In this episode of Ways to Grow Podcast, Zankhana Mistry talks about the power of Family Constellations on healing ourselves.

What is a constellation? Like with stars, a constellation is defined as the placement of every individual in a space.

Bert Hellinger is the founder of Family Constellation.

He began his research on the representative phenomenon in 1978 and discovered the fundamental orders of life, which he called "Orders of Love". These form the basis of Family Constellation. These orders are:

1. Belonging: As humans, we want to belong. That is one of the basic needs of any human being. When we describe ourselves, we do it in relation to our family, culture, job, friends... when we don't belong, trauma occurs.

2. Order: When a parent dies and one of their children takes their role, the order is disturbed, and trauma occurs. The good news is that just by acknowledging it, we can fix the trauma.

3. Balance: For every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction. If one person gives a friend a gift, this person will return another present. What goes around comes around. When the balance is altered, trauma occurs.

When any of these principles are disturbed, the system suffers. The system can be understood as a persona, a family, a couple, a team... you name it.

In this episode, Christoffel Sneijders tells about the three brains: Gut, Head and Heart. He describes how they function and how it works when someone has dominance in one of them. He also explains how to find an alignment between these brains so that we can make better decisions.

Here are some of the highlights:

We have three brains. Scientists discovered 35 years ago that in the heart, we have one hundred thousand brain cells that operate like a brain - can remember, can make decisions.

Now you're a mom, so you know how you sometimes feel that your heart almost squeezes when you leave your little one alone. Now, why does your heart squeeze? That signal is not coming from your head. Now your heart feels, “oh, I’ll leave my little one alone”, and it gives a reaction. Also, it can produce three hormones that help you in that: oxytocin - the love hormone, endorphins- that puts you in action, and dopamine - the famous memory-drug, you could say.

And in the same period of time, in the mid-80s, beginning of the 90s, the gut-brain got officially approved as a brain. So, Michael D. Gershon, with 30 years of research on the gut, described in his book “The second brain” that we have 500 million brain cells in the gut; that's the size of a dog brain in your gut. 100 million around your small intestine, and the other 400 million in that area to make all kinds of decisions. And not only about digestion but everything that has to do with your survival needs. So, when you have that gut feeling from, “Agh! Should I do it or not?” that's your gut saying, “Is this wise for my survival or not?” where do you feel fear? In your gut.

The 3 brains have their own authority and their own objectives; the gut brain thinks all about survival, me, myself and I. Everyone who's a winner, whether in sports or companies or politics or in whatever's… they need a big gut brain. To become a real winner, you also need your heart-brain because you have to follow your passion. And your heart-brain is all about connection.

If you follow your gut, you would say: "okay, I will go for my own career, for my own stuff and my own things, and by the way, I don't care".

If you follow your heart, you'll say: "no, I take care of the team. I take care of the family. I take care of everybody else".

If you follow your head, you say: "Okay, let's be logical. What is the best decision based on all the statistics and all the wise things?"

If you follow only one, most times you may regret it in the end. So we must align those three and let them have a discussion inside and come up with a common solution.

Stefania Brunori talked in this podcast about the importance of creating a business from purpose and here are some of the highlights of this episode:

You really need to revisit your WHY; what is your purpose. It doesn't mean that by knowing your purpose, everything is done and it's not going to be difficult. It is challenging but having a purpose is powerful and it's what will make you stand out on the days that you don't have any energy or are not motivated.

I believe that each of us has a gift or more that makes us unique, and pulling from that gift and that uniqueness, just the simple act of doing more of that uniqueness that you have will connect you with many other good things. Maybe you don't know where this will take you, but your energy is different when you do something you are 100 percent aligned with. The types of people that you are going to attract are different. The kind of conversations that you are going to have are different, and that is going to inspire you.

What we've gone through during the pandemic gave a lot of light to things that we didn't want to see before or couldn't see before, so a lot of people have realized that they are unhappy in their jobs or the companies that they are business owners. So, I think the topic of purpose is more relevant than ever.

I think passion and purpose are different. So, purpose can be from something tiny I do every day inside my company or with my family. Purpose has a component of wanting to contribute to others, while passion can be, I’m passionate about cinema or I’m passionate about car racing. You are not thinking about how this can impact others.

I think we also have to be careful when we think about creating a business from purpose, believing that it will be a walk in the park because it's not.

After having worked with many startups and SMEs, and future entrepreneurs and also launching my own business, the main thing when you launch a business is that you need to solve a problem. Otherwise, it's going to be a hobby, not a business. So, understanding which is the socio-economic trends is critical.

The first step to starting a business is to have at least some clarity on the idea. It doesn't mean it needs to be a validated idea, but the first step is finding this mix between your skills, your knowledge, and what is required in the market. And then start putting numbers to realize the size of this opportunity. At the same time, you may need someone who guides you because it's tough to know about everything.

I always tell them if they can, they can plan in advance so they will avoid half of the pain that I went through because, of course, it was accidental. After all, I didn't somehow have the option but bless that hardship because it allowed me to go through that part of realizing what I like.

That's been the most significant change in my life. I started yoga as a tool to reduce my stress, and yoga gives me a higher connection with my body. That knowledge of the body has also increased my intuition, which I think is a super powerful tool for business. Meditation has helped me observe my thoughts without getting messed with them but from afar. So, it's helped me to be far from reaction.

And as you get this knowledge about your body, you know even more when you are in tune with your values. So, if you are doing things that are not connected with your values, your body will tell you. Maybe if you don't listen to your body, you won't realize until you get sick. But if you are connected, you will realize that when you work with this company, you are not feeling okay. So, I would say that the yoga and coaching, which allowed me to learn about the values, are giving me that perspective.