional feeling wheel, and reflecting on your internal narrative, you can regain clarity and control in emotionally charged moments.

Dr. Bargeman emphasizes the importance of getting specific about your feelings. She introduces the concept of primary, secondary, and tertiary emotions, urging listeners to dig deeper into their emotional experiences. By identifying the story or narrative behind these feelings, we can uncover the root causes of emotional spirals and begin to navigate our way toward healing and self-awareness. This deeper understanding allows for reframing emotions in a way that empowers rather than overwhelms.

To wrap up, Dr. Bargeman shares a powerful strategy for rewriting emotional stories without dismissing past experiences. She introduces the idea of adding an “and” to your story, enabling a more compassionate and balanced perspective. Dr. Bargeman also invites listeners to explore her free resource, the Trauma Resilient Equation, which has been instrumental in her own recovery journey. Visit mariabargeman.com/tre to access this transformative tool and take your first steps toward emotional resilience.

1. Pause and Name Your Feelings: Acknowledge your emotions by identifying the primary emotion you’re experiencing. Tools like the emotional feeling wheel can help create distance from emotional overwhelm.
2. Dig Deeper into Your Emotions: Explore secondary and tertiary emotions for a more nuanced understanding of your feelings, as different emotions often require different approaches to healing.
3. Reframe Your Emotional Story: Add an “and” to your narrative to acknowledge your lived experiences while expanding your perspective. This empowers you to see the bigger picture without invalidating your feelings.
4. Access Free Resources: Dr. Bargeman shares her free tool, the Trauma Resilient Equation, at mariabargeman.com/tre, offering a roadmap to healing from past trauma and building emotional resilience.

Understanding the right pacing for trauma recovery is a crucial yet often overlooked step in the healing journey. Dr. Maria Bargeman outlines how to determine a personalized pace that aligns with your emotional capacity and life circumstances. Through her "traffic light" metaphor, she explains how green, yellow, and red emotional states can guide your approach to processing trauma. This ensures you can progress without overwhelming your nervous system or stalling your growth.

In this episode, Dr. Bargeman emphasizes the importance of evaluating your current life responsibilities, self-care practices, and social supports. She offers practical advice on how to recognize your emotional bandwidth and adapt your healing work accordingly. From building emotional regulation skills to setting boundaries with others, her insights provide a roadmap for creating a safe and effective healing environment.

Dr. Maria Bargeman is a trauma recovery expert, committed to helping individuals reclaim their lives from the impact of trauma. Her compassionate approach combines scientific knowledge with actionable strategies. Learn more about Dr. Bargeman and her work at mariabargeman.com/about.

1. Pace Your Healing: Finding the right pace for trauma recovery involves assessing your emotional stability, daily energy levels, and life responsibilities.
2. Build Resilience: Develop emotional regulation skills and self-care practices to create a solid foundation for healing.
3. Leverage Support: Strong social connections and healthy boundaries can make the healing journey less isolating and more sustainable.
4. Stay Flexible: Life circumstances change; adapt your pacing to ensure progress without overwhelming yourself.

Embarking on a healing journey from trauma can often feel like climbing a mountain. In this episode of The School of Resilience, Dr. Maria Bargeman emphasizes the importance of having the "right fit" for your self-regulation tools and strategies. Much like trying to hike a mountain in ill-fitting boots, using self-care strategies that don’t suit you will inevitably hinder progress. Dr. Bargeman highlights the need for personalized self-regulation tools that cater to each individual's unique emotional triggers and contexts. From dealing with emotional hijacking to creating proactive plans for stressful environments, she explains why one-size-fits-all solutions rarely work and why finding what fits you best is essential for emotional growth and resilience.

Dr. Bargeman shares relatable personal experiences to illustrate how self-regulation looks different for everyone. While her friend finds calm through drawing and music, she finds clarity and grounding through trail running. The key takeaway? Your self-regulation strategy must be unique to you. Dr. Bargeman also offers practical guidance on creating contingency plans for trauma triggers. From using music and movement to calm the nervous system to pre-recording voice memos for emotional reassurance, she provides actionable tools for listeners to stay emotionally grounded when faced with sudden triggers. These tools are essential for navigating intense emotional states and regaining composure.

