As all eyes turn to Melbourne for the most anticipated two weeks on the tennis calendar, Nine’s Wide World of Sports brings you Australian Open: The Happy Slam.

In this six-part documentary mini-series, James Bracey chats with the stars who made The Australian Open what it is today.

Subscribe so you don’t miss Pat Rafter, Dylan Alcott, Jim Courier, Jelena Dokic, Ajla Tomljanovic and Todd Woodbridge, as they tell their stories of how the Australian Open changed them, and how they changed it. 

Available wherever you get your podcasts.

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I made the decision to have kids close together so I could get the baby phase 'over
and done with', but now I feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew. Two kids under
two? How will I survive?

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Some days I feel like being a mum is a non-stop guilt trip. I feel guilty leaving my child, I feel guilty asking for help - sometimes even thinking is enough to make me feel guilty! The minute I've talked myself out of feeling guilty for one decision, it creeps back in for another. When guilt is inescapable, how can I let it go?

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Here's the truth: as a mum, I lie about nearly everything.
I lie that my kid sleeps well, I lie that he eats puree, I lie that I leave him to cry so he gets used to 'alone time', I lie that I can't bear to leave him for daycare.
So why do I choose to lie about my experience as a mother easier rather than face possible judgement?

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I had everything going for me in my career... and then I decided it was time to have kids. What have I done? Will I ever be able to catch up? And am I horrible for blaming my kids for getting left behind?

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My baby sleeps, but I don't... Why? Because instead, I spend all night worrying about his sleep, my sleep, his life, my life - anything my unending train of thoughts can get a hold of.
I need it to stop but I don't know how. I have never been an anxious person but everything is different now. So what can I do to finally get a good night's rest? 

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I know my husband loves me and we have a great relationship. If anything, having a child has brought us closer together. But I can't help but feel unsexy and like I'm letting him down with my post-baby body. My body isn't what it used to be and I never properly 'bounced back' following my first. I hate the way I look, and I'm left wondering what it will take to make me feel confident in my body again.

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All the mums around me thrive on being a mum. They relish in every moment, memory and minute with their child. I don't. So was I meant to be a mum? Or did I just go along with what I thought came as the next step in life?

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