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Life Bite Series. Good communications are paramount if we are to enjoy life, feel good, be happy, understand where we are and those around us. We all know those who are bad communicators in life because they expect everyone else to call them and feel badly done when it doesn't happen. But communications are a two way thing and a lack of communication can lead to you not only being left out in life or lose business but end up lonely and isolated.

At times we would all like to change our life or aspects of our life. We get into a rut or things don't quite work out as they should or circumstances change etc. Well, the only thing stopping us change is ourselves and not the excuses we hide behind.... We all have second and third and fourth chances every single day, we can if we wish alter our lives sometimes dramatically in an instant. For others it takes time, but change is by its own nature is an ongoing process.

The word "spirituality" is brandished about today as almost a surrogate word for God. Instead of saying you believe in whatever religion you do, it's almost the "in thing" to say you are spiritual and believe in the Universe (whatever that means). The Universe exists whether you believe in it or not. Even the dictionay definition of the word spirituality is somewhat vague in that it can mean a lot of different things, even if pertaining to the same thing.

When we get angry, upset, or someone does something we don't like, or we feel disadvantaged, we process that information in our mind. It is the only place where we can "come to terms" with what we have experienced, whatever it is. Our levels or degrees of intelligence play a vital part in how we think and look at life. Ghandi said that "forgiveness was not something the lower classes or the uneducated could do", and by and large it appears to be true.

Life not only throws spanners in the works, it throws at times whatever it can get hold of, it catches us off guard and makes us feel just so vulnerable. Whether it's something financial, health related, work wise, relationships or a combination of all of those it matters not, it is not nice and furthermore very much dulls our outlook on life, which in reality is the last thing we need.

Forgiveness is essential if we are not to burden our minds with events that have passed. It is not always easy but it is essential. Gandhi said "The weak can never forgive it only comes from the strong," and it is so true. The ignorant, those who worship evil religions, and the stupid can never ever forgive as to them it's a lack of face so they harbour hatred and evil and carry it around with them as a moribund justification. Hence they are great failures in life as they can't move on. Anger within hurts yourself more than anything, it's like drinking poison and expecting others to die, it never works.

Love is the essential ingredient in life that makes it worth living, it seeps into every corner of our lives, and where love is - evil isn't. Where love has the upper hand devious and cruel existences can't survive.You can see that the societies that have "love" within them prosper and create whereas those that have conditional love have unjust and repressive societies that control and kill and are barbaric in nature. Love allows us to be happy, be comfortable, to prosper not only in wealth but the quality of our lives and our health. Love nurtures and cares and gives unlimited options to move forward without hindrance.

It's good to have nice memories, and with them often comes a few not-so-nice events, too, that linger in our mind - it's just the way it is. Time for most of us heals the past so that it is way down the pecking order of our thoughts and thus more recent events keep us bouyant and bright. Certain people and certain events for some however hold on to the past as if it is some kind of justification for life and gives them credibility, etc. Politically correct morons often do this as they are held back in the undercurrent of low life and worthlessness. Life moves forward, we don't have to look back because we don't go that way.

Failure has been given a bad name. Yes it is not nice to fail we all like to win, come out on top because it makes us feel good. But without failure we don't have success and we are all living the lives we are today because many people have failed, some mega time too. Pharnaceuticals (where scientists fail every day for years trying to find a solution), aviation, engineering, businesses, etc, we all fail from time to time. We do however get 10/10 for trying, we get nothing for not trying or doing nothing.

A concise look at who we are. We are a "product of ourselves" no other. Despite who we may follow or admire, what we might spire to, it is our decision to do so. so we have to take ownership of the end result. Blame Culture (another topic in the series) is not an option. Regardless of our upbringing we get to a stage where we think for ourselves, unless we choose not to, but that's still our decision. An interesting brief six minutes on who you are and how you can change it - if you want to!

At times we all come an impass, an area in life whether we are starting out or perhaps in mid-life where we think we need to be somewhere else. Where we feel that we have either outgrown or exhausted our past and we need to do something else and move on. Our decisions can be relatively easy or they can be overwhelmingly difficult. At A Crossroads complements the book of the same name.

Life Bite Series. Religions are a construct of God, whichever God you worship. God is the ultime in love. Where love exists there is no evil, it just can't be there in any form. If you worship a God that has evil and killing then ask yourself what is the Devil supposed to do? Religions have been amended, altered, changed, added to over the years and are now commercial aspects of God rather than what God offers.

Life Bite Series. The Chameleon Effect is when you try to be everything to everybody to please them or fit in. The problem however with being everything to everyone is that you end up being nothing to yourself and ultimately a disappointment to everyone else as well as they never see the real until it is too late, then they feel let down. People must love you for who you are and not what you think they wold like to see or make up some fictitious character that is not you then you do one thing and that is deceive yourself.

We need to steer our course in life because if we don't then life will by default takes us where it is going, often to a place where we didn't want to be. Life doesn't hold any favourites nor does it take prisoners; it goes its own way regardless. What we do in life is down to us regardless of circumstances and conditions - those we can rarely control. What we can control even if we are somewhat timid in personality is how we think and what we do and how we react to everything.

People will view us, judge us, accept us, or reject us based upon our attitude. Our initial concerns come from seeing someone else's attitude, which gets modified down the line the more we know of them. But if we have one inital meeting we can be a success or a failure in an instant. Our attitude is part of our "Shop Window" so if it looks shoddy or unkempt then that's how others see you. Of course everything in situ whether you are at work or at play you dress appropriately, but your character still remains relatively constant so a great assessment needs to take into account all mitigating circumstances.

Life Bite Series. You are a product of yourself. What you wear, how you speak, what you eat, what you do, etc., it's all a decision that you have taken and it outwardly shows too. Similarly, life is a product of your decisions and how you interact with the various parameters in life. What fits into your comfort zone or what you do to try things outside of it are still down to you. Your views on life play a considerable part in how you enjoy life (or not) and how you make friends (or not) and what you do in life; no one does this for you.

It is true that a smile can elevate the soul, improve your wellbeing, make you more accessible to others and indeed companies if you go for an interview. But what happens when we are hurting, saddened, unhappy, lonely, fearful, upset? The first thing we should not do is "Stop smiling" wearing our anguish only tends to make matters worse and sympathy is a hollow virtue in that it can elevate the senses but has no substance whatsoever.

Forget about "Blame Culture" or circumstances or situations, you are in charge of your life at all times, never ever forget that. You wouldn't leave home naked so don't leave home thinking that someone else is in charge of you. Never ever give your authority away to anyone else no matter who or what. Yes, you have to comply at times to where you are whether at work or play, but that doesn't mean being subservient or a sponge to others who are bombastic or domineering.

Relationships with our partners and "best" friends need to be of a high quality in order to feel "as one". If you have a partner the conversation should have changed from "me" to "us" and from "I" to "we"; if it hasn't then what are you doing together? The union of a couple whether straight or gay (or anything else) is a mutual harmony, otherwise what is the union all about. All this "I need my space" is a modern "cop-out", stay single and enjoy all the space you need. Selfishness in a relationship is a major curse as is "emotional blackmail", harmony doesn't have pockets of personal agendas, which doesn't mean you can't have individual thoughts and aspirations.

Coming out, despite the possible initial impetus to do so, is one of the most liberating aspects of your life. It is you who is being you. You don't need approval or permission nor anything else. Accepting who you are in every way is not only cathartic but puts you in a strong and definable position, because it is you who has to live with yourself every second of every day.