The episode concludes with a deeper discussion on emotional pacing and the value of having support systems in place. Dr. Bargeman stresses the importance of flexibility and open communication with loved ones, employers, and support networks when navigating emotional challenges. By creating trauma trigger contingency plans, like setting clear communication expectations or building in "check-in" moments, listeners can prevent emotional overwhelm. This episode is a powerful reminder that healing is not a solo journey. The right equipment, proper pacing, and a compassionate support network are all essential for success. Learn more about Dr. Maria Bargeman's unique approach to trauma recovery at mariabargeman.com and follow her journey on Instagram at @resilienttraumarecovery.

1. The Importance of the Right Fit: Healing from trauma is like climbing a mountain — the right tools and self-regulation strategies are essential. What works for one person may not work for another, and success comes from finding the strategies that fit your unique needs.
2. Personalized Contingency Plans: Prepare for emotional hijacking moments by creating trauma trigger contingency plans. These pre-planned strategies — like listening to music, doing physical activity, or using voice memos — can help ground you in moments of overwhelm.
3. Support Systems Matter: Healing isn't a solo journey. Effective communication with loved ones, work colleagues, and support systems is essential for navigating emotional challenges. Create clear communication plans, set expectations, and allow space for self-compassion as you work toward emotional stability and growth.

In this episode of The School of Resilience, Dr. Maria Bargeman delves into the nuances of emotional healing and trauma recovery. She highlights that the path to healing is not one-size-fits-all and emphasizes the importance of choosing the right therapeutic approach at the right time. Drawing on her personal experiences and clinical expertise, Dr. Maria illustrates how the wrong therapy or timing can create setbacks. She introduces three pathways to healing: the top-down approach (mind), the bottom-up approach (body), and the inner core approach (sense of self). These pathways align with the key impacts of trauma and provide a framework for holistic recovery.

Dr. Maria outlines how individuals can determine their ideal starting point for healing based on their emotional and physical state. For example, if a person struggles with a chaotic mind or dissociation, they might need to establish safety and grounding before diving into cognitive or body-based therapies. By using visualization exercises, cultivating a sense of emotional safety, and practicing curiosity, individuals can reconnect with themselves and identify their next steps on the journey to healing. This episode empowers listeners to navigate their healing journey with confidence and clarity.

Dr. Maria emphasizes that healing is a deeply personal process, requiring tailored support and tools. She encourages listeners to find the therapeutic approach that resonates with their unique needs and circumstances. With compassion and expertise, she guides them to avoid self-blame when therapy feels stagnant and instead evaluate whether the approach itself might be the issue. For more guidance on choosing the right path, Dr. Maria invites listeners to explore her resources and connect through her website mariabargeman.com.

1. Tailored Healing Paths: Emotional healing requires a personalized approach. Understanding whether to start with the mind, body, or sense of self can significantly impact the effectiveness of therapy.
2. Avoiding Setbacks: Choosing the wrong type of therapy or starting point can lead to frustration and feelings of being stuck. Recognizing these challenges is key to overcoming them.
3. Foundation of Safety: Establishing a sense of safety—both emotional and physical—is essential before engaging in deeper therapeutic work. Visualization and curiosity can help create this foundation.
4. Holistic Integration: Trauma impacts the mind, body, and self, and full recovery requires addressing all these dimensions through a comprehensive approach.
5. Empowerment Through Knowledge: Understanding your unique needs and therapeutic options enables you to take control of your healing journey and reach your fully healed self.

In this episode of The School of Resilience, Dr. Maria Bargeman emphasizes the importance of choosing the right guide for your trauma healing journey. Healing from trauma is deeply personal, and the right guide—whether a licensed professional, trauma-informed coach, or peer supporter—can make or break your progress. Dr. Bargeman provides actionable advice on how to screen potential guides, ensuring they are compassionate, experienced, and capable of tailoring their approach to your unique needs. Trust, she explains, is not a given but something that must be earned through humility and emotional intelligence.

Dr. Bargeman explores the value of peer supporters, or "fellow trauma travelers," who bring lived experience to the healing process. These individuals understand the raw realities of trauma because they have navigated similar paths. The episode also underscores the limitations of traditional therapy and why integrating informal supports can be transformative. With practical screening steps, Dr. Bargeman equips listeners to identify guides who not only have theoretical knowledge but also provide real-world, in-the-moment support.

Choosing the right guide is a pivotal step toward reaching your "fully healed self." Dr. Bargeman draws from her own experiences and professional insights to empower listeners to take control of their healing journey. Learn how to avoid costly missteps, select the right guide, and choose a healing path that fits your unique circumstances.

For a detailed step-by-step guide on screening potential trauma practitioners, don’t forget to download the free PDF handbook mentioned in the episode—click here to access it. For more resources and guidance, visit mariabargeman.com to explore Dr. Bargeman’s work as a trauma recovery specialist.

1. Choosing the Right Guide Matters: The wrong therapist or guide can set back your progress. Trust and emotional intelligence are essential qualities to seek in a trauma practitioner.
2. Peer Support is Powerful: Working with someone who has lived through and overcome their own trauma can provide unmatched empathy and understanding.
3. Screen Before You Commit: Use Dr. Bargeman’s practical screening steps to ensure your guide meets your needs and aligns with your healing goals.

In this powerful episode of The School of Resilience, Dr. Maria Bargeman reveals the missing ingredient in trauma healing that traditional therapy often overlooks. Using a compelling analogy of climbing a mountain, she describes the journey of trauma healing as a challenging, individualized trek that requires more than just weekly sessions in an artificial environment removed from the realities of everyday life. Dr. Bargeman asserts that traditional therapy can often feel isolated and detached from real-life struggles, leaving people unprepared and unsupported in their darkest moments that always happen outside of the slotted appointment time. Instead, true healing happens when we have an experienced “mountain guide” who walks WITH you through every difficult step while providing real-time, real-world support and personalized tools.

Dr. Bargeman emphasizes that navigating the trauma healing process requires customized tools, the right pacing, and a clear path tailored to each person’s unique journey. This is why a “one-size-fits-all” approach in therapy often falls short, leaving individuals feeling directionless and overwhelmed. The right guide will provide proper preparation and ongoing support that adapts to the complexities of each person's experiences. Traditional therapy's focus on weekly appointments in a removed space can make trauma healing feel incomplete, as it doesn’t always translate to the raw challenges people face in their everyday lives.

In the final segment, Dr. Bargeman stresses the importance of human connection, guidance, and authentic engagement in overcoming trauma. Healing cannot happen in isolation but rather through genuine community and a structured process that meets individuals where they are. To succeed in summiting your “trauma mountain,” you need the right support system, personalized pacing, and effective tools that truly work for you. For more insights into Dr. Bargeman’s approach and her mission to transform trauma healing, visit mariabargeman.com.

1. The Missing Ingredient in Healing: True trauma healing requires a “mountain guide” who provides personalized and consistent support through every stage, not just weekly sessions in a detached office.
2. Tailored Tools and Processes: Effective healing comes from customized tools, pacing, and routes specific to an individual's unique needs, avoiding a “one-size-fits-all” approach.
3. Healing Through Connection: Authentic human engagement and community are critical in trauma recovery, ensuring people are supported in real-world challenges and guided to their fully healed selves.

In this transformative episode of The School of Resilience, Dr. Maria Bargeman opens up about her decade-long journey to overcoming severe PTSD and the key insights that ultimately led to her full recovery. She emphasizes the critical importance of proper preparation before beginning any trauma healing process, highlighting how a lack of guidance can result in setbacks and unnecessary suffering. Sharing her own struggles with ineffective therapies and trial-and-error treatments, Dr. Bargeman stresses the need for individuals to have a clear strategy and to be well-informed as they embark on their healing journey. This episode is dedicated to providing the tools and knowledge required to navigate trauma recovery more effectively and to avoid common pitfalls.

Dr. Bargeman also explores the significance of honoring one's instincts throughout the healing process, particularly when dealing with professionals who may unintentionally impose ineffective or even harmful treatment plans. She acknowledges the power dynamics present in therapeutic relationships and empowers listeners to trust themselves, ask questions, and seek alternative approaches if necessary. The episode underscores that a good clinician will welcome curiosity and patient input, while red flags arise when your questions are dismissed or disregarded. This discussion serves as a reminder that each person's healing journey is deeply personal, and it is essential to find a supportive therapeutic partnership.

The final key takeaway of the episode is the necessity of a customized approach to trauma healing. Dr. Bargeman explains that one-size-fits-all solutions do not work for trauma recovery because every individual's experiences, needs, and capacities differ. Full healing means unlocking the impact of trauma on the mind, body, and sense of self in a manner that respects each person's unique pace and readiness. With compassion and encouragement, Dr. Bargeman reassures her audience that full healing is possible, sharing her own inspiring recovery from a broken mind to a place of strength, purpose, and professional expertise in trauma-informed care. She concludes with an invitation to continue this healing journey together, offering practical guidance and hope for those seeking to overcome their trauma fully.

Dr. Maria Bargeman is a dedicated trauma recovery specialist with years of expertise in trauma-informed care. Having overcome her own experiences with PTSD, she is committed to transforming the mental health system to better serve trauma survivors. Dr. Bargeman offers compassionate guidance, practical tools, and an unwavering belief in the possibility of full healing. Learn more about her work at mariabargeman.com.

1. Proper Preparation is Essential: Approaching trauma recovery without adequate preparation can lead to setbacks and delays. Dr. Bargeman emphasizes the importance of understanding treatment options, selecting the right therapist, and having a clear roadmap for the healing process.
2. Trust Your Instincts: Patients have the right to question and advocate for themselves if they feel their therapy is not effective. A healthy therapeutic relationship involves mutual respect and curiosity, without an overbearing power dynamic.
3. Customized Healing is Key: There is no universal formula for trauma recovery. Personalized strategies that account for individual differences in processing styles, needs, and readiness are crucial for achieving lasting healing.

00:00 The Journey to Healing from PTSD

02:53 The Importance of Preparation in Healing

06:06 Honoring Your Instincts and Power Dynamics

09:00 The Need for a Customized Healing Approach

In this episode of The School of Resilience, Dr. Maria Bargeman explores the critical need for a "Courage to Continue" plan in the journey of trauma recovery. Recognizing that many people reach a point where progress feels stagnant or impossible, Maria emphasizes the importance of having an actionable, personalized plan that includes "anchor points"—core beliefs and reasons that ground and inspire the courage to persist. She explains that these anchor points, coupled with a well-tailored strategy, serve as lifelines, helping individuals navigate the inevitable doubts and struggles that accompany the healing process.

Maria delves into the specifics of crafting this resilience plan, advocating for proactive preparation. By creating a toolkit that includes personalized support systems, selected resilience role models, and grounding exercises, listeners can empower themselves to move forward, even when hope wavers. She highlights that having pre-defined actions, like reaching out to a trusted support person or connecting with a resilience model, can transform feelings of isolation and self-doubt into renewed motivation.

Finally, Maria shares her own experiences and examples to illustrate how implementing a Courage to Continue plan has been essential in her journey and the journeys of those she's helped. A pioneer in trauma recovery, Dr. Bargeman brings a compassionate, structured approach to this difficult work. To learn more about her expertise in trauma recovery and to access resources for healing, visit mariabargeman.com.

For more information on understanding and reframing your trauma narrative, check out my previous video here.

1. Create a "Courage to Continue" Plan: Developing a plan that includes your anchor points and a tailored strategy is crucial to navigate moments of doubt in trauma recovery.
2. Identify Your Anchor Points: Define the core reasons and beliefs that drive your healing journey, as they will help you remain grounded and motivated during tough times.
3. Use Support Systems and Role Models: Cultivating connections with trusted support figures and resilience role models can be transformative, reducing isolation and reigniting hope